Lol, what the **** was Richard Quest doing?

[Adrian II]

OK, so CNN's Richard Quest has been arrested in the middle of the night in NY's Central Park whilst carrying a plastic bag with metamphetamine in his pocket. That was the story this morning.

New reports have it that Quest also had a rope tied around his neck that connected to his penis and a sex toy stuffed in his shoe.

What for? I just can't connect the dots here. I must've missed the latest trends in homosexual fun in the U.S. or at least in New York.

Someone please fill me in.

[CrossLOPER]

John Oliver must be cracking up.

[Adrian II]

John Oliver must be cracking up.

Who isn't?

I mean, I've always liked Quest as a reporter and I will still like him after this. Who doesn't love a horsey Brit with a gravelly voice, impeccable manners and a naughty sparkle in his eye? His personal quirks are his own business. We all have them. But it is a different thing to have them hauled out and scrutinized in public. It's like Hugh Grant being caught with 400 lbs hooker, getting arrested and seeing his story all over the papers next day with his mugshot next to it. His mates have been laughing for years after that happened.

Actually the real humour is in the fact that, like Grant, Quest will have to face the massive indignation of the 'righteous' middle classes, vindictive to the core because they are too afraid or lazy to follow their own hearts and live the life like he does. He is going to have to face them somehow and manage to say 'I deeply regret blah blah' without breaking into uproarious laughter and adding: 'And furthermore, ladies and gentlemen, you can all go [peep] yourselves for this is my life, not yours, and you're all just [peeping] jealous'.

I wonder how Quest will pull it off.

But anyhow, what was he doing with the rope??

[Mikeus Caesar]

What intrigues me is the sex toy (sex toys according to wiki) stuffed in his shoe. Much more bizarre than the rope.

[Lemur]

Oh, sure, get all worked up you hypocrites. Like you've never gotten disoriented in a public park with a rope around your neck and your scrotum, and a bag of meth in your pocket. Go ahead, act like it's never happened to you. I think we've all been there, haven't we?

Haven't we?

Guys?

Um, never mind. I was just -- eh, just kidding. It's a joke, get it? Hahaha, what a perv he is. Silly reporter!

[Adrian II]

[/I]

Go ahead, act like it's never happened to you. I think we've all been there, haven't we?

Haven't we?

Guys?

Since when are we all filthy rich, famous to the point of being 'immediately recognizable' anywhere from Punta Arenas to Leningrad, and part of a twenty-four hour perverted madhouse called world wide cable news that makes Las Vegas look like a nunnery?

I guess we're not, huh?

But boy, we're up there when it comes to judging those who are.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Actually the real humour is in the fact that, like Grant, Quest will have to face the massive indignation of the 'righteous' middle classes, vindictive to the core because they are too afraid or lazy to follow their own hearts and live the life like he does. He is going to have to face them somehow and manage to say 'I deeply regret blah blah' without breaking into uproarious laughter and adding: 'And furthermore, ladies and gentlemen, you can all go [peep] yourselves for this is my life, not yours, and you're all just [peeping] jealous'.

I guess the middle class in the Netherlands must be different from the middle class on this side of the pond.



CR

[Gregoshi]

Somewhere, out there in the big ol' world right now, Gregoshi has shed a tear of joy and pride, and has no idea why.

This explains why I had to reach for a tissue during that Iron Man movie commercial. I mean, the movie looks cool and all, but not to become so emotional.

I must've missed the latest trends in homosexual fun in the U.S. or at least in New York.

Oh dear, he'll never be able to keep his story straight with the police.

But anyhow, what was he doing with the rope??

He wanted to be well hung?

Unreliable sources have it that Quest had 'a dildo stuffed in his boot like a Derringer'.

He had to have had a limp.

[Papewaio]

He wanted to be well hung?

Dammit! Beat me by this ! ! much

I wonder if he got roped into it.

He does have a few knotty questions to answer.

I'm sure all the business men who have used his tips over the years feel bonded to his advice.

[Don Corleone]

The rope...

Well, you've asked several times Adrian, so I guess you're genuinely curious. The rope is for asphixiation. Supposed to make orgasms more intense. Now the sex toy... IN THE SHOE... that's a new one...

I don't really care what people do in the privacy of their own homes. But to my mind, it's the second part of that phrase that's important.

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

asphixiation

aß fixation?
.

[Adrian II]

The rope is for asphixiation. Supposed to make orgasms more intense.

I know, but does your penis breathe?

I'll grant you and Gregoshi that the meth head sex ninja from CNN was walking a tightrope and got his as phyxed. But that still leaves the matter of his penis dangling.

[lars573]

The rope...

Well, you've asked several times Adrian, so I guess you're genuinely curious. The rope is for asphixiation. Supposed to make orgasms more intense. Now the sex toy... IN THE SHOE... that's a new one...

I don't really care what people do in the privacy of their own homes. But to my mind, it's the second part of that phrase that's important.

Something tells me he was on his was to said privacy. Just got caught while cutting through central park.


*note self* When going to NYC sex party, never cut though central park.

[Craterus]

Someone please fill me in.

Is that a euphemism?

[Pannonian]

OK, so CNN's Richard Quest has been arrested in the middle of the night in NY's Central Park whilst carrying a plastic bag with metamphetamine in his pocket. That was the story this morning.

New reports have it that Quest also had a rope tied around his neck that connected to his penis and a sex toy stuffed in his shoe.

What for? I just can't connect the dots here. I must've missed the latest trends in homosexual fun in the U.S. or at least in New York.

Someone please fill me in.

There was a Tory MP in the 90s who was found dead, half naked with a plastic bag over his head. An orange was involved somewhere.

Here he is: Stephen Milligan.

The discovery of his corpse in what was an unequivocal case of auto-erotic asphyxiation, combined with self-bondage and cross-dressing, led to a greater public awareness of auto-erotic asphyxiation and self-bondage and their risks. A bizarre detail of his death, which was the subject of much comment and speculation at the time, was that he was found to have had an orange segment in his mouth at the time of his death.

[Rhyfelwyr]

There was a Tory MP in the 90s who was found dead, half naked with a plastic bag over his head. An orange was involved somewhere.

lol, why is it always the Conservatives/Republicans?

[Watchman]

They're the repressed ones. The other guys can have a ball more or less openly without alienating their voters too much.

[Vladimir]

They're the repressed ones. The other guys can have a ball more or less openly without alienating their voters too much.

Hate to agree but I believe that's true. Not quite sure what that says about me though.

[Adrian II]

The pieces of the puzzle are slowly, um, coming together.

Our 'instantly recognizable' (CNN website) hero was on his way back from a party to a hotel, together with a male companion. They hadn't used any meth but probably meant to do so at the hotel. Quest's prancing about Central Park with his thing on a string connected to his neck was not an instance of sexual asphyxiation, but foreplay to the tying off of his genitalia later on, a process which, in conjunction with a liberal dose of metamphetamine, prolongs the erection for a considerable time.

Case closed.

Next!