A New EB Tavern

[Hooahguy]

*thread dies*

*hooahguy gives CPR*

ok, joke time!

what is the shortest book in history?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

the list of 20th century italian war heroes.

what is missing from rap?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

the "c" in front of it

[Megas Methuselah]

Man, I'm going to re-use that rap joke for the rest of my life! Btw, I'm not going to bother to give you the credit for coming up with it, Hooahguy.

[Hooahguy]

thanks.....

[TWFanatic]

I actually sat their for a while asking myself, "What's c-rap?" before it dawned on me.

[Hooahguy]

lol

another one, but you will only get it if you drink vodka, i guess.

a man is very drunk. as hes staggering through the streets, he kicks a bottle over and out comes a genie. the genie will grant him one wish. the man says, "i want to pee out vodka instead of urine."
the genie grants it and behold, he pees out the best vodka hes ever tasted!
he runs home to his wife, and she cant belive the story.
he pees in a glass and she agrees that its the best vodka ever.
so evrey night he got out 2 glasses and pees in them, and they drank it.
one night he only takes out 1 glass.
his wife says "why did you only take out 1 glass? i want some too."
he replies, "because tonight, honey, youre drinking out of the bottle."

[General Appo]

Shame indeed.

Man it´s hot here, much too hot to be outside, and much too hot be inside. Stupid heat.

[Hax]

I have a fan. An electrical one. All hail me!

[General Appo]

Oy, I too have a fan, but woe me, for it does not provide the cold air I so desperately need. Why you ask? Because I´ve forgotten to turn it on sillies. *goes to turn on the fan*

[Megas Methuselah]

*shivers*
I'm c-c-c-cold.

[General Appo]

At least CIA aren´t secretely flying refugees from your backyard. Honestly, I live next to a airport where armed CIA agents previously flew a couple of middle-eastern refugees that were possible criminals, either back to their own countries for torture and stuff or to Guantanamo for... well, torture and stuff.
Now they ain´t officialy doing that anymore, but then I must ask you, who the hell is using a big ass plane 02.00 waking me from my sleep!? The airport ain´t got any flights then, the goverment´s plane is a really small plane that barely makes any noise, and the airport doesn´t respond to mails or phonecalls regarding those flights (honestly, I phoned and talked to them, they just got me some boss who said "I don´t know what you´re talking about" no matter what I said).
Stupid CIA, waking me in the middle of the night. If they have to illegally move refugees can´t they at least do it quitely without waking the entire neighbourhood?

[Megas Methuselah]

Move to Canada.

[General Appo]

Holy shit, the Tavern was this - close to dying. Curse you Metusl No my ineternet is diung

Edit: Sorry for that, my dad shouted "I´m turning of internet" so I was in quite a hurry to finish my sentence before internet died. It´s up now at any rate.

[Hax]

Ahahahahah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkps...g.org/page/18/

Ahahahahahah

[Megas Methuselah]

[General Appo]

WOHAHAHHAHA!!

I can just imagine that happening in a real war. Hell, that´s what Rommel should have done, fill the entire Normady coast with that kinda mud. Hehe, visualise Saving Private Ryan but with the soldiers stucking in the mud on the beach.

[The Celtic Viking]

Ahahahahah!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rkps...g.org/page/18/

Ahahahahahah

Hah! If the Germans had only been smart enough to make their beaches like that in 1944, D-Day might've ended more favourably for them.

[General Appo]

Great minds think alike ey? Just that mine thinks a bit faster.

[The Celtic Viking]

I'd rather say post quicker. When I'm about to say something about a historic event, I always (automatically) read a little about it before I actually hit the post button. It was when I was doing this that you snuck in your post.

[General Appo]

Okay... I still prefer the "I think faster" explanation. Sounds more... realistic.

[The Celtic Viking]

If I didn't know better, I'd say you're picking a fight with me. That's a bad idea, you know. I advice you to step back, or more than just rules will be broken.

[General Appo]

What else around here can be broken? Your big ego? Or maybe your enourmous nose. If you wanna a fight, I´m ready for it. Just com git it ya pussy!

[Havok.]

Relax....

[The Celtic Viking]

That's it!

*Picks up a bottle, finish it and then smash it against the table*

No one says I've got a big nose!

*Lunges at Appo and stabs him in the stomach*

[Hax]

/me drops a nuclear bomb onto the Tavern.

Now that you are all mutated creatures, I need volunteers to playtest my awesome mod.

[General Appo]

Me not got time!

TCV thinks he stabs Appo, but since he is quite drunk he actually stabs Havok who is attempting to meddle peace between everyone. Got what he deserved damn pacifist. Anywat, Appo is quick to sieze the opportunity and picks up a chair, and smashes it against TVC´s back. Well actually, it´s more the back that smashed against the chair, but whatever. Appo than proceeds with his drink and ponders long and deep upon the meaning of cheese.

[The Celtic Viking]

*Licks the blood off the bottle*

Mmm, spaci... pasiv... pacivist's blood's the best there is. *Hick* Now for some more... alce... alco... drink.

*Collapses on the floor*

ZzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzzZZZzzz...

[TWFanatic]

This is why we should serve orange juice...

[Megas Methuselah]

Relax...

YEAH!!! FREEEEEEEEEEEE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIRD!!!!

*Takes a big sip of orange juice and sings*

Won't you flyyyyy hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, oh freeeeeeeeeeee biiiiiiiiiiiiiiird!!!

*starts slamming invisible, make-believe guitar*

[General Appo]

This is why we should serve orange juice...

I thought we did? *trips on TCV and breaks neck against bar*

[The Celtic Viking]

*Wakes up*

Oi! *Looks at Appo's body*

You allright, mate? Mate...?

Bartender! This man needs more booze, stat! But get some for me first, will ya? And some aspirin, I'm dying from thirst and headache.