I seriously need some advice.

[Beirut]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

[Rhyfelwyr]

Tell your sister that you hate the guy, but still be nice to him and that way you'll be the good guy if anything happens in future.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Start railing on his face. Ditch your sis if she takes his side. Tell your mom to make you a new sister.

I don't care what my siblings do. It's their life. They can screw themselves if they insist. I give advice, then if they don't listen, they can't complain to me.

In fact, if they make decisions that I find stupid or abhorrent, I don't speak to them until they correct it.

Blood means very little - protect them and make bonds, but the bonds and similarities are key - if the siblings are retarded and destructive, we don't have much in common and I am not as close to them as I am to my actual friends.

I'd die for my brothers and sisters, but they are entirely responsible for their own lives. This understanding has kept them from making more serious mistakes to this point.

Haven't you freaks legalized murder yet? Murder is the other option. It's only wrong if someone catches you.

[Fragony]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

Aye there merci that's what I thought.

[Samurai Waki]

Hire some Italians to "Take him for a ride" if you get my drift.

[LeftEyeNine]

Hire some Italians to "Take him for a ride" if you get my drift.

Regarding the fact that he's a Dutchie, Turks/Kurds would be more available and willing to offer that ride.

On a serious note, I know it is "easy to the tongue"[*] but keeping cool while your sister is happy with her man seems the ultimate must for the time being. If your sis gets sick of him in a further time due to some reason, that's when you'd have a full hand of aces. Trust me, the kickbutting will be orgasmic at that time.

Fondest wishes,

LEN "Orange Wolf" Boss

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

[*] : Another stupid Turkish saying implying that it is quite easy to mention it rather than actually doing.

[Samurai Waki]

Regarding the fact that he's a Dutchie, Turks/Kurds would be more available and willing to offer that ride.

But nobody would suspect the Italians...

Plus after he's "gone" She'll come crying back into your families loving embrace, and soon after find herself a better mate. Badda-Boom-Badda-Bing Like that.

[LeftEyeNine]

But nobody would suspect the Italians...

Nobody would dare coping with the Turkish/Kurdish ones.

*stubs his cigarette on the lip of the unlucky Italian*

[macsen rufus]

You may also suggest as your mother really needs her money, it might be a good idea for him to get a commercial loan to pay her back, then let the professional debt-collectors chase the repayments. It will take some of the stress outside the family, and might just help turn him round to face his responsibilities - which is well overdue by the sounds of it if he soon has a family to provide for

I also agree with Adrian - don't let this rip the rest of your family apart, don't force your sister to "take sides" - especially if the baby is your mother's first grandchild.

[Adrian II]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

Wise words.

I've seen some acrimony in my own family, and the moral is that you should never act in ways that alienate the ones you love, even if you have to suffer the presence and capers of Mr Bad News. Cause if he is bad news, he will thrive on a row between your sister on the one hand and you and your mother on the other. Your sister will be hurt, you will be frustrated and he will feel vindicated.

Honest, some people think that's what life is about. Prove them wrong. Of course that is difficult, but if you love your sister you must suppress your instinct and not lash out the way you'd like to. That's what sets love apart from convenience.

[InsaneApache]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

This is good advice.

You won't like mine though.

I assume that all the parties concerned are over the age of majority? Yes? In that case, mother, sister or whatever are adults and made desicions as adults. In a nutshell, it has nowt to do with you. I see where you're at emotionally but if it were me I'd wind me neck in and mind me own business. Let it be.

[Northnovas]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

True be nice to her will help in the long run.

This is good advice.

You won't like mine though.

I assume that all the parties concerned are over the age of majority? Yes? In that case, mother, sister or whatever are adults and made desicions as adults. In a nutshell, it has nowt to do with you. I see where you're at emotionally but if it were me I'd wind me neck in and mind me own business. Let it be.

To add tell your Mom no more "loans". However, a grandchild is coming and she will want to be there and help and with a bum for a son-in-law money can't be trusted.
Buy supplies the baby needs and never give cash. That way she is there supporting her daughter and grandchild.

[Northnovas]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

True be nice to her will help in the long run.

This is good advice.

You won't like mine though.

I assume that all the parties concerned are over the age of majority? Yes? In that case, mother, sister or whatever are adults and made desicions as adults. In a nutshell, it has nowt to do with you. I see where you're at emotionally but if it were me I'd wind me neck in and mind me own business. Let it be.

To add tell your Mom no more "loans". However, a grandchild is coming and she will want to be there and help and with a bum for a son-in-law money can't be trusted.
Buy supplies the baby needs and never give cash. That way she is there supporting her daughter and grandchild.

[Craterus]

True be nice to her will help in the long run.



To add tell your Mom no more "loans". However, a grandchild is coming and she will want to be there and help and with a bum for a son-in-law money can't be trusted.
Buy supplies the baby needs and never give cash. That way she is there supporting her daughter and grandchild.

5 hour rewind?

[CrossLOPER]

5 hour rewind?

I noticed this too.

[Louis VI the Fat]

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

I still say Frags aims for this bloke's kneecaps.


Hey, what's the point of venting, eh? It's to talk nonsense with your mates about ripping somebody's head off with your bare hands and sucking out his brains through his eyesockets. Not with the intent of doing it, but just to vent. And be heard. That way, you can keep your cool in real life and do the sensible thing.

[Marius Dynamite]

Take him out for a pint and let him know how things go down in your family.

P.S. If they are married and having a child, your too late.. he knows how things go down... his way.

[Spartan198]

Are you confident that your sister's safe with this guy? That didn't seem to come up,and this kind of stress can have a bad effect on a pregnant woman.

Anyway,this guy sounds like a real lowlife,and I've found the best way to deal with that kind of person is to be direct. Not rude or violent,just direct. Try to stay as calm as possible and don't let your anger cloud your words. Frankly,if the guy's as immature as you say,he may just break down and start crying about it. My sister's ex-boyfriend was just like that and did the exact same thing when I set him straight for telling my grandmother to shut up.

But I would agree that you do try talking to your sister about it first,though,and attempt to let her try to settle the situation (the reason I inquired as to whether you thought she was safe around the guy).

[Fragony]

Well sis got baby, going to the hospital in a few hours, useless git pretty much useless to her but I probably would have as well. It's not a bad guy he's just useless but if the sis is happy so am I.