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Thread: The Magnaura
Ramses II CP 20:07 08-14-2008
A letter arrives from Vissarionas ek Lesvou and is read into the record by a scribe who grows increasingly nervous as he goes on reading out the points.

I second Edicts 4.3 and 4.4.

I wish to make it known that I was suitably chastened by my Lord and Protector, the Grandmaster of the Order, for my outrageous comments and I further withdraw my own amusing little 'edict' in the name of respecting what pathetic dregs of authority remain to this body in the wake of the latest Megas' abuses.

I would also like to officially apologize to the Emperor, may God protect him, if he was in any way offended that I pointed out the fact of his son's idiocy, resemblance to a pig, or astonishing capacity for damaging our nation through his incompetence.

The poor scribe stumbles over the last words, and looks about helplessly.

I must further apologize to Princess Anna, the representative of Patriarch Nicholas III, Prince Isaakios Komnenos, and Prince Andronikos Komnenos if my reporting the facts of the Caesar's crude habit of pleasuring himself with snakes in any way disturbed their sleep, as it has my own.

Even more so I must apologize to Senators Ioannis Kantakouzinos, Lisas Attaleiatis, and Pavlos Chrysovergos for revealing that syphilis has so destroyed their sensibilities that they have sworn themselves to a mange ridden dog who feeds them only the scraps from his own filthy meals.

The wide eyed functionary has no recourse but to carry on speaking, though his nervous swallows and stutters make the words difficult to understand.

Furthermore I must apologize to Senators Nikiphoros Manouelitis, Methodios Tagaris, Hypatios Machonios, Apionnas Vringas for publically demonstrating the gross cowardice and utter incapacity for thought on the part of their most recent Megas, the Caesar.

And yet again I must apologize to Senators Annios Solomon, Efstratios Monomachos, Michail Arianitis, Savvas ek Militou, and Aleksios ek Ikoniou for my wildly unecessary revelation that the Caesar's favored libation is undistilled boil drainage from the 'ladies' who work the dockyards in the evening.

At this point the reader breaks into a sweat, and turns deathly pale, but clearly feels he must not abandon his job.

Also a deeply heartfelt apology must go out to Efstathios Laskaris, Nevoulos ek Philadelphias, Zigavinos Vasilakios, and Ioannis Kalameteros for my accurate but unwholesome description of the Caesar's willingness to sacrifice the lives of soldiers, civilians, children, cats, dogs, and even priests to further his own pedantic ends.

And finally an apology to the children of the Komnenos household; I purchased and shipped chastity belts in your name in the vain hope that you could remain unspoiled by the hideous depredations of your elder but I fear I am too late, and all of you may already be too old to suit the beast's tastes.

At this the scribes eye's at last roll back in his head, and he faints dead away, dropping the letter, not quite finished. He is quickly carried off by his fellow scribes, all of whom look deeply relieved not to have drawn the short straw on this day. If anyone picks up the paper or chances to glance at it there is but one final line of text.

To my brothers in the Order, I am sorry beyond words, but the brute fact is someone must speak, and if no one else has the courage or the outrage, then I do. I will restrain myself in the future, so far as good conscience allows.

Vissarionas ek Lesvou



OOC: and on the back, in tiny letters, it says:

Chivalry characters do it in the open

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Ibn-Khaldun 20:35 08-14-2008
Hearing his name Efstathios raises his head..

Vissarionas does not have to apologize before me since I share his opinion about our 'beloved' Caesar...

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Andres 21:07 08-14-2008
Savvas speaks, his whole body screams 'sarcasm'.

Well well, the brave Vissarionas ek Lesvou wrote a letter. What a hero.

He smiles at Makedonios.

Is this the kind of diplomacy we will see from a Megas of the Order? Guess we will be at war with the whole world in no time than...

In a dramatic gesture, Savvas shakes his head.

Grandmaster, you can't even keep your own vassals in line, and you want us to believe that you'll be able to run the Empire?

What a joke!

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Privateerkev 21:12 08-14-2008
Still grasping huh Savvas?

Vissa was rebuked. He is not even here. If he wants to send letters, he can until the Emperor says he can't. I say again, take it up with the Emperor if you want Vissa banned.

Your attempt to link his actions in the Senate to my international diplomacy is weak and tenous. And indictitive of your own lack of platform.

Your only running because the Caesar ordered you to. So, now you've followed his orders. Good for you.

If you refuse to debate real issues, then we have little more to say.

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00jebus 21:54 08-14-2008
Lisas looks at the scribe who recited Vissa's letter

Kindly remind Vissa that if I have syphillus and chlammidia, then its only thanks to his mothers special offers of a tuesday night...

Then at the grandmaster

As the comes ek Miltou has already pointed out, you lack an understanding of real world economics, though, like a blind archer I once heard of, you've somehow managed to hit something;

The empire is, pehaps the largest employer of mercinaries in the world, some of these are on garrison duty, I ask you now as a possible future megas, what would you do about them?

leave them in place as drains on our coffers?
move them to the front and loose order?
disband them all and leave us horribly weak?
or some middle course

Reply
Privateerkev 22:09 08-14-2008
I am amused that this myth of me not having economic ability is floating around. (OOC: Mak has "smart" and "budding bueruacrat". )

There are many ways to gain and lose money. Savvas and I simply happen to disagree on some of them.

But to answer your question Lisas, I do have a plan. I will catalouge all of our mercenaries, research where I can recruit professional replacements, and then offer the owners of the mercenaries a choice.

They can either accept the cheaper professional replacements or explain to the whole Senate why they need expensive mercenaries.

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00jebus 22:40 08-14-2008
good enough, though I note to the senate that without sacking replacing all mercinaries with our own professionals or even militia could take years.

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Tags: the senate
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