Originally Posted by Old Geezer:
If they can mount a cannon on the back of an elephant why not be able to carry a cannon up?
Exactly such a thing was tried in 1521 by Rufus the Unremarkable during the Siege of McGuffin Castle. Staring out at McGuffin's highly desirable walls and cannon towers, Rufus thought to match that high ground during his approach. Collecting lumber and building an "old fashioned" siege tower with a gunpowder twist, Rufus went so far as to adapt the design to account for the recoil of the cannon he intended to mount atop it, so that none could accuse him of neglecting minor details.
After devoting exhausting days of hard and dedicated work on the part of his peasants, Rufus finally rolled across the battlefield, for all to see him and his big gun.
As later recounted by Elroy, a bombardier in McGuffin Castle that day... "It was the most ridiculous, beautiful, and inspiring vision I ever laid eyes upon. For while I knew it would be a shame to destroy such an accomplishment, I knew it would be a greater shame to pass up such an amazing opportunity. I mean, usually we have to carefully adjust for range to hit a field gun from here, but that maniac up there on that thing so brittle... all we had to do was aim for the middle and let loose to take a cannon from the enemy."
Rufus' legacy is well-remembered in the annals of artillery, and while new lumber had to be found to build his casket, his descendants have a supply of toothpicks that lasts til this day.
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