Also I think I had an effect with giving AI a small tribute every turn. In my makedonia campaign in 0.81 I gave Seleucids 100 gold as a regular tribute for maybe about 100 turns and had land border with them for a good while until they attacked. Everytime the tribute would end I extended it for another 30 turns or so, until one day I forgot about it and of course they attacked.
Well I can't be exactly 100% sure if the tribute made any difference but it's worth a shot. Just remember to keep the money rolling all the time, occasional gifts probably won't do it. It's plausible that the AI doesn't want to attack you as it sees that it will lose income by doing that.
Of course, as Wigfert said a really good defence is often the best defence :)
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