The "I got dumped" thread.

[pevergreen]

As long as you are sitting down and in Ventrilo, I guess its ok.

Whats better? Conquering the world and exterminating every single city, castle and executing every last prisoner.

Almost makes me want to finish a campaign...almost.

[Good Ship Chuckle]

I see....

Wait a minute, aren't we supposed to be giving advise to this heartbroken guy and not teasing our diabolical compulsions?

[HoreTore]

HoreTore,

My man, you're going to have to suffer like all of us have. It's a part of life and utterly unavoidable. Drink beer, talk to your friends, visit your mom, read a book, watch a movie, do anything that will rescue your mood if only for a moment. Those moments add up. You'll live through this, you might not want to, but you will.

Besides, in a few weeks/months/(preferably not) years, you'll be rounding third base with that honey from the coffee shop.

You're only 21, the highs and lows of your love live have barely begun.

Yeah, well...

It's 8 in the morning now, got back from work. Nobody home... Can't describe how that feeling was...

Trying to pick up the guts to pack a few things and drive away... I was stable a few hours at work, got my mind on other things(though most of the time spent wandering round like a zombie), but now I'm crushed again. Packing my stuff will no doubt be the hardest time so far in my life.

I still love her as much as I've always done. No doubt about that. I did send her a few messages with a rather sharp tone yesterday, I regret that more than anything. I have apologized for it, and I think she understands. The last thing I want is for her to hate me. I could never deal with that. Not now anyway.

Going back to mommy after I've packed. I'm not going to stay here, the only reason I lived here was because of her. She needs to live here more than I do. Not sure how long I'll be living with my family, but it'll probably be the better part of the summer, at least... Have to figure out my future again from scratch.

I may see her again tomorrow. Not sure if I should. Or what I should do if I do. Ah well, first things first...

[Beirut]

Hey, I'm not saying it's easy or fun or something that can be lightly dismissed. All I'm saying is that you've got no choice and you're going to have to muddle through as best you can.

If I could survive mine, you can survive yours. And though I never met another I loved as much, I did meet others I loved in different ways.

You're a man and this is part of it. To prove you're a man you've got to act like a man. Your heart may belong to her (for now) but your dignity is your own.

[Subedei]

Beer, friends, family, sports & travelling...everything that keeps ya head above the water & grabs your attention. Well, drink beer only with friends/family...NOT alone. It is more of a means to help talk about things you usally do not talk about.

Especially sports are good. I love to / have to swim, in case of a bigger emotional problems. Swimming helps your head to focus on the whats and whys me thinks. In case of very hard times...don`t swim in the sea/lakes/rivers, but in pools m8.

Good luck to you; Sub has been there once or twice, sometimes the ladies give us freakin`hard times...

[Andres]

What Beirut said

It's probably one of the hardest lessons you'll ever learn in life. It's part of growing up and becoming mature. You will be suffering for at least a few weeks, most likely a month or two, three. But that's ok, it's human.

But rest assured and remember this, while you are crawling through this awful period: there is light at the end of the tunnel. Plenty of it. And you will get there

[CountArach]

HoreTore man, this really sucks. I don't know what to say to you that will make it better, except that you will always have your buddies on this forum here to back you up whatever you do. Just remember that.

[Spartan198]

Sorry to hear, HoreTore.
It's reasons like this that being immune to human emotions is an advantage for me.

[naut]

Sorry to hear, HoreTore.
It's reasons like this that being immune to human emotions is an advantage for me.

That's what everyone thinks, until it happens.

[Caius]

sometimes the ladies give us freakin`hard times...

Thats wrong. Never called your lady five times with no luck?

[Samurai Waki]

I would rather die than not live passionately. And when you live like that, it means all the good times are great, and all the bad times are terrible and push you to your limits.

Good Advice All Around from these people. And the whole friends thing, doesn't work. Tried it before, and figured out I'd rather be hated than not know where I stand with them.

[Ice]

Sorry to hear, HoreTore.
It's reasons like this that being immune to human emotions is an advantage for me.

If you are immune to human emotions, then how can you feel sorry?



::Strokes Beard::

[Caius]

You will survive.

[Husar]

You will survive.

Indeed.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Don't know why I had to post this, maybe it will cheer you up mate.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

You will survive.

For posting that, you might not.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Kidding, of course.

[HoreTore]

Ah well. It's wednesday already, I'm feeling a bit better.

She says she still has a tiny hope. Right now, that's all I could ask for. I'm driving back tonight. Not sure how long I'll stay, but not longer than tomorrow.

The reasons for the break-up, what has happened over the last 6 months or so, are getting clearer to me. I have treated her like dirt. It hurts to say that, but it's true. I have been frustrated at my life, and I've taken it out on her. I haven't given her the attention she deserves, I've closed myself completely from her. And not being able to treat her the way I want to has made me even more frustrated... I don't think there was a way out of that evil circle besides this.

So what's next? I need to fix my life. I need to get rid of my frustration. I'll be staying in my hometown, and I think I'll be living here for some years, even if we should get back together eventually. Here, I have all my friends. Here, I'm popular. Where I lived with her, I knew noone. Well, I knew some people, but I didn't have any real friends there. I had colleagues, my gf's friends and so on. Here, I know everyone.


Oh, and thanks for supporting and listening to my rant everyone...

[Fragony]

Hope it works out, don't get me wrong I want you to suffer, but only in the backroom.

[HoreTore]

Hope it works out, don't get me wrong I want you to suffer, but only in the backroom.

Haha, that did cheer me up

[KukriKhan]

Sorry, HoreTore

Looks like you're working your way through the "stages of grief"
Denial:
Anger:
Bargaining:
Depression
Acceptance:

It doesn't seem like it now, but you'll be a better man for having gone through this. I promise. Beirut speaks truth. The only way "out" is "through"; no shortcuts or work-arounds.

I'm 57, and been dumped, I guess, a dozen times, or more. It's never easy or fun. But I've learned something more about me (and about humans) every time. So it's never been a total loss.

Best of luck, man. You'll be fine, in time.

[Privateerkev]

Sorry to hear your hurting.

I won't insult you by saying I know what your going through because I don't. But I have been hurt. I got dumped by someone I was with for 2 and a half years and it devastated me for a while. But what I found was that instead of trying to replace what I lost, I had to try to remove the need to fill that void in the first place. You have to love yourself. Only then will someone love you for you. Instead of making someone your whole life, you should find a partner to share your life with. And that means knowing yourself. Sounds like your on the right track and your getting good support and advice from people on here.

Good luck.

[edyzmedieval]

Hope it works out, don't get me wrong I want you to suffer, but only in the backroom.

I wonder how Frag reacts when he is dumped by his girlfriend.
The Ulysses Grant of Holland?

[Fragony]

Me being dumped ha

[pevergreen]

a few hours ago I would have thought the exact same thing.

Notch pever up for the first real "dump" he's had.

[naut]

Man that sucks pever.

[pevergreen]

lol. I guess.

It was odd...She never really said it...but...aaggh.

We didnt let go of each other until the end. I thought up until a few minutes ago she still liked me but I have nothing in the way of messages.

She said it wasnt me, it was her family. They do have major stuff going on. Even so.

Sigh, 1 am. Dont think I will sleep much. Maybe I should have had dinner. Maybe I should...an hero.

lol

anyway </hijack>

sorry to interupt. dont waste sympathy on me. Horetore lost the love of his life after 2 and a half years. I lost someone after half a year.

[Caius]

I'm glad you take it from the funny side. Getting dumped it is not a funny thing.
Now, relax man. Try to get some sleep. Life still is going on for everyone.

There are still chances in life. Maybe, some day, she will return. I really hope that.

[Spartan198]

If you are immune to human emotions, then how can you feel sorry?

What I meant is, I myself am immune to caring that strongly about someone. I know what that kind of rejection feels like because I've experienced it before.
I proposed to my best friend because I cared so strongly for her, and she laughed at me.
That's when I decided I would never allow myself to care for anyone like that again.

[ShadesPanther]

I proposed to my best friend because I cared so strongly for her, and she laughed at me.
That's when I decided I would never allow myself to care for anyone like that again.

Maybe she thought you were joking?

I know i would if one of my female friends asked me.

[Rhyfelwyr]

What I meant is, I myself am immune to caring that strongly about someone. I know what that kind of rejection feels like because I've experienced it before.
I proposed to my best friend because I cared so strongly for her, and she laughed at me.
That's when I decided I would never allow myself to care for anyone like that again.

Maybe you are suffering from Schizoid Personality Disorder?

Just thought I'd sound clever since I saw it in the thread here.

I agree with you anyway, though I was just born like that.

[HoreTore]

So, it's now 01:00 saturday night. It's been... 130 hours since the breakup. Don't really care if you're still interested in this thread though, but writing stuff clears my head. Speaking of which, I found myself a notebook on friday, and started writing down everything: why I like her, what I'm planning to do with her, my thoughts at the moment, back up plans if things still won't work out(trying to get back together, I'll explain later), reasons for the breakup, and so on and so on. It has been a great help, I recommend it to anyone else who has to go through this.

So, I'm living at my childhood home again. I'm unemployed, homeless, alone and now I've got fever too. Jolly good.

I saw her on wednesday night, and stayed until thursday morning. Took a walk with her, and talked a lot. I brought her flowers that day. For the first time in well over a year. Boy have I been a complete retard. I'm actually surprised that she doesn't hate my guts, it's what I deserve. Instead, she says she still cares for me, it's just that the feeling of love has disappeared. She wants us to stay friends. And honestly, if I can't be her boyfriend anymore, I need her friendship in order to stay sane. But I refuse to accept the current situation. I need to give it one last try. I need to woo her, and woo her good. I mean, she still cares for me after everything I've done, I can't see why it has to be impossible to rediscover our love. Let it take time, I don't care about that. It's worth a shot, and better than doing nothing anyway. If it doesn't work, oh well, at least i tried.

But there will be changes no matter what. I'm not going to move in with her again if we get back together. Then it'll be the same story all over again. I wasn't happy living at that place. I was removed from all my friends, everything I liked. I couldn't think on a wednesday night "hey, I'm bored, I think I'll head over to Benny's place and see if he's doing anything". Everything involving my old friends had to be planned days ahead, and I had 2,5 hours of driving back and forth to factor in. Couple that with a job, and the result is me not seeing my friends very often.

That changed me. I was unhappy and got depressed. And then add in the fact that I'm not a great communicator when it comes to things like this(I'm afraid of something, I haven't figured out just what yet, possibly abandonment). The result was that I became bitter and lonely, unable to seek comfort in my girlfriend. I felt that she was the only person that could fix me, but I was unable to make her understand my situation. Instead of getting comfort, I started working a lot. And when I wasn't working on my job, I was fixing my car or some other stuff. If I wasn't doing any of those things, I was usually hiding in my room, and either playing or debating here. Why did I hide? That's where that fear comes in again. I needed comforting, but I was unable to get it, and I became too afraid to do anything...

So finally; plans for the future. I'm going to change my life. Rediscover my love of life. Be happy again. Then, I'm going to try win her back.