Sorry, HoreTore

Looks like you're working your way through the "stages of grief"
Denial:
Anger:
Bargaining:
Depression
Acceptance:

It doesn't seem like it now, but you'll be a better man for having gone through this. I promise. Beirut speaks truth. The only way "out" is "through"; no shortcuts or work-arounds.

I'm 57, and been dumped, I guess, a dozen times, or more. It's never easy or fun. But I've learned something more about me (and about humans) every time. So it's never been a total loss.

Best of luck, man. You'll be fine, in time.