How to murder a quack?

[Rhyfelwyr]

At least these techniques do give people some hope though. Although it is strange since this women was on the recovery anyway wasn't she.

Its a bit like those drugs they give to people with depression. Even though research suggests they only have an effect on extreme cases, the psychological effects can help them.

[KukriKhan]

The secret in the diet coke is the "LIQUID LIGHT" Duh!!!!

Not having known that, I've obviously doomed my 5d self to 3d Hell.

[Vladimir]

Forget the murder, get a new friend. This one lacks sense, reason, and respect for* her trusted friends. It's the easiest way to purge yourself from such a dilemma.

*important edit.

[Ironside]

Well, here's another funny substance to your body needs to uhm balance :

pyridoxine (aka Vitamin B6)
A severe overdose will cause a feeling of disembodiment common with the loss of proprioception, due to temporary deadening of the nerves controlling that.
And more longterm side effects are sensory neuropathy.

Both thingies are reversible when you stop taking such doses.

A fitting punishment for people claiming to know their (and your) body don't you think?

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Forget the murder, get a new friend. This one lacks sense, reason, and respect for* her trusted friends. It's the easiest way to purge yourself from such a dilemma.

*important edit.

That's really cold, and in my opinion just a really selfish way to deal with such a situation. Not to derail the thread from it's lighter tone, but what's the point of having friends if they aren't around to help each other out? I understand her desperation, though I don't get why she would grasp at such ridiculous methods of "treatment" but to abandon her for that? That's heartless.

[Adrian II]

Not to derail the thread from it's lighter tone, but what's the point of having friends if they aren't around to help each other out?

Your derailment is much appreciated.

At least these techniques do give people some hope though.

No, these quacks and their 'techniques' mess with peoples' health, recovery and self-respect.

The latter aspect is very important: somehow quacks always manage to blame the patient for his own trouble. They blame it on his psyche, his lifestyle, his lack of self-knowledge, his karma, his aura or his house which was built on a dragon's back -- and this applies a fortiori when the 'cure' they prescribe fails to deliver the promised result. If rubbing your painful knee for two years with a crystal doesn't help, it isn;t the quack's fault - nooo, it's because all that time you've been using the wrong [bleeping] crystal!

The Breatherians at least do give one some hope.
I have forwarded the link, I am sure she will appreciate this sort of stuff. It's almost therapeutic, isn't it?
Thanks English Assassin

[Vladimir]

That's really cold, and in my opinion just a really selfish way to deal with such a situation. Not to derail the thread from it's lighter tone, but what's the point of having friends if they aren't around to help each other out? I understand her desperation, though I don't get why she would grasp at such ridiculous methods of "treatment" but to abandon her for that? That's heartless.

He is around to help her out and she's dragging him down with her; that isn't a friend. It seems like she thinks she knows it all and the concerns of her friends be damned. Who's the cold one?

I'm also speaking within the context of the thread.

[InsaneApache]

Have you ever heard that old English adage, "A friend in need is a friend indeed"?

Or the phrase 'Fairweather friend'.

[Rhyfelwyr]

He is around to help her out and she's dragging him down with her; that isn't a friend. It seems like she thinks she knows it all and the concerns of her friends be damned. Who's the cold one?

I'm also speaking within the context of the thread.

The friend is obviously recovering a pretty traumatic time in her life. Even if she seems to be cold and ignoring Adrian, she needs her friends more than ever just now and Adrian should just carry on trying to pull her back on track.

And I've heard IA's saying here in Scotland too, and there's a lot of truth in it.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

He is around to help her out and she's dragging him down with her; that isn't a friend. It seems like she thinks she knows it all and the concerns of her friends be damned. Who's the cold one?

I'm also speaking within the context of the thread.

Ummm she's dragging him down? No, she's desperate and in need of support. In this situation a real friend will try to convince her to put her faith in effective treatments and stay by her side until she recovers. To leave a friend in dire need of support proves only one thing, you never really were her friend, or at least not a very close friend. As IA said you'd be a fairweather friend, or a friend who only sticks around when all is peachy and runs at the slightest sign of trouble or difficulty. How do you expect to ever have meaningful relationships with people if you abandon them as weaklings when they "drag you down?"

She is not being cold. She's just trying to figure out a solution to an extremely difficult situation, to some extent you can't blame her for trying everything even if these treatments are misguided. I may be wrong but I think Adrian is doing the right thing here, he's sticking around for her and trying to convince her to seek more effective treatments, rather than jumping ship.

Adrian I'm really sorry your friend is sick and trying these crazy treatments, I hope she sees the light soon.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Apparently nitrates and hydrocarbon chains are passe, so here's something else.
Get a strong, large steel pipe (2' long, 0.5' diameter). Cap each end. Fill the bottom 75% or so with hot water. Insert a very fine mesh, then pile on a mix of 75% iron oxide (rust) and 25% aluminum powder up to the top cap. Drill a very small hole in the top cap, and insert a strip of magnesium. Tell the quack that by lighting the magnesium, the water will warm and give off vapor, that, as it passes through the bed of rust and aluminum, will pick up ideal amounts and so balance the mineral levels of her body. They'll adjust the harmonic vibrations as affected by the earth's magnetic field. Or something. Just don't be near when she lights it.

CR

[Adrian II]

Apparently nitrates and hydrocarbon chains are passe, so here's something else.
Get a strong, large steel pipe (2' long, 0.5' diameter). Cap each end. Fill the bottom 75% or so with hot water. Insert a very fine mesh, then pile on a mix of 75% iron oxide (rust) and 25% aluminum powder up to the top cap. Drill a very small hole in the top cap, and insert a strip of magnesium. Tell the quack that by lighting the magnesium, the water will warm and give off vapor, that, as it passes through the bed of rust and aluminum, will pick up ideal amounts and so balance the mineral levels of her body. They'll adjust the harmonic vibrations as affected by the earth's magnetic field. Or something. Just don't be near when she lights it.

CR

You are warming up to this, aren't you? Let me guess, you hate quacks as much as I do.

Well, this thread has been truly "cathartic" and thanks to you I've found some new Qu, build up some Fa and opened up two whole chakra's.
Now if you could just raise my American Express karma for me ..

[Redleg]

Now the Apache and Navajo use to have a pretty good treatment for a natural cure to stupidity.

What you do is invite the quack for a Native American Vision quest using the proper substance for such a quest. Three days of fasting and staying awake with a smoke of peyote at the end of the event. To get a true vision quest one must do it in the midst of July on top of a table Mesa for a true vision.

If you pick the right spot you might even find a spot with a large rattlesnake nest near by - snakes like to slither up to warm quacks during the night for warmth.

[Mooks]

Iv always told my friends that if I really put my mind to it, I could become one of the best serial killers america has ever seen.

That being said, I would sneak into her apartment (I doubt she has security) and gag her. Then slit her stomach wide open, and let her see her own entrails fall out of her slowly, very slowly. All the while in complete agony.
~~~
Of course theirs a high chance your be caught doing the above method. So, if your not up for fleeing to mexico. Then do all the steps before slicing her open, and just force her to swallow a of her own medicine(Or maybe make it look like she "accidently" cut herself with acupuncture). Any rational person knows shes crazy anyway.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Very well, gentlemen.

Humour is one thing, graphic explorations of killing other people is quite another. The last post leaps right over the line, and thus we must move on to other things.