*ranting included*
And I really don't know why.
This particular week I started liking a girl. She's really nice and looks good, and she's been single for the start of the year. The thing is, for some time, I lost my guts to ask a girl out. 2 years ago I had no problem but now I feel a sort of inhibited, preventing me from asking her out.![]()
But I seriously don't know what happened to me in this time. I am a histrion, and sometimes I know it's annoying for some people, and I'm trying to change, but I'm still poked at for being like "gangsta" and trying to be cool. It's not trying to be cool, its just me, I am a very positive character and I rarely get angry on something (and when I do here comes the storm). Lately it's been a mild improvement, or so it seems to me, but still I am really upbeat. It might be because I haven't had a serious relationship so far, and it kind of hurts emotionally. It's really something new to me because I've never experienced something like this before and it shook my boat seriously.
It's not necessarily have to do with liking her or not. It's also the fact that I feel blank/void/lifeless and have no clear cut defined purpose on what to do. I have my own hobbies and I pursue them, and since I don't want to game/play games any more it sort of left a big blank which I seriously need to fill but that is like trying to fill a huge hole in a brick wall with cement - it will go but it looks really bad. My roommate who has a stable girlfriend tells me to change, not to act so "gangsta", basically change because you won't get far.
Maybe he is right about it, but I feel fine with myself, I don't see the need to change, except that it affects the social relationships I have.
They say that people now are totally different than when they are at 24-25 years old (right now its 16-17) but still, I don't know what to think or say about this matter.
Opinions? Helpful advice?
NOTE: I am histrionic and narcissistic. (yes, a DEADLY combination)
Thank you for taking it off my chest.
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