Russia Novaya

[Caius]

The Beggining (Part 1 of 3)

In some remote alley of the city, the Ushi Party was having another reunion. They had something to discuss, but they werent going to discuss something without the party leader. The members of the party were remembering the last things that had place in the city of Moscow.

The party did not have good reputation amongst the russian people. The party ideas were considerated dangerous, and this was the main reason they lost by a big margin the recent elections of 2018.

The following days, turned out to be worse. One of the member mentioned why, quoting the leader with the exact words: "If they vote us, fine. If they DON'T vote us, too. People will know what are we fighting for, which are our methods, I don't care how we demonstrate our methods, if we lose the elections, we will take the power by the force, if its necesary. I do not see any other solution to this dilemma. A new Russia is going to born with our help. the Russia we all know at this day, it won't be that Russia anymore"

The proposed plan that day, with the declaration of the leader, was starting to be done, but it didn't go as the Party expected to go. The plan failed, not by the error of those who tried to take the Government by the force, it failed thanks to a traitor to the party, an informant of the russian police that made his work as the police expected: He was supposed to control every movement, meeting, candidate, and, the last but not less important, the leader of the party.

A few minutes later, finally someone came into the alley, and it wasnt exactly the leader. The informant told the local police about the meeting, and the police arrived the site very fast, so the remaining members of the party did not have much time to talk...

Grigor Stoyanovic was in his home of Voronetz, in the south of Russia. 8 years after, his party was asaulting the government palace. Today, he was alone, in his home. He fooled the policemen so many times, but today they seem so eager to find them. Some minutes later, he found the reason.
He turned on his radio, and found the PM of Russia talking to the people in the radio.
"Attention citizens. Today we have made a great advance in the fight about the suvbersive ultranationalists that today they are still hiding in alleys.
Today, we found the leader. We know the exactly location of the leader, and he will be executed as a traitor of the country, like..."
The speech continued, but Grigor did not pay attention. He remembered how hard he fought, what he had done, and he saw his dream not realized.
Someone knocked the door. Slow but a lot of times. Grigor did not want to open, but whoever who was in the other side insisted. And, tired of hearing the door and it's caracteristic noise, he opened it.

I'd like any kind of commentaries.

[shlin28]

Ooh!!! Is that based on the campaign from Empire Earth???

Can't wait to see what happens next, great writing

[Monk]

Hm. Very interesting story concept, in fact I think it's not too bad if I say so myself. There are some grammatical errors here and there, a missing word that disrupts the flow of the reader's motion while they go along. A program like MS word (or an equivalent) can help you out there.

Still I think you have potential with this story, I think it'll be interesting to see it unfold further should you decide to continue it.

[Caius]

The Beggining: Part 2 of 3

He opened it. Slow, unsure about what would come.

A man was at the other side of the door. This person had a russian militar uniform, it looked like the same one the patrollers out there, in the city streets. The simple fact that this person had an uniform scared Grigor, surprising him. Grigor was frigthened. The patroller took his gun, and just said:
-Shut up, don't even try to say a word. Can I enter?
Grigor barely managed to move his head. He entered his home, closed the door, and said:
-Grigor, leader of the Ushi Party, I have an important new to give to you. Your life is in danger.
-I have been under danger for months including years, what is going on now?
-The police know that you are in the city, in some place of the streets of Voronetz. They have deployed a lange amount of soldiers to catch you.
-Why are you telling me this? Are you a traitor? Can you drop your weapon?
-Yeah, I can. I am not going to do it, because you have to listen to me. Eight years before, all our people were jailed. You weren't there, neither was I. We know it that we could survive after that. Will you let your dream die?
-No.
-Then lets go out of this city. Or will you wait to let them come and kill you? I do not think that you want that. I implore you to get out of this city.
-You are right, if they kill me, they kill my dream with me. We have to go to Volvograd.
-You can go in the back of my car. We will be able to fool the guards the police deployed in the outside part of the city.
-The back of the car, eh... Pyotr?
-Yes, my name is Pyotr, did you remember it?
-Not at all. I don't know why, but it seems thats your name.
-Anyway, we can't leave with your car. The back of your car will be checked, and I will be discovered.
-Get in the car, in the luggage. We will be able inside the city.

The night came faster in the city of Voronetz. They traveled, but they did not find anything. Finally, after some minutes of rounding the city, they stop in the rural zone of Voronetz. They ran out of fuel, but they did not stop. They had to find anything that could help them. Grigor and Pyotr started to look around, looking for their salvation. They found an old truck, fulfilled with potatoes. They looked one upon the other and they understood what to do without saying a single word. The old truck made a lot of noise, and with a leader hidden in the potatoes and a traitor driving, they were heading to the doors of Voronetz.

[shlin28]

I think I know what happens next

[Caius]

I think I know what happens next

Do you? Do you really? Since I'm the writer I can change that, you know.

[Monk]

Do not change the plot mainly because someone may see where it is going, rather let it unfold upon its own accord. That is my opinion/advice anyway

Your previous post was removed as per request.

[Caius]

Monk:I know, I know. The plot won't be changed, no matter if shlin knows the whole story.
And sorry for everyone who has been following this story, I shared the story with my literature teacher, and well, something happened to me, to her, and I got it back now.

The Beggining : Chapter 3 of 3

The plan has its little details that, neither Grigor nor Pyotr could be aware of. They run to the truck, Grigor in the back part, toghether with all the potatoes of the truck. Pyotr, as always, was driving. Before they started to leave the city, Pyotr dressed as a normal person, he considered that if the guards see him driving a truck, that would be a awful mistake!

The truck stopped. Tanks, a few soldiers and an officer stopped him. There were robust defences, and the only way to continue the travel to Volvograd was to talk with the officer in charge.
-Halt! A dangerous criminal is alone, we must inspectionate your vehicle!
Pyotr waited a few minutes. The officer talked with one of the soldiers, who left his gun and looked in the rear part of the vehicle.
Finally, he came into a conclusion:
-Its ok, Yuri, this truck is full of potatoes. It can continue.
The officer shout to the gate soldiers, and they opened it. Freedom and the realization of Russia Novaya are just a matter of travel. At least, Grigor evaded the fool guards. At least, his Russia is possible.