Parenthood and Gaming: Compatability?

[Guillaume le Batard]

Hey all!

My wife and I are expecting our first kid in a few weeks. We're very excited and nervous.

We're also (finally) investing in another high-end computer after several years of making do, and will have the ability to play M:TW 2 and presumably E:TW (and some other games I've had my eye on for awhile).

My question is directed towards any parents out there who are addicted to strategy games or gaming in general. Should I simply hang up my general's hat for the time being and resign myself to battling dirty diapers/nappies in the name of good parenting? I'm assuming I won't have time to indulge in one of my favorite hobbies for many many months (or years) to come.

I know a lot of young parents, but none of them are gamers, so any insights, tips an tricks, or AARs would be greatly appreciated.

Cheers,

Guillaume

[Lemur]

Hmm, I can only relate my experience, so for what it's worth:

• Forget about MMOs. There's no way you can square the time commitment with parenting.
• Short hits are good. Games that you can save and quit at any moment will be your friends.
• Strategy games can be played, but in stages, over many nights. You ain't gonna play a Total War game for twelve hours straight for a long time.

Hope this is helpful ...

[Meneldil]

Hmm, I can only relate my experience, so for what it's worth:

• Forget about MMOs. There's no way you can square the time commitment with parenting.
• Short hits are good. Games that you can save and quit at any moment will be your friends.
• Strategy games can be played, but in stages, over many nights. You ain't gonna play a Total War game for twelve hours straight for a long time.

Hope this is helpful ...

Though I'm not a parent, I do disagree here.

Back when I played WoW, I knew (and still know) a lot of parent that played WoW and/or other MMORPG's.

Thing is, you have to be careful with it. While some of them were undoubtedly good parents (as in, only playing at night, 2 or 3 times a week, and being ready to stop playing whenever was needed), some others where hardcore no-lifers, and I couldn't stop thinking "what the hell is your kid doing if you spend 10 hours a day working and then come back only to play that darn game ? Do you even remember that you actually have a child ?".

I seriously wanted to slap those in the face.

[Adrian II]

Ignore your kids till they are about eight or nine and start to talk, read books and play computer games. Enjoy those precious first hours of sociable gaming, the innocence and exhilaration of discovery, the pitter-patter of little fingers on the keyboard. Because within a year or two they will beat the living crap out of you in every online scenario.

And that's the truth.


*father of two*

[Xiahou]

I have no kids as of yet, but I don't see where having one precludes any gaming- certainly not early on. I actually used to play WoW with a guy who would take afk breaks to change/feed their newborn. I'm not saying that's how you should handle things, but it can be done.

[Don Corleone]

Lemur's got the gist of it. You want games you can play in 1/2 hour or less. You're going to be surprised by just how great Spider solitaire is. I do still occassionally play MTW, but I rarely have the time to get past 1120 or so.

I never even tried to play World of Warcraft or anything like that. I just wouldn't know where to begin. Aside from which, Mrs. Corleone would definitely have something to say about it, and I like breathing.

[Vladimir]

Lemur's got the gist of it. You want games you can play in 1/2 hour or less. You're going to be surprised by just how great Spider solitaire is. I do still occassionally play MTW, but I rarely have the time to get past 1120 or so.

I never even tried to play World of Warcraft or anything like that. I just wouldn't know where to begin. Aside from which, Mrs. Corleone would definitely have something to say about it, and I like breeding.

Yea, I'm a horrible person.

[HoreTore]

Why not do it like the austrians?

Lock the bugger up for 24 years. Problem solved

[Tamur]

Short and easily-saveable at a moment's notice is very, very good.

Also, I the amount & placement of gaming time depends almost entirely on the rhythm of your household. I've been through it with four kids, and with each it's different. How easily the child goes to sleep, whether your wife breastfeeds or not, how susceptible your wife is to the soporific baby effect , whether your wife thinks it's peachy for you to play rather than do the dishes/laundry, whether she herself is a gamer, etc etc.

The main idea is, pick games that allow you to be incredibly flexible with when and how long you play. MMOs are absolutely antithetical to this, so as Lemur said, don't even try them.

Oh, and congratulations and good luck to you!

[Husar]

Ignore your kids till they are about eight or nine[...]

I would like you to expand on this.
As it is it sounds rather harsh and I have to try hard not to make it sound cruel.


I guess Lemur has some good advice, not like I have any kids but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about them. (been one myself before as well!)

[Adrian II]

I would like you to expand on this.

It's simple really.

Just pretend they're not there and then they won't bother you in the least. They aren't there anyway, as humans I mean, only clinically but not consciously. Of course the critters need food and cuddling and all that, but if you want that done there are always some of these characters around to take care of it, I forgot what they're called. Women, that's it. Aha.

Now, when they are around the age of nine or so (the kids I mean, not the women), there will come a glorious morning when they come down the stairs all washed and dressed, say 'Good morning', sit down, eat breakfast, pull your sleeve and - here it comes - demand to discuss the news with you.

As of that moment, you are a father.

[Vladimir]

It's simple really.

Just pretend they're not there and then they won't bother you in the least. They aren't there anyway, as humans I mean, only clinically but not consciously. Of course the critters need food and cuddling and all that, but if you want that done there are always some of these characters around to take care of it, I forgot what they're called. Women, that's it. Aha.

Now, when they are around the age of nine or so (the kids I mean, not the women), there will come a glorious morning when they come down the stairs all washed and dressed, say 'Good morning', sit down, eat breakfast, pull your sleeve and - here it comes - demand to discuss the news with you.

As of that moment, you are a father.

I wonder what Holland was like in the 50's. Oh wait...

[Beirut]

Parenthood and gaming you say?

Yeah... let me tell you a story.

Back in August we get Otis, a six-week old Blonde Lab. I didn't want the dog but the kids wanted it big time. "When can we bring Otis home?" That's all I hear for weeks. Fine, we spend the $350 and bring the puppy home.

Puppy grows up, and six months later the kids don't find Otis as cute as before and Otis now exists as a child-neglected dog.

A few weeks ago I'm in the kitchen and my 10 year-old is sitting on the couch playing with something. I go over and see. "What's that?" I ask. "It's a Nintendo DSD." (Or whatever.) "Wha'cha playing," I ask. "' "It's a dog game," she says, "you have a dog and you have to take care of it. You have to walk it and feed it and everything."

Excuse me?

So the kids won't walk Otis and barely ever feed him, but now they have these bloody DSD Gameboy games with digital dogs (blonde labs!) and they walk them and feed them and you can even use a special pen that comes with the thing to pat the ******* dog! You can even talk to the game and tell the dog to sit. ARRRRGGH!

So, a few night ago, I'm back in the kitchen, the two kids are on the floor patting and feeding and walking the digital dog, and Otis is lying behind them looking as sad as a labrador possibly can. And that's pretty sad.

Parent's and gaming? Prepare to go insane.

(I told them they have to play the dog game where I can't see or hear them because I will throw that bloody gameboy right out the window the next time I see them patting a digital dog while the real one is lying at their feet neglected and unwalked.)

[Sarmatian]

It's simple really.

Just pretend they're not there and then they won't bother you in the least. They aren't there anyway, as humans I mean, only clinically but not consciously. Of course the critters need food and cuddling and all that, but if you want that done there are always some of these characters around to take care of it, I forgot what they're called. Women, that's it. Aha.

Won't work. Women today are smart. It's like they've got a mind of their own.

Apart from that, very good template.

[Caius]

You can also stay up all night playing RTW and taking care of the boy. The Lost Souls song may scare your baby, so whatever you do:
1)Take care of the baby
2)Take care of the army
3)Make sure he is fine
4)Make sure the army is fine
5)Make sure he has everything
6)Make sure you click the end turn button
And the list goes.