I feel down

**edyzmedieval** · 05-19-2008, 07:03

*ranting included*

And I really don't know why.

This particular week I started liking a girl. She's really nice and looks good, and she's been single for the start of the year. The thing is, for some time, I lost my guts to ask a girl out. 2 years ago I had no problem but now I feel a sort of inhibited, preventing me from asking her out.

But I seriously don't know what happened to me in this time. I am a histrion, and sometimes I know it's annoying for some people, and I'm trying to change, but I'm still poked at for being like "gangsta" and trying to be cool. It's not trying to be cool, its just me, I am a very positive character and I rarely get angry on something (and when I do here comes the storm). Lately it's been a mild improvement, or so it seems to me, but still I am really upbeat. It might be because I haven't had a serious relationship so far, and it kind of hurts emotionally. It's really something new to me because I've never experienced something like this before and it shook my boat seriously.

It's not necessarily have to do with liking her or not. It's also the fact that I feel blank/void/lifeless and have no clear cut defined purpose on what to do. I have my own hobbies and I pursue them, and since I don't want to game/play games any more it sort of left a big blank which I seriously need to fill but that is like trying to fill a huge hole in a brick wall with cement - it will go but it looks really bad. My roommate who has a stable girlfriend tells me to change, not to act so "gangsta", basically change because you won't get far.

Maybe he is right about it, but I feel fine with myself, I don't see the need to change, except that it affects the social relationships I have.

They say that people now are totally different than when they are at 24-25 years old (right now its 16-17) but still, I don't know what to think or say about this matter.

Opinions? Helpful advice?
NOTE: I am histrionic and narcissistic. (yes, a DEADLY combination)

Thank you for taking it off my chest.

**Dimeola** · 05-19-2008, 07:28

Women and your selfimage? I will honestly give ya the benefit of my 50 years of life. If i look back on all the ladies i was `in love` with or had the `hots for`....where are they now? They are gone and yet i still live. We tend to live in the moment without perspective. Love and lust breed great emotion and complete blindness and stupidity. Been there and done that many times.
Your heart will want what it will. Doesnt mean she is right and good for you. You will be afraid that if she doesnt return your emotion and feelings that you will be humiliated and die. you will not.
First of all plz understand that your worth doesnt revolve around what a lady thinks of you.We all think so at times, but its hormones and emotion and longing. Look at yourself honestly and just be yourself. be confident in the person you are. Dont live or die on what she or anyone else thinks. Women actually love confident and self-assured men. Do what you think is right in life and dont let the rest bother you. if someone else doesnt like that about you then they can F off.
Dont play games or be false. if you do really like this girl then take a chance and talk to her ...just like she were another human being. Let her have a chance to get to know you. If it doesnt work then another girl will come along.
Yea people grow and change, always try and grow for the better. Its hard to have a clear direction in life early on. So dont let it worry you. just look at life and try and see what you like and what interests you. i didnt find my art until late in life. You dont know what it has in store.
At this point its important to find become a good person....in zen there is a term called `sameness in bearing`...meaning to just be yourself in any situation. Workon that. You`ll be fine bro....lemme know if ya need anything else.
Cheers.

**pevergreen** · 05-19-2008, 07:55

If you get involved with someone at our age, dont expect it to last forever.

I dont know man, it sounds like you need something, try some new stuff. Have you got a job?

I find getting into a good series of books, or playing games helps. But if no games, maybe books?

It'll all be ok

**HoreTore** · 05-19-2008, 11:38

Well, if the nerves are the problem, alcohol is the best solution. Seriously. No, I'm not talking about getting the chick filthy drunk and raping her

Just going out and getting drunk together.

Not that it matters though, in about 2,5 years she'll just tear out your heart and stomp on it, say that you'll can be friends but then canceling that appointment you've been looking forward to all week because you haven't seen her for two weeks now... She'll complain about not having the time, but she did have the time to get drunk twice in 3 days just a few days ago...

**edyzmedieval** · 05-19-2008, 11:47

Well here's my problem! I always stuck out from the crowd because of my thoughts and my behaviour, a sort of anarhist, and because of that everyone's been poking at me. It can be everything you want, I still stand out. It's like a bright yellow flower in a huge mass of black flowers. No matter from where you view the field, that yellow flower is the first thing which gets in your eyes.

For example, today we had an assembly, and everyone stood down and stuff, apart from the teachers. I seriously didn't want to sit down because I was really like void and I really didn't care about what was going on. I was the only one standing up.

After the assembly finished, 4 guys were asking why did I stand up because I made a clown of myself.

I don't care a damned bit about what I did, but it affects the relationships around, and no girl will ever take me seriously.

**pevergreen** · 05-19-2008, 11:51

Someone will admire you for what you do. It might take some time, but someone will.

**HoreTore** · 05-19-2008, 11:51

Originally Posted by edyzmedieval

I don't care a damned bit about what I did, but it affects the relationships around, and no girl will ever take me seriously.

Fact of life:

Women are different. Not everyone wants everything taken seriously. I recommend https://youtube.com/watch?v=Tqf9PuKi63E

**Rhyfelwyr** · 05-19-2008, 13:17

Originally Posted by edyzmedieval

For example, today we had an assembly, and everyone stood down and stuff, apart from the teachers. I seriously didn't want to sit down because I was really like void and I really didn't care about what was going on. I was the only one standing up.

After the assembly finished, 4 guys were asking why did I stand up because I made a clown of myself.

I don't care a damned bit about what I did, but it affects the relationships around, and no girl will ever take me seriously.

So sit down next time...

Seriosly though, if you used to be fine with such things then you have probably just worked yourself up. Just calm down, put it in perspective, then go talk to her. That's all you need to do...

**Dimeola** · 05-19-2008, 21:28

while everything you do may not seem appropriate you are not a follower and you are a free thinker. Just dont be a slave to doing things different just for its own sake. Thats as much a slave as following the rules for rules sake. People like you can grow into the greatest thinkers, artists, and entertainers. because you push the envelope.

**Meneldil** · 05-19-2008, 21:15

Originally Posted by HoreTore

Well, if the nerves are the problem, alcohol is the best solution. Seriously. No, I'm not talking about getting the chick filthy drunk and raping her

Just going out and getting drunk together.

Not that it matters though, in about 2,5 years she'll just tear out your heart and stomp on it, say that you'll can be friends but then canceling that appointment you've been looking forward to all week because you haven't seen her for two weeks now... She'll complain about not having the time, but she did have the time to get drunk twice in 3 days just a few days ago...

This man speaks truth.