The Basileus is crazy

[General Appo]

Thou art most welcome.
In the future I will refer to every year as being 4 AGJ, 645 AGJ and the like, to honour Pyrrhos Great Journey. AGJ of course standing for After Great Journey.

[d'Arthez]

Never knew they had extensive wine production in Ireland or Scotland. Else I REALLY would doubt Pyrrhus his sanity.

As for the bearded womenfolk ...

[General Appo]

Chapter 6: A time of War

Pyrrhos unexpected departure from Kypros has left Helenos devastated, and so he falls ever deeper into his many vices, gaining reputation as the most despicable man in the entire world, though he is both to drunk and stupid to either notice or care. He also uses this time to gain a truly enourmous stomach, earning him the name Helenos the Fat, something which he does not seem to object to.


The final drop for the people of Salamis comes when Helenos insists on reading his poetry to them, which is so bad that just a single sentence can make a man go mad.


The people of Salamis gets their chance when Helenos is away to compete in the Olympiakoi Agones, during a festival they chase the mostly drunk or sleeping soldiers away from the city, and quickly set about to arm themselves.
Incredibly, Helenos wins the games in the greatest scandal ever to have occured. He was so ill-conditioned the he could not even finish the stadion, and yet the judges awarded him the olive branch. After the crowd acussed him of bribery and started throwing stones after him, he had to be hustled away and quickly boarded the ship back to Kypros.
His brother Alexandros had also participated, and would probably have less for the judges unusal decision.


When Helenos returned to Kypros he found his army camped a few miles outside Salamis, and quickly ordered them to retake the city. First however he contacts some Galatian mercenaries who soon joins his army as they surround the town. The people of Salamis have armed themselves in the only way the can, as Iphikratous Hoplitai, and though impressive looking Helenos´s captains are certain their inflexibilty will be their downfall.


Soon however Helenos grows tired of besieging this backwater town, he wishes to conquer a greater city where he can live in the opulence which he deserves.
This chance is about to present itself to him.


Meantime Pyrrhos has reached Krete, where without even bothering to meet with his oldest son Ptolemaios, he simply loads aboard the prepared soldiers and sets sail again, this time towards Cape Tainaron, the famous gathering place of mercenaries from all across the Hellenic world. Here he hires many men to aid him in his glorious mission, mostly young Galatians and brave Karians, but also some mounted nobles from Thessalia.
When Pyrrhos sets sail Syrakousai, he does so with a great army, worthy of conquering the end of the world.


Around this time Ptolemaios one daughter, Nereis, have fallen in love with one of Ptolemaios´s captain, an Illyrian named Echemens Aulonites, who strongly shares her love. This man is part of the Illyrian tribe of Autariatai, and his ancestors have long served well in the armies of Epirus, so Ptolemaios is delighted when his daughter informs him of their love.


They soon marry, but not long afterwards Echemenes is called out on a mission.



The city of Halikarnassos and most of the region of Karia was a few years ago captured by the Epeirotes allies the Seleukids, however the region has now declared its independence, and joined the league of Greek cities. As this leauge is Ptolemaios and Echemenes sworn enemy this cannot be allowed.
As so Echemenes begin outfitting an army to invade Karia with, and defeat the threacherous Greeks.
He gathers men from both Krete and Rhodos, including some light artillery. He intends to besiege Halikarnassos and shoot down anyone who attemps to exit the city gates. When Halikarnassos falls, the rest of the Karian cities and tribes will soon realise the inevitable, and swear alliegance to Echemenes.
His plans are disturbed though, for no sooner have his army set up camp before a small Greek force comes to the relief of the city, and its garrison streams out to fight him.



In Sicily, the Karchedoi armies have temporarily abandoned their attemps at conquering Syrakousai, and insted invaded the northeastern part of the island. Though a combined army from many Greek cities and towns manages to beat them back, they suffer heavy casualties, and most cities are worried for their future. Therefore they seek the protection of Alexandros and Syrakousai, who is more then willing to give it to them.
The major city in this part of the island, Messana, refuses to acknowledge Syrakousai as its master, and conducts raids upon the territory of Alexandros´s allies. This cannot go unpunished, and so Alexandros prepares his army and besieges Messana.


After a brief stop at Malta where the fearful natives provided him with supplies despite being under Karchedoi control, Pyrrhos have now passed the city of Karkhēdōn and his proceeding along the coast of Lybia. Word has been sent to all Karchedoi cities and allies of Pyrrhos approach, but Pyrrhos travels with the wind in his sails, and the warning arrives to late for many, as Pyrrhos´s army plunders the shores of Mashiliem.


News from across the world reaches the scattered family of Aiakides. The Arche Seleukeia is doing well for itself, not only having driven the Ptolemaioi from Syria and Phoinike, they have expelled them from their last strongholds in Asia Minor, the cities of Tarsos and Side.


Rumours are also abound that they have stabilised their position against the nomads in the east, and much land north of Kappadokia and Media has fallen to them.

The up-and-coming kingdom of Pontos has established itself as the major power in the north of Asia Minor, having not only defeated the kingdom of Bithynia but also the Greek colony of Sinope.


The Romani are also doing well, at least against the Keltoi north of them. They have conquered much land, and is in the process of taking even more.


However they have still not managed to overthrow the Romani turncoats in Rhegion, despite numerous attempts.

So ends the 1st year AGJ, just one single year have passed since Pyrrhos left on his great journey, and already much has happened. There is war on all fronts of the scattered kingdom of the Aiakides, and much conquest awaits.

Next chapter: Sieges and battles.

[General Appo]

Sorry for the cliffhanger chapter guys, but that´s pretty much were I am right now.
My little empire has gone from peaceful to war-on-all-fronts in just one year, not sure how it happened really.
For those wondering, Helenos actually got most of those traits by himself, I only helped him along a bit. He did get Vogon Poet all by himself.

[Hax]

Epic...just epic.

[General Appo]

Indeed. Never got that before, except when testing (with cheats).

Also, what is the name of that mercenary place in southern Lakonike? I remember someone said it some time ago, but can´t find the thread.