I seriously need some advice.

**LeftEyeNine** · 04-12-2008, 15:24

Originally Posted by Fragony

The guy is acting like a child when it doesn't go his way and that pisses me of he is 35 years old, sometimes I think he is mildly authistic.

Sorry to be taking this a bit harder at you but isn't he whom your sister chose on her very own will ?

So, where do you think the problem starts ?

**Fragony** · 04-12-2008, 15:44

Originally Posted by LeftEyeNine

Sorry to be taking this a bit harder at you but isn't he whom your sister chose on her very own will ?

So, where do you think the problem starts ?

No need to go easy on me it isn't like I am a barrel of subtlety. He didn't marry my mother, she is helping them to buy a house and the way that is done borders on moral blackmail, especially his mother has a hand of trying to make my mother feel guilty. House was too expensive and they start pushing my mother around it's completily shameless 'he already is so depressed if this doesn't work I don't know what he will do' (his brother killed himselve two years ago), he has debts he couldn't buy a house so he, and especially his mother should just shut up and stop trying to max out what they can get. It's disgusting. Add to that that it is one arrogant little weasle, the perfectly lovable wife of my brother was a 'commoner' to him he actually said that to my mother. He's an ass and I want to kick it. But I am going with Beirut and do nothing.

**Northnovas** · 04-12-2008, 18:25

Originally Posted by Beirut

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

True be nice to her will help in the long run.

Originally Posted by InsaneApache

This is good advice.

You won't like mine though.

I assume that all the parties concerned are over the age of majority? Yes? In that case, mother, sister or whatever are adults and made desicions as adults. In a nutshell, it has nowt to do with you. I see where you're at emotionally but if it were me I'd wind me neck in and mind me own business. Let it be.

To add tell your Mom no more "loans". However, a grandchild is coming and she will want to be there and help and with a bum for a son-in-law money can't be trusted.
Buy supplies the baby needs and never give cash. That way she is there supporting her daughter and grandchild.

**Craterus** · 04-12-2008, 18:36

Originally Posted by Northnovas

True be nice to her will help in the long run.

To add tell your Mom no more "loans". However, a grandchild is coming and she will want to be there and help and with a bum for a son-in-law money can't be trusted.
Buy supplies the baby needs and never give cash. That way she is there supporting her daughter and grandchild.

5 hour rewind?

**CrossLOPER** · 04-12-2008, 19:49

Originally Posted by Craterus

5 hour rewind?

I noticed this too.

**LeftEyeNine** · 04-12-2008, 21:43

Originally Posted by Fragony

No need to go easy on me it isn't like I am a barrel of subtlety. He didn't marry my mother, she is helping them to buy a house and the way that is done borders on moral blackmail, especially his mother has a hand of trying to make my mother feel guilty. House was too expensive and they start pushing my mother around it's completily shameless 'he already is so depressed if this doesn't work I don't know what he will do' (his brother killed himselve two years ago), he has debts he couldn't buy a house so he, and especially his mother should just shut up and stop trying to max out what they can get. It's disgusting. Add to that that it is one arrogant little weasle, the perfectly lovable wife of my brother was a 'commoner' to him he actually said that to my mother. He's an ass and I want to kick it. But I am going with Beirut and do nothing.

Still that ass or whateverelsecallID you rightfully want to burst your anger through is the one that your sister chose to be her man for a lifetime. If there is a mistake, I personally take this for the starting point of all.

Women need counselling at times (a bit of sexist view but, well, here is mine), but it is obviously not yet. Things need to get visibly screwed up to take some counselling action (that varies from one individaul to another) so as not to be trashed with the eternal whining of a woman, which also prevents you from acting prematurely.

Glad to hear that you'll keep it cool. Vent here if need be, keep that up.

**rotorgun** · 04-15-2008, 20:50

First of all, what do you feel is the right approach? You know your sister much better than he does. How is she likely to respond by your telling her your feelings about this man?

I think that it might also be a matter for your Mother to discuss with her, as her word may have more authority with your sister. Women have a way of cutting to the chase when it comes to discussing something like this. Men are often too soft on them to get to the point.

**Louis VI the Fat** · 04-16-2008, 00:54

Originally Posted by Beirut

I think you're screwed. If he's a deadbeat - he's a deadbeat. Nothing you can do about it except learn to deal with it. You just have to differentiate between your sister and him. Be nice to her, be useless with him.

As for pounding him; you can't lay a hand on him as long as he doesn't lay a hand on anyone in your family first. You might win the battle but you'd lose the war.

I still say Frags aims for this bloke's kneecaps.

Hey, what's the point of venting, eh? It's to talk nonsense with your mates about ripping somebody's head off with your bare hands and sucking out his brains through his eyesockets. Not with the intent of doing it, but just to vent. And be heard. That way, you can keep your cool in real life and do the sensible thing.

**Marius Dynamite** · 04-22-2008, 21:32

Take him out for a pint and let him know how things go down in your family.

P.S. If they are married and having a child, your too late.. he knows how things go down... his way.

**Spartan198** · 04-26-2008, 06:05

Are you confident that your sister's safe with this guy? That didn't seem to come up,and this kind of stress can have a bad effect on a pregnant woman.

Anyway,this guy sounds like a real lowlife,and I've found the best way to deal with that kind of person is to be direct. Not rude or violent,just direct. Try to stay as calm as possible and don't let your anger cloud your words. Frankly,if the guy's as immature as you say,he may just break down and start crying about it. My sister's ex-boyfriend was just like that and did the exact same thing when I set him straight for telling my grandmother to shut up.

But I would agree that you do try talking to your sister about it first,though,and attempt to let her try to settle the situation (the reason I inquired as to whether you thought she was safe around the guy).

**Fragony** · 04-26-2008, 10:02

Well sis got baby, going to the hospital in a few hours, useless git pretty much useless to her but I probably would have as well. It's not a bad guy he's just useless but if the sis is happy so am I.