The Basileus is crazy
Greetings. This is not as much of an AAR as an experiment by me. I´ve started a Epeirote campaign and I´m doing some crazy stuff, much of which showes up in this AAR. However I´m not so much strictly following the actual happenings in the game as I am inspired by them, sometimes I might change them a bit in the story. I don´t know how long I will keep this up, probably for as long as I feel like continuing this campaign. There might a great shortage in screenshots, mostly because I suck at them, but I´ll try to get in some.
Anyway, I´m role-playing that Pyrrhus is totally crazy, and at least one of his sons as well. I might cheat a bit sometimes, either for me or for the AI, depending on what the situation demands. This is one of my first attempts at an AAR, and not to be taken seriously. As I said, I´m just experimenting a bit. Also, keep in mind that I wrote this in about 30 minutes and had indeed no intention to write an AAR when I started writing, it just happened. Anyway.
In the year later to be known as 272 BC, Pyrrhus of Epirus stands with a great army unthreatened outside the capital of his arch enemy, the vile Makedonians. But instead of once and for all destroying this menace to all the world, Pyrrhus makes a public declaration that he cannot leave a war half-finished. Needless to say this has every man west of the Tigris rolling on the floor with laughter.
Anyway, Pyrrhus quickly sent messengers to the Romani, and promises them the city´s of Magna Graecia in return for that the Romans makes peace with him and let merchants from Pyrrhus domains enter their harbours again. The Romans happily accept, but are a tiny bit dissapointed when it shows that about half of the city´s of Magna Graecia weren´t actually Pyrrhus to give, as they were controlled by those awful Roman deserters in Rhegion. When the Romans protest and claim Pyrrhus didn´t uphold his end of the bargain, he simply points out that since the men in Rhegion were dressed, spoke and acted like Romans he assumed they were in fact Romans, and that it is now the Romans problem. Still disgruntled, the Romans accepted this explanation.
While this was happening Pyrrhus had gathered all his forces, even the town garrisons, on a few ships laying in the harbour of Ambrakia. He then sets sail for the great city of Syrakousai. After a few peaceful months at sea they reach their destination, and surrounds the city. His old general Hiero, now ruler of the city, is taken by complete surprise, but after a quick debate with the locals decides that the great stone walls of Syrakousai should be able to withstand anny assault from Pyrrhus army, and so refuses to open the gates for him. Pyrrhus is enraged, but extremely lucky as well. For there are some in the city who do not agree with Hiero´s way of goverment, and would rather see Pyrrhus regain control of the city. These men contact Pyrrhus and promises to sabotage the eastern and northern gate in return for a hefty reward. Pyrrhus gladly accept, and so on a warm summer morning he wakes up to see the gates broken before him.
Quickly he sends forwards his Hoplites, confident that they will crush any opposition inside the city. However, on the other side of the gates await a force of hoplitai who are easily able to hold back Pyrrhus hoplites, and from the walls the Peltastai and Akontistai throwns javelins in the hundreds at the unarmoured men, and from the great towers all sorts of missiles are fired.
Pyrrhus, seeing his men in great need sends forth his Illyrians, and these men are able to stabilise the line and start pushing the Syrakousaioi back. Meanwhile Pyrrhus taken his three sons Ptolemaios, Alexandros and Helenos and their picked bodyguards with him around the walls. They enter the destroyed northern gate, where a unit of spearmen awaits. These Thureophoroi are quickly driven back though, as hundreds of heavily armoured men and horses crash into their ranks. After a quick chase after them Pyrrhus enters the maze of the city street, looking for his old friend and general. Suddenly he sees some red cavalry in the distance, and as he orders his force towards it he recognise the face of Hiero in the first line of this unit. Pyrrhus charges the cavalry, and despite hailing from the city of Taras, famous for it´s cavalry, these men are no match for Pyrrhus and his sons. Somewhere in the struggle Hiero falls from his horse and is trampled to death.
Over at the eastern gate the situation is desperate. The enemy hoplites have been all but defeated, but all the hundreds of men upon the walls have come down and are now pushing the remaining Illyrians and hoplites back. Pyrrhus hears the struggle continuing, and decides to come to the rescue of his men. As soon as he and his great number of heavily armoured cavalrymen appears around the street corner the enemies realises their doom, and flees towards the city center. Most of them are cut down before they are able to escape.
Most of his army is still waiting outside of the city, since with Pyrrhus and his sons gone there is no one to give orders to them. Soon however Pyrrhus orders his Illyrians to clear the walls of the city with defenders, and when the Galatian mercenary´s sees the Illyrians wawing from atop the walls they believe they can no longer stand still and wait, and so rushes into the city, ready to plunder. First however, the remaining enemies must be taken care of. A second unit of hoplites approached the eastern gate, no doubt looking to reclaim it. the few ramining hoplites of Pyrrhus engaged them, while the vicious Galatians flanks them and cut them down with great speed.
Now Pyrrrhus sends orders for his phalanxes to enter the city, and after a long march these decends upon the city center where just a few enemies await. After a desperate struggle with the phalanxes, Pyrrhus and his sons plus the Illyrians who had come down from the walls, then final defender is put to rest. Pyrrhus had lost almost one third of his army, but in return gained one of the greatest city´s in the world.
The carnage at the eastern gate
Angered at the city´s refusal to open its gates, Pyrrhus releases his soldiers, and for several days terror rules the city, as the children are cast from the walls, the men cut down, the women raped and the animals eaten. Or was it the other way around? Anway, Pyrrhus and his two favourite sons Ptolamaios and Helenos quickly descends into an abyss of drinking, womanising, throwing up and other hobbies worthy of an Basileus and his sons.
His second son, Alexandros however, does not follow his fathers guidance, and so in all but word becomes the true ruler of the city, as he oversees it finances, buildings and all the other boring things that a city this size requires.
Pyrrhus only comes out of his dark pit every once in a while to give the most strange orders. All the Galatians and Illyrians shall be released from service, the elephants he had brought with him shall be sold to a local circus and most of the remaining hoplites shall be settled on the best land to be found.
Needless to say, Alexandros is outraged, for his city is left almost undefended, even though the Poeni are gathering a great force in their stronghold of Lilibeo, undoubtly to subdue all of Sicily.
Next time Pyrrhus pops out of whole he delivers even stranger orders, for the demands that all his territories back in Hellas shall be given away for free, to the Thrakians! Shocked, Alexandros still obeys his father, and sends out diplomats to find some siutable Thracians. The diplomats have a hard with this task, but finally enters the lands of the Getai, a half-threacian people who controlls a great area and whose mountains have made them rich with gold and silver. The Getai are overjoyed when the diplomats tell them the happy news, and quickly sends a few dozen men to ensure the loyalty of the Epeirotes and Illyrians. These have already decided that any ruler must be better then Pyrrhus, and so accept the new ones with little protest.
Back in Syrakousai, Alexandros manages to broker a peace with the Poeni, as he promises that his father has no intention to conquer the island, and the Poeni, having great troubles with rebellious Numidians back home, accepts, and so a temporary peace ensues.
Soon enough Pyrrhus pops up his ugly head again, this time to let his second son know that he intends to inavade the island of Krete. When Alexandros asks why Pyrrhus simply throw a vine bottle after him and shouts something about Minoan women and his Alexandros dearly departed mothers heritage. Alexandros simply sighs and gathers the few armed men remaining, and puts them upon a few ships. Shortly after Pyrrhus, Ptolemaios and Helenos boards the ships, and sets of towards the island of Krete, leaving Alexandros in Syrakousai. The entire city joins Alexandros in his celebrations, and prays deeply to Poseidon that pirates or storms will take the fleet.
Now at last Alexandros can get to work with improving the city. He orders the construction a greater temples, roads, ports, markets, sewers, gymnasions, just about everything that sets Greeks apart from the barbarians. He even builds a great Academia, where great minds from all across the world gathers. Being something of a philosopher himself, Alexandros regularly joins the debates here, and often wins the day, but always though superior argument rather then fear of reprisal, for Alexandros is truly a benevolent governor, satisfied with ruling this city and it´s surroundings. He was always accompanied by a renowned philosopher and his favourite poet Theokritos Syrakousios. In his service he also had many knowledgable clerks and skilled armourers. To honor him the people appointed him to the position of Emporiarches, superviso of trade, a task he handled galantly.
While Alexandros and the people of Syrakousai prospered however, Pyrrhus and his two favourite sons were suffering aboard the ships, as the wine was running low. Finally they reached the island of Krete, and set ashore a few miles from the city of Kydonia. Scouts reported that an army from Sparta was camped in the west, were it had been sitting for quite a while now. Dismissing these news a burp, Pyrrhus orders his men to begin the construction of a ram to knock down the wooden gates of Kydonia. While the ram was being constructed Pyrrhus toured the area looking for more wine, and happened upon a band of Kretan archers, who claimed that they were more then willing to join his army and aid in the slaughtering of their fellow Kretans. Pyrrhus was reluctant at first, but after the leader of the Kretans said that he knew of the location of a secret wine cellar, Pyrrhus happily allowes them into his army.
Soon the ram is finished, and begins battering upon the wodden gates. Pyrrhus Kretans fires over the walls and kills many defenders, so when the gates are finally down Pyrrhus and his sons simply storm the city and killl all those who oppose him. Once again he releases his soldier and a reign of terror holds the city for a few days, while the men are thrown from the walls, the women cut down on site, the animals raped and the children eaten. Or was it the other way around?
Anyway, the Spartan army still remains camped on Krete, showing no intention to leave. Angered at this, Pyrrhus prepares to forcefully remove them. News arrive to Krete that Athenai has fallen to the armies of Makedonia, and seeing the inevitable victory of these and the vileness of the Spartans Pyrrhus makes peace with the Makedonians and allies himself with them, to bring down the Spartans and their allies the Rhodians.
Will Pyrrhus be able to defeat the army of Sparta, will the Poeni keep their word or take advantage of Syrakousai´s weakness, and most importantly, will the Getai actually ever do something with their new territories?
Edit: Added some paragraphs to make it easier on the eyes. Glad you like it.
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" -alBernameg
Originally Posted by Timidus
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