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Thread: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

  1. #1
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Mr Gholam-Ali Haddad-Adel, the Speaker of the Majlis (Iranian parliament) has called for a boycot of Dutch products. Earlier this year 215 Iranian MP's called for a 'revision of political and trade cooperation' with The Neds.

    No, we're not the Rushdies of 2008. We have no Rushdie, only a peroxide blonde MP with an IQ equal to my shoe size who makes third rate home videos.

    Aaanyways - maybe nothing will come of it, but it is a nice exercise. I have been looking into the numbers so as to figure out what a boycot would actually mean. I discovered one major thing: I don't know Jack Split about boycots and the way they work (and work out) in practice. So please help me out.

    Here are some numbers, taken from our Trade Department website.

    It appears that we import crude oil from Iran to the tune of about 1 billion euro and not much else. Iran in turn imports about 660 million euro worth of machinery, chemical products and farm animals from The Neds.

    So who will be hurting who? And is the Speaker deliberately excluding exports to the Neds (i.e. crude oil, which we pay in dollars) from his statement?

    Help me out, guys.
    Last edited by Adrian II; 04-06-2008 at 13:49.
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  2. #2
    Horse Archer Senior Member Sarmatian's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    He called for the boycott of products from all countries "blaspheming" Islam, not just Dutch products, and in all Muslim countries, not just Iran.

    Anyway, as long as it isn't officiall (ie Iran bans all Dutch products), it probably won't have a big effect.
    Last edited by Sarmatian; 04-06-2008 at 14:02.

  3. #3
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    May god help us all!

  4. #4
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Sarmatian
    Anyway, as long as it isn't officiall (ie Iran bans all Dutch products), it probably won't have a big effect.
    I know, I know. Like I wrote, this is just an thought exercise. I'm trying to establish what the effect would be if Iran followed its own lead. Do they need our farm animals (destined mainly, I assume, for breeding purposes) badly or not? Do we have an energy problem if they cut off that oil supply or can we get the same amount of roughly similar quality and same price elsewhere? Etcetera.

    For comparison: what about the boycot of Denmark, how did it work out (if it did at all..)?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    May god help us all!
    Or them...
    Last edited by Adrian II; 04-06-2008 at 14:09.
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  5. #5
    Clan Takiyama Senior Member CBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    For comparison: what about the boycot of Denmark, how did it work out (if it did at all..)?
    AFAIK the latest boycot seems to have slowly died out again.


    CBR

  6. #6
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Cutting down our oil isn't really as simple as closing the tap, how exactly do they want to do that most moves through pipes. The great goatski can throw his funny little party. They need us more then we need them, boycott this [insert youknow] beard and give us back our nuclair tech.

  7. #7
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    Cutting down our oil isn't really as simple as closing the tap, how exactly do they want to do that most moves through pipes.
    And it moves through foreign companies, international markets, Panamanian oil tankers... We have seen before how easily oil boycots can be sabotaged or circumvented.
    They need us more then we need them, boycott this [insert youknow] beard and give us back our nuclair tech.
    They need us more? Lol, I'm not so sure. I was wrong about our main agro export to Iran. It isn't large farm animals or even genetic material, it's chickens and eggs...
    Last edited by Adrian II; 04-06-2008 at 14:29.
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  8. #8
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    And it moves through foreign companies, international markets, Panamanian oil tankers... We have seen before how easily oil boycots can be sabotaged or circumvented.They need us more? Lol, I'm not so sure. I was wrong about our main agro export to Iran. It isn't large farm animals or even genetic material, it's chickens and eggs...
    chicken and eggs the age old question, I always miss the cloaca in the debate but ah well. A lot of chickens and eggs by the way, we have a huge meat industry and we export a lot of vegies as well. They can't hurt us, we can hurt them though, maybe we should boycott the islamic world just for kicks and giggles.

    edit, better not
    Last edited by Fragony; 04-06-2008 at 15:00.

  9. #9
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    A lot of chickens and eggs by the way, we have a huge meat industry and we export a lot of vegies as well. They can't hurt us, we can hurt them though, maybe we should boycott the islamic world just for kicks and giggles.
    We don't export veggies to them at all, only seeds. And the American competition will be eager to pick up any cancelled Iranian orders. No my friend, vee vill hurt zem with our secrrret weapon: ze flower bulp!

    They import 2,6 million euro worth of flower bulbs and related stuff. I say: no more flowers for Dinnerjacket.

    That will teach him.
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  10. #10
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    More concerned about this http://www.spitsnieuws.nl/archives/b...ord_op_fi.html

    I get a tan pretty easily and as you know I am from the Veluwe.

  11. #11
    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    A boycott would suit you infidels fine.
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  12. #12
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by HoreTore
    A boycott would suit you infidels fine.
    Bring it on.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott

  13. #13
    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    Bring it on.
    Really though, you should be happy about this response. Consumer boycotts is a good thing, isn't it? And it is the right of the consumer?

    Don't want to get boycotted? Well then, don't upset your customers!
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  14. #14
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by HoreTore
    Consumer boycotts is a good thing, isn't it? And it is the right of the consumer?
    Um, we are talking state boycots. Boycots enforced by authoritarian regimes and religious figures.
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  15. #15
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    Um, we are talking state boycots. Boycots enforced by authoritarian regimes and religious figures.
    Horetore is right it's not really enforced more like encouraged, dutch products just get a stamp so people know it's dutch that's it, much like in Libanon.

  16. #16
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Fragony
    Horetore is right it's not really enforced more like encouraged, dutch products just get a stamp so people know it's dutch that's it, much like in Libanon.
    Oh, so now you're a Communist too huh?
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  17. #17
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    How could you

  18. #18
    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by Adrian II
    Oh, so now you're a Communist too huh?
    Nah, free market liberals!

    I've always been one, you know...
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  19. #19
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Kewl Pakistan, 20.000 hatebeards not bad. Now it's finally starting to look like something.



    Was starting to get worried we can't even spark a proper international riot anymore, what fun would that be.

  20. #20
    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Pshh. Iran needs the Dutch products more. The Netherlands can get oil elsewhere anyways. Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan are both just beginning to tap oil reserves, and much of it pumps through pro-western Georgia into Europe already. The Dutch can just turn to them and get their oil fix.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

  21. #21
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikhaan
    Pshh. Iran needs the Dutch products more. The Netherlands can get oil elsewhere anyways. Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan are both just beginning to tap oil reserves, and much of it pumps through pro-western Georgia into Europe already. The Dutch can just turn to them and get their oil fix.
    uh-huh, and it isn't like they don't have other more pressing problems such as mass starvation.

    http://www.newscientist.com/channel/...-millions.html

    Silly beards, that's why you lose.

  22. #22
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikhaan
    Pshh. Iran needs the Dutch products more. The Dutch can just turn to them and get their oil fix.
    I knew it!
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  23. #23
    has a Senior Member HoreTore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Quote Originally Posted by kamikhaan
    Pshh. Iran needs the Dutch products more. The Netherlands can get oil elsewhere anyways. Kazakhstan and Azerbaijan are both just beginning to tap oil reserves, and much of it pumps through pro-western Georgia into Europe already. The Dutch can just turn to them and get their oil fix.
    Uhm.... Who needs ....uh...."whatever the hell the dutch make" anyway?

    I sincerely doubt that those clickety-click wooden shoes are a hit in Iran. Or anywhere.
    Last edited by HoreTore; 04-07-2008 at 07:14.
    Still maintain that crying on the pitch should warrant a 3 match ban

  24. #24
    The Black Senior Member Papewaio's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    A boycott made by labeling the products Dutch could backfire.

    Oh look Dutch chicken how exotic lets buy this tonight dear.
    Oh and the Cheese. And dear get me those tulips.

    It would be funny if this increases buyer awareness and increases the Dutch market share.
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  25. #25
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    We are a bit more then confortable bliss sitting on natural recources mia muca's.

  26. #26
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    Stop the presses. I consulted some analysts and a knowledgeable Department of Trade fellow whom I happen to know. It appears that Dutch-Iranian trade is at an all-time low, hardly half the 2006 numbers I quoted above. Our oil import from Iran has stagnated around half a billion euro, representing ten million barrels. That equals two percent of Rotterdam harbour's yearly intake, and that's only Rotterdam. Exports to Iran have also declined 'dramatically' because credit insurance companies have put the lid on them in light of the instable trade relationship.

    The impact of an Iranian boycot on The Neds would be practically zilch.
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  27. #27
    Enlightened Despot Member Vladimir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Iran vs The Netherlands - Round 1

    And likewise for Iran in less you count the political capital they could earn.


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