Leaving school

[Caius]

I had some "incidents" (I will explain) and I'm planning to leave school. Looks like it can be hard. I'm not really sure, but I don't have a lot to lose. How can I tell my parents that I want to leave?

[Ice]

I had some "incidents" (I will explain) and I'm planning to leave school. Looks like it can be hard. I'm not really sure, but I don't have a lot to lose. How can I tell my parents that I want to leave?

Care to elaborate a little bit why?

Although I personally don't really like this man, I find this quote very fitting:

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today”

Malcom X

I really am going to try to dissuade you from leaving school.

[Caius]

I am constantly being bullied at school.

Did you like school Ice?

[woad&fangs]

Ummm, don't you only have 1 year of school left? The choice here seems rather obvious to me

[Caius]

Ummm, don't you only have 1 year of school left? The choice here seems rather obvious to me

I can give the December exams.

[FactionHeir]

Bullying is tough. Any way you can get the counsellor, administration, police, parents involved to solve it if you already tried having a serious talk with them?

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

I was bullied from year 3 all the way through to year 8-9 when I left to come to Australia. Its tough, I kind of semi-regret not telling anyone (not really but thats just because I'm nuts (as in its highly likely that I'm bipolar and thus have massive paranoia issues)), but I'm with Ice on this one. You have one year left? If you think you're going to do well in your exams then you can't let some idiots mess up your future!!!

And as you seem pretty normal... talk to someone about it, counsellor or teacher would be best imo, but if you're serious about leaving school then talk to your parents.

Bear in mind that this isn't what I'd do... But I'm nuts, so listen to all the other people, like Ice, who actually know what they're doing!

[Sasaki Kojiro]

Do you own a baseball bat or something similar?

[Caius]

Do you own a baseball bat or something similar?

Tennis racket, but I'm afraid its too new to smash.

[Ice]

I am constantly being bullied at school.

Did you like school Ice?

Set an example, if you get my drift, and the bullying will be done. If you don't have the guts too, find a big burly guy, make friends with him, and everyone will leave you alone.

"A baseball bat is a great equalizer"

Yes, I do enjoy school. I'm out of the high school angst stage where I really hated school and I was just going through the motions. I really do appreciate higher education and what it's teaching me.

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

"A baseball bat is a great equalizer"

It is but on the other hand then you get into trouble... theres always a downside!

Set an example, if you get my drift, and the bullying will be done. If you don't have the guts too, find a big burly guy, make friends with him, and everyone will leave you alone.

This is really good advice, but if Caius is in his last year it could be too late for the example setting a la

The other thing that I'd like to know is what do your friends say about it Caius? Can't you rely on them? Just before I left things were actually looking up because my best mate was realy popular and he objected to my treatment!

[LeftEyeNine]

Ah. Bullying. I was being bullied too. I was a tiny kid around 1.30-40 metres tall and quite skinny during the time between 6th and 8th grades. That sure screws your days in school and puts up a serious pressure on you. However you shouldn't let it continue since you have come to a point where quitting your education would be more preferable.

Tell your parents about it this way. Mention why. Just act serious about it since parents may tend to say "hey come on, it just happens in school life"; depends on the personalities of your parents though.

I can absolutely understand how you're feeling about being bullied to an extent you can't seem to handle. However, the cost of quitting will be dear for sure in the long run and before sorting out what you can do besides quitting your education, I absolutely would like to see your bully problem to be solved rather than seeing a nice fellow Orgah like you quitting his school.

Don't quit. Talk to your parents in a serious manner. If they don't seem to understand, look for alternatives to tell about it. If you take alternative steps in case your parents don't take you serious, they'll be convinced that you're having this hard way. Leave your pride aside if you're taking asking for help because of bullying as a matter of pride; this is concerned with your very future directly.

We're listening. Keep the feedback up.

[Vuk]

Caius, please that what I say as advice from a friend. School can be hard, esp if you have people bullying you. Honestly though, the very best thing you can do is stay in school. When you are being bullied it is hard to know what to do, but the best advice I can give you is to not let them see if you are scared of them and get the authorities involved. Bullies count on people being afraid of them and afraid of being made fun of for going to the authorities. Do not let them scare you.
I hope for the best Cauis and I genuinely hope that you stay in school and continue with a good career.

Vuk

[Whacker]

Caius, you are a good kid

1. Do NOT give up. Period. Do NOT QUIT SCHOOL. PERIOD.

2. What kind of bullying? Have they threatened you with physical force, or actually used physical force on you? Is this more "social" bullying? Is it one person or many?

3. Talk to your parents first. Your parents should ALWAYS support you, period. I remember I had a few problems with this also when I was much younger, and my parents were rabid and tenacious in their support. Get them involved, and have them help you. They can involve the school leadership, police, etc... whomever is needed to help.

4. Strongly consider taking a martial art. No joke, this was one of the first things my dad made me do (in addition to all the other stuff my parents did) when they found out about it. Find a good school that will teach you actual self defense and application, not just how to do katas and those showy jump/flip kicks (which are utterly useless in a real fight) and is a "belt factory". It'll teach you how to defend yourself, get you in (better) shape, and most important of all it'll give you a sense of self-confidence. Just don't let it go to your head and don't go looking for fights. The purpose of strength is to help and provide support for yourself and others, not as a tool to climb over or beat on weaker people. You're a good kid, you already knew that anyway. A good school will teach you that force is a last resort and always try to resolve situations honorably, but if you have to fight then by god let em have it.

Best of luck

[Samurai Waki]

Depends on which country you live in, if you live outside of the US, I'd say stick with it. If you live in the US however, you are quite literally wasting your time (I quit. Got my GED and quickly got accepted into UCLA) American Highschools are a laughably a joke at best. However, I can't stress this to you enough, it takes motivation, I don't want to hear about you dilly dallying around, and not taking yourself towards higher pursuits and living in your parents basement until your 40 years old. It takes some real cojones to quit out of school and be able to be successful, but its a worthwhile adventure to piss your parents off.

[Mikeus Caesar]

Only quit school/stop bothering with education if you have a definitive plan beforehand. I've only gone ahead with not doing any more education (much to the annoyance of my parents) because i have plans for my future.

[Xehh II]

I left school when I was 16, best decision of my whole life, got to spend a year relaxing then I enrolled in a hospo course, doing what I love, I couldn't ask for a better outcome.
I used to get bullied all the time too, I just fought back, but I don't think that's a good idea, schools seem to think fighting back is worse than the actual bullying, especially when you break a bullies face.
Quiting school is good!

[Raz]

Bullying... Eh, find a way to handle it and persevere for the rest of your education. Having the words "DID NOT COMPLETE HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION" is kinda bad on a job application - Maybe just don't write it in upper-case, but still.... (edit:) Unless you have plans for say an apprenticeship, or some form of specialised extended education. E.g. electrician, car mechanic.

If all else fails, hit the gym, train ya muscles, then head one-on-one with your bullyier. Fight him. Win, then take it a touch too far by kicking him while he is down. You will be expelled, he would've learnt a lesson, your parents will understand why you lashed out, you would've dealt with the bullying PLUS left school PLUS people will remember you as the Kung-Fu Master who went down in a blaze of glory.
And I'm serious, this is real advice, no joke.

[Samurai Waki]

Bullying... Eh, find a way to handle it and persevere for the rest of your education. Having the words "DID NOT COMPLETE HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION" is kinda bad on a job application - Maybe just don't write it in upper-case, but still....

Perhaps this is the case in many other places, but as long as you get your equivalent in the US you can legally put yourself in as a Highschool graduate. Excepting the Marines, who for whatever reason will only take Highschool graduates, despite the pressure put on them from the other military branches, simply because they have no problem getting equivalent degreed recruits while the marine corps is suffering quite severely right now. And I never quite got the reasoning behind this either, if I had my equivalent and could be an Apache pilot, why on earth can't I be a Jarhead?

[Samurai Waki]

oops double post

[Viking]

Do you own a baseball bat or something similar?

Everyone owns a fist.

[Samurai Waki]

and if your 18 you can own a gun but violence begets violence. Just hire some mafiosos take care of your problem.

[Mithrandir]

Find very fun other things to do in the after school hours, social events preferably, so you'll have something to look forward to while in school.

School and the bullying taking place there will seem less important if you've got something else to think about and to look forward too.

[Viking]

Find very fun other things to do in the after school hours, social events preferably, so you'll have something to look forward to while in school.

School and the bullying taking place there will seem less important if you've got something else to think about and to look forward too.

Excusez-moi, bullying has a tendence of overshading the positive things in live and is some of the most destructive a human can experience.

[Andres]

Imho, getting bullied has much to do with lack of self-confidence. I'm absolutely no psychologist, but I've always had the impression that bullies smell lack of self-confidence and they seem to have a talent to find an easy target. Personally, I got bullied when I was in elementary school. It stopped when I hit a bully hard on the face

You're a very nice guy Caius, friendly, helpfull and always avoiding to hurt or upset other Orgah's That's good and you should definitely keep it that way

But in RL, sometimes, when confronted with certain individuals, you need to let go that peaceful attitude and you have to fight back. You can do it physically, but that really should be the last option. Use your tongue. And most importantly act like you don't care don't care about what the bully thinks or says about you. Always keep in mind that he's probably just a pathetic who needs to bully ohter people to get some attention. He's the one having a problem, not you.

And if you have to get physical, no need to worry about not being a martial artist. One well placed kick in a certain spot will do the trick. I know it's not heroic, but the bully will certainly think twice before ever bullying you again. Unless there are several of them. If you think hurting him will result in getting beaten up by a group of cowardly bullies, you shouldn't even consider the physical option. Talk to your parents, to your favourite teacher (don't worry about the "you're a traitor/coward"-crap of other classmates, it's nonsense, they are as afraid of the group of bullies as you are), and if things are really looking ugly, go to the police (we had a bunch of drug dealers in our peaceful and respected high school, they got expelled after one guy finally had the courage of going to the police, afterwards, we learned the teachers were as afraid of them as we were).

As for a long term solution, well, you know yourself best. If you think you're lacking self-confidence, then please, don't feel bad about it. At your age, it's normal. Other kids of your age are just pretending that they don't lack self-confidence.

Join a sportsclub (and make sure you pick a sport you'll like, so that you'll keep going), take part in social events, build up your stamina by running/cycling on a regular basis, buy some dumbbells and do some weightlifiting, get an interesting hobby that requires dedication and hard work to see results (seeing the result of long and hard work is satisfying and will give you a very good feeling)... Anything that builds up your self-confidence. Ask advice to your parents, an older friend or a teacher.

But don't quit school. School doesn't seem to be the problem. The bullies are. Quitting school is like letting them win. And you don't want a pathetic bunch of attention seekers ruining YOUR future now, do you? Screw them, you are Caius and you want to finish high school. It's your life, nobody, and certainly not some idiot bully, will force you to take a decision.

[Geoffrey S]

Quit school, don't quit school - whatever you choose it doesn't matter. People do fine both ways. What is important is that it's your own decision, made on your terms. At the moment it doesn't sound like that's the case, and making big decisions in these kind of situations is a very risky business.

You make the decision, don't let it make you.

[FactionHeir]

Fighting back...it works, but you shouldn't break anything, just make sure you hurt them bad enough and look angry enough to make them back off. Worked for me when I was bullied across several schools during my primary and secondary education. The bullies would end up rather wanting to be in my good graces instead.

One more thing:
If you quit school, you basically let the bully win. You don't want this, do you?

[Sigurd]

Don't quit school... Could you change schools if it is that bad?

When I was ... in school ... I had no problems with bullying.
I might have been bullying others.

I remember being called into a meeting where the topic was this small kid looking like a cartoon character. We used to call him Texas Kid because of his looks. It was never our intention to bully, but this was the way he percieved it. All it took was for a teacher to tell us: He doesn't like to be called Texas Kid, and we stopped.
Have you tried this approach?

[Raz]

Ahh, but you say yourself that your intention was not to bully...

[Quintus.JC]

Being bullied can be really tough, I think everybody at one time or another gets bullied. I was always a tall fella (5 ft 11 inches) in my secondary school, but there’re always some random prats that doesn’t seems to have anything better to do. I am rather gifted at football (Play for my own youth academy) and no-one in my year group gives me any trouble but the year 7 and 8s are less mature and likes to take advantage of my peaceful nature. I am an immigrant of Sino-Italian origin so that seems to be the reason. Talking to teachers doesn’t always solve the problem and some times you have to fight back in order to live in peace.

Considering that you only got one more year left then you really should stay Caius. Don’t let a couple of mindless idiot ruin your future.