Parenthood and Gaming: Compatability?

[Guillaume le Batard]

Hey all!

My wife and I are expecting our first kid in a few weeks. We're very excited and nervous.

We're also (finally) investing in another high-end computer after several years of making do, and will have the ability to play M:TW 2 and presumably E:TW (and some other games I've had my eye on for awhile).

My question is directed towards any parents out there who are addicted to strategy games or gaming in general. Should I simply hang up my general's hat for the time being and resign myself to battling dirty diapers/nappies in the name of good parenting? I'm assuming I won't have time to indulge in one of my favorite hobbies for many many months (or years) to come.

I know a lot of young parents, but none of them are gamers, so any insights, tips an tricks, or AARs would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

Guillaume

[Lemur]

Hmm, I can only relate my experience, so for what it's worth:

• Forget about MMOs. There's no way you can square the time commitment with parenting.
• Short hits are good. Games that you can save and quit at any moment will be your friends.
• Strategy games can be played, but in stages, over many nights. You ain't gonna play a Total War game for twelve hours straight for a long time.

Hope this is helpful ...

[Adrian II]

Ignore your kids till they are about eight or nine and start to talk, read books and play computer games. Enjoy those precious first hours of sociable gaming, the innocence and exhilaration of discovery, the pitter-patter of little fingers on the keyboard. Because within a year or two they will beat the living crap out of you in every online scenario.

And that's the truth.


*father of two*

[Xiahou]

I have no kids as of yet, but I don't see where having one precludes any gaming- certainly not early on. I actually used to play WoW with a guy who would take afk breaks to change/feed their newborn. I'm not saying that's how you should handle things, but it can be done.

[Don Corleone]

Lemur's got the gist of it. You want games you can play in 1/2 hour or less. You're going to be surprised by just how great Spider solitaire is. I do still occassionally play MTW, but I rarely have the time to get past 1120 or so.

I never even tried to play World of Warcraft or anything like that. I just wouldn't know where to begin. Aside from which, Mrs. Corleone would definitely have something to say about it, and I like breathing.

[Vladimir]

Lemur's got the gist of it. You want games you can play in 1/2 hour or less. You're going to be surprised by just how great Spider solitaire is. I do still occassionally play MTW, but I rarely have the time to get past 1120 or so.

I never even tried to play World of Warcraft or anything like that. I just wouldn't know where to begin. Aside from which, Mrs. Corleone would definitely have something to say about it, and I like breeding.

Yea, I'm a horrible person.

[HoreTore]

Why not do it like the austrians?

Lock the bugger up for 24 years. Problem solved

[Tamur]

Short and easily-saveable at a moment's notice is very, very good.

Also, I the amount & placement of gaming time depends almost entirely on the rhythm of your household. I've been through it with four kids, and with each it's different. How easily the child goes to sleep, whether your wife breastfeeds or not, how susceptible your wife is to the soporific baby effect , whether your wife thinks it's peachy for you to play rather than do the dishes/laundry, whether she herself is a gamer, etc etc.

The main idea is, pick games that allow you to be incredibly flexible with when and how long you play. MMOs are absolutely antithetical to this, so as Lemur said, don't even try them.

Oh, and congratulations and good luck to you!

[Tribesman]

Forget about MMOs. There's no way you can square the time commitment with parenting.

MMOs ????even a small multiplayer game can get to be impossible .

[Husar]

Ignore your kids till they are about eight or nine[...]

I would like you to expand on this.
As it is it sounds rather harsh and I have to try hard not to make it sound cruel.


I guess Lemur has some good advice, not like I have any kids but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about them. (been one myself before as well!)

[Adrian II]

I would like you to expand on this.

It's simple really.

Just pretend they're not there and then they won't bother you in the least. They aren't there anyway, as humans I mean, only clinically but not consciously. Of course the critters need food and cuddling and all that, but if you want that done there are always some of these characters around to take care of it, I forgot what they're called. Women, that's it. Aha.

Now, when they are around the age of nine or so (the kids I mean, not the women), there will come a glorious morning when they come down the stairs all washed and dressed, say 'Good morning', sit down, eat breakfast, pull your sleeve and - here it comes - demand to discuss the news with you.

As of that moment, you are a father.

[Vladimir]

It's simple really.

Just pretend they're not there and then they won't bother you in the least. They aren't there anyway, as humans I mean, only clinically but not consciously. Of course the critters need food and cuddling and all that, but if you want that done there are always some of these characters around to take care of it, I forgot what they're called. Women, that's it. Aha.

Now, when they are around the age of nine or so (the kids I mean, not the women), there will come a glorious morning when they come down the stairs all washed and dressed, say 'Good morning', sit down, eat breakfast, pull your sleeve and - here it comes - demand to discuss the news with you.

As of that moment, you are a father.

I wonder what Holland was like in the 50's. Oh wait...

[Beirut]

Parenthood and gaming you say?

Yeah... let me tell you a story.

Back in August we get Otis, a six-week old Blonde Lab. I didn't want the dog but the kids wanted it big time. "When can we bring Otis home?" That's all I hear for weeks. Fine, we spend the $350 and bring the puppy home.

Puppy grows up, and six months later the kids don't find Otis as cute as before and Otis now exists as a child-neglected dog.

A few weeks ago I'm in the kitchen and my 10 year-old is sitting on the couch playing with something. I go over and see. "What's that?" I ask. "It's a Nintendo DSD." (Or whatever.) "Wha'cha playing," I ask. "' "It's a dog game," she says, "you have a dog and you have to take care of it. You have to walk it and feed it and everything."

Excuse me?

So the kids won't walk Otis and barely ever feed him, but now they have these bloody DSD Gameboy games with digital dogs (blonde labs!) and they walk them and feed them and you can even use a special pen that comes with the thing to pat the ******* dog! You can even talk to the game and tell the dog to sit. ARRRRGGH!

So, a few night ago, I'm back in the kitchen, the two kids are on the floor patting and feeding and walking the digital dog, and Otis is lying behind them looking as sad as a labrador possibly can. And that's pretty sad.

Parent's and gaming? Prepare to go insane.

(I told them they have to play the dog game where I can't see or hear them because I will throw that bloody gameboy right out the window the next time I see them patting a digital dog while the real one is lying at their feet neglected and unwalked.)

[Vladimir]

Axe time.

[Adrian II]

I will throw that bloody gameboy right out the window the next time [..]

You mean you haven't done that yet?

[Vladimir]

You mean you haven't done that yet?

I'd use the splitting maul from the Firewood thread. Two words my kids are going to learn: Daddy's mean!

[Adrian II]

I'd use the splitting maul from the Firewood thread. Two words my kids are going to learn: Daddy's mean!

Yeah, I remember that maul. It looked like you could split an average kid in two clean halves with that thing.

[Vladimir]

Yeah, I remember that maul. It looked like you could split an average kid in two clean halves with that thing.

Well he can keep the kids. Perhaps it's best to use the DS as a tool to teach responsibility and humane behavior.

Humane, not civilized mind you.

[Rhyfelwyr]

The first few years might be tricky. You will just have to be firm but fair. Tell your wife that you can't change the nappy since you are in the middle of a battle, but agree to take care of it the next two times.

Once the baby gets to 4 or 5, give it a Game Boy or something simple and it will stay quiet (well at least I would if I was a 5 year old). And then once its older it can play more advanced games and as long as its doesn't steal your PC then everyones happy.

[Reverend Joe]

As a child of the modern nightmare, I feel obliged to impart the following:

There is no reason whatsoever to bring video games, or computers in general, into your child's life.They will do nothing but distract you from what is important, i.e. the sack of screaming meat that shall soon lay before you. As unappealing as it may be, give it the attention it deserves. And the other thing you have to remember is that it will turn out weird, no matter what. Do not blame yourself. It is at least partly the fault of the sack of meat. I, myself, was one of the worst children imaginable, but I turned out far better than my parents could have ever expected.

But, anyway, about the video games: forget all about them. They are ancillary. If you get a chance, go ahead, but remember that you have dedicated yourself to the primary purpose of life: passing on your genes. And what's more, since you are human, you just might be able to pass on parts of what's in your mind as well.

Good luck.

Edit: I just want to add my opinion on video games... keep them the hell away from your kid. All they do is distract the kid from real life.

[Beirut]

I just asked my kid what that stupid dog game is called... Nintendogs. Can you believe it?

Wiki even has it listed, look at this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendogs

I could scream.

[Reverend Joe]

I just asked my kid what that stupid dog game is called... Nintendogs. Can you believe it?

Wiki even has it listed, look at this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendogs

I could scream.

Beirut.

Smash that *darn* gaming system with a *freakin* sledgehammer and throw your kids out into the yard with a soccer ball or something. Get them the hell outside now.

[Adrian II]

I just asked my kid what that stupid dog game is called... Nintendogs. Can you believe it?

Wiki even has it listed, look at this - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendogs

I could scream.

Beirut, I take it all back. About the maul, that was just a joke. Forget it.

Sit down, buddy, relax, and brea-eathe out.. there you go. Now, get the kids a nice glass of limonade to divert their attention from that fu silly game, and talk to them. They'll be reasonable, you'll see.

[Tribesman]

Puppy grows up, and six months later the kids don't find Otis as cute as before and Otis now exists as a child-neglected dog.

Beirut , only buy your kids pets that are tasty .
The moment they neglect it cook it .

[ICantSpellDawg]

I have some great games for you to play:

Pokemon (one of my all-time top 2 game franchises)
Pikmin (the same guys who made mario, zelda, pokemon-engineering for kids)
Zelda (any one of the games)
Age of Empires (responsible for my obsession with ancient cultures)\

It will get you into being a dad.

(i wrote this post about games for kids before reading the title)

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Beirut , only buy your kids pets that are tasty .
The moment they neglect it cook it .

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_cuisine

[Guillaume le Batard]

Thanks for the great feedback... and Beruit, my wife and I both laughed out loud at your tale of utter frustration. Classic.

[Samurai Waki]

Well, with one baby you can probably find time here and there to do the occasional game. As with my luck, having twins, I've forgone the gaming altogether and get some strategy relief if I can balance my time to get a snippet of whats going on online.

[Papewaio]

I play RTW very occasionally and most of the time it is auto-resolve on the battles (unless I want to kill a heir or leader).

Kids suck up time and you will need extra sleep to cope with their irregular sleeping patterns and knack of waking up every couple of hours and then they get up fresh faced in the morning long before you are ready. I hear that the teenage years is when you get that revenge.

Trying to get some time into paint minatures... no.

Console games are a blessing, except when he wanders in from playing with the Aunts and wants to take over Daddy or Uncles Rainbow Six operative. At two he can make the gun go bang. I'm sure at ten I will be hiding from him in cover and spray and pray to beat as he deftly picks me off with a pistol snipe.

So anything that has quicksave and can be stopped and packed quickly are good.

And it is best if you get them outdoors and playing games they like and exhaust them if you want them nice and sleepy at night.

[Tribesman]

Mars , did you miss the word "Tasty" in my post ?