Mafia VIII - information and summary thread

[GeneralHankerchief]

Day breaks in the Frontroom. All is quiet. Nature itself, perhaps disturbed by all of the attacks on the village in the past days, seemed to be unsettled. The birds-

Oh, screw the birds.

Crazed Rabbit was hiding out on a small farm on the outskirts of town. He had picked it specifically because of its size, obscurity, and distance away from downtown, where the previous day's villains had shown themselves. Rabbit knew he would be isolated, but didn't care that much. The Chief of Police always found a way to summon everybody, no matter where they were hidden.

He was currently located not in the farmhouse, but in the empty barn nearby. With daylight poking through the cracks, Rabbit decided to explore the vast space and search for hiding places. Aside from a couple of stables, there really weren't many features at all aside from the usual hay littering the floor.

"Peasant Phill wuz here" was scratched into one of the many slats of wood.

The total silence of the place was both overwhelming and comforting. For better or for worse, Rabbit knew that he was completely alone. Yes, there was no mafioso, but there was also no help, no rescue. He was on his own.

Several hours passed by, with the barn heating up by the minute. It would be a scorcher today, and Rabbit, used to blasting the air conditioning in his comfortable house, just couldn't fight through it. At a bit before noon, he opened the barn door and stepped out into the air.

Immediately, a man nearby, holding a hoe, turned. Despite his location, the farm tool was the one thing that looked out of place, for the man was dressed in a trenchcoat and fedora and smoking what looked to be a Cuban cigar. Rabbit couldn't understand how this man could stomach the heat.

The well-dressed man waved at Rabbit, gently setting the hoe aside and making his way towards the other person.

"Morning!" he said cheerily. "It's certainly a hot one, but it's still a beautiful day!"

Rabbit was not convinced, the sense of dread passing over him. "What are you doing here?"

The man looked taken aback. "What do you mean what am I doing here?" he said. "This is my farm! I could ask the same thing about you!"

"This farm was abandoned. Nice try, mafioso."

Smoked out, the mafioso fumbled around for a second. Only a second. "Uh, um..." he said, bending down. In a flash, his revolver was out and firing; Crazed Rabbit went down screaming. Both of his kneecaps had been hit. He was effectively paralyzed.

Rabbit was prepared to take the finishing blow. Instead, he creaned his neck around and watched as the mafioso walked into the barn, whistling a merry tune. Opening a secret compartment, the mafioso rummaged around until he found what he wanted and walked out, still humming the same tune.

As the mafioso approached closer and closer, Rabbit could read what he was carrying; it was a container of some sort with the letters "PETROL" stamped on it.

Being unable to get away, Crazed Rabbit could only watch and feel the wetness as the mafioso emptied the contents on the container onto him. Once it was done to suffiency, the mafioso stepped back (way back) and flicked the still-lit cigar onto his victim.

It was over extremely quick.

woad&fangs had a similar approach to surviving any contact with persons of questionable affiliation, although it was a variation on the theme. Instead of opting for solitude, W&F had instead chosen security, fortifying his own house to the point where it resembled an army checkpoint more than a domestic dwelling.

Like any smart citizen, he had his plan mapped out. Around the full perimeter of his property (and extending a bit off it, in case anybody wanted to try a drive-by grenading) was a series of invisible lasers. If the connection was tripped, an alarm would go off in woad's house, alerting him first that the connection had indeed been tripped and then what sector it had been tripped in. Depending on this second piece of information, woad would make a quick exit off his property in the direction away from the alarm tripper, while his defense system activated, pinning down would-be attackers with machine gun fire from multiple directions.

"In case of mafioso, always have an escape plan," woad muttered to himself, paraphrasing the popular maxim regarding fire safety. "God, what a mess this town is. If we had a better police force then we wouldn't need to worry about-"

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP

The alarm sounded, cutting off woad's soliloquy. He checked the details: The alarm had been tripped in the front of the house, which also happened to be the most heavily-fortified. Peeking at his front windows to make sure there wasn't a false alarm, he saw a dark figure carrying what was definitely a weapon.

Time to get out. W&F would go the back way, an added bonus to having the attacker approach from the front, because immediately behind his house there were woods. It was perfect cover to have him disappear for a while whilst the mafioso would have to answer the deadly crossfire from the five machine guns tasked to defend that particular side of his house.

He burst out the door and sprinted through the woods, tripping his own alarm (but the guns wouldn't fire; he had programmed that in)... and stopping dead as a figure holding a shotgun, right outside the laser line, was waiting for him.

"How... what... how?" woad stammered in disbelief.

"Depardmed store dubby", the man said nasally. It appeared that his nose had recently been broken. Without any more words, he pointed the shotgun at his shocked victim and pulled the trigger.

"What a waste of weapodry," the man said to himself and walked away.

Later that day, Chief of Police Beirut had the remaining villagers gathered in the town square in order to make an announcement.

"Gentlemen," he began, "We all know why we're here, so let's get this over with. Get voting!"

~~~~~~~~~~~

Still alive: (27)
Ichigo
RoadKill
TinCow
shlin28
makaikhaan
Sasaki Kojiro
Sigurd Fafnesbane
Caius
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Sarathos
Mithrandir
Beefy187
Tiberius of the Drake
KukriKhan
|Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88
Fenring
Lord Winter
CountArach
Kommodus
Rythmic
Seamus Fermanagh
Quintus.J.Cicero
Kagemusha
georgeman51
discovery1
FactionHeir
Joe Monks

Killed:
Tratorix
Omanes Alexandrapolites
Andres
Craterus
LittleGrizzly
TevashSzat
Crazed Rabbit
woad&fangs

Executed:
Privateerkev
Elite Ferret
peverpink

[GeneralHankerchief]

We have a tie vote between FactionHeir and TinCow. Here's how things are going to go down:

All votes are wiped. The voting round will start again.
All votes must be for either FH or TinCow (or abstain of course).

You have 24 hours, at which time the person with the most votes will be lynched. WoGs will happen at the end of the tiebreaker round.

Day 4 tally:
FactionHeir: 3 (TinCow, makaikhaan, Gaius Scribonius Curio)
TinCow: 3 (Sasaki Kojiro, Beefy187, FactionHeir)
makaikhaan: 1 (Ichigo)*
Kommodus: 1 (Sigurd Fafnesbane)
Sasaki Kojiro: 1 (KukriKhan)
|Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88: 1 (Kommodus)
KukriKhan: 1 (Rythmic)
Sarathos: 1 (Seamus Fermanagh)
Caius: 1 (Sarathos)*

*Sarathos's vote for khaan is void because he forgot to unvote Caius.

Abstained: 4 (shlin28, CountArach, Kagemusha, Joe Monks)
Didn't vote: Everyone else.

[GeneralHankerchief]

It had been a long evening. Chief of Police Beirut, desperate to get home in time to watch his favorite television program (Parking Wars), was mortified to learn that there had been a tie vote and that voting was to thus be extended. Several times he had been fingering his pistol, itching to take it out and blast both "finalists" just to end this thing.

"After all, they're probably both guilty," he mused. "I'm doing the town a favor." But of course, he didn't shoot, as if restrained by some unspoken force, some overser of the town.

Eventually, things finally sorted themselves out (after Parking Wars had finished, of course), and TinCow, lawyer extraordinare, was determined guilty of killing several citizens of the Kingdom of Peace and Love.

"TinCow," Beirut said, "You are hereby found guilty of murder, which, by the state of New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice, falls into the category of 2C:11-2: Criminal homicide." TinCow suddenly started sweating bullets as Beirut pulled out a stack of papers and began reading.

"Criminal homicide, defined as when a person is guilty if he purposely, knowingly, recklessly or, under the circumstances set forth in 2C:11-5, which I will address at a later time, causes the death of another human being. Criminal homicide is divided into subcategories of murder, manslaughter, or death by auto, the charge of murder having already been specified in your case in the first paragraph of my monologue."

The crowd already started filing away. They wanted blood, not somebody droning on and on about somebody's crime! This was highly unlike Beirut.

"Section 2C:11-2.1," Beirut said, "Murder. Now, according to the aforementioned New Jersey Code of Criminal Justice, which doesn't even really apply here but it's the first code I could get my hand on, criminal homicide constitutes murder when:

(1) The actor, in this case being you, purposely causes death or serious bodily injury resulting in death; or

(2) The actor, again, being you, knowingly causes death or serious bodily injury resulting in death; or

(3) It is committed when the actor, still you, acting either alone or with one or more other persons, is engaged in the commission of, or an attempt to commit, or flight after committing or attempting to commit robbery, sexual assault (doesn't really apply to you, or at least I hope it doesn't), arson, burglary, kidnapping, carjacking, criminal escape or terrorism perusant to section 2 of P.L.2002, clause 26 (C.2C:38-2), and in the course of such crime or of immediate flight therefrom, any person causes the death of a person other than one of the participants; except that in any prosecution of this subsection, in which the defendant was not the only participant in the underlying crime, it is an affirmative defense that the defendant... I'm just going to skip over this part because it doesn't really apply since this isn't a proper court per se, so we'll just move onto...

(4) ...any person convicted under subsection a.(1) or (2) who committed the homicidal act by his own conduct; or who as an accomplice procured the commission of the offense by payment or promise of paymentof anything of pecuniary value, pecuniary defined by dictionary.com as an adjective; 'of or pertaining to money'; or who, as a leader of a narcotics trafficking network as defined in N.J. Section 2, Clause 35-3, and in furtherance of a conspiracy enumarated in N.J. Section 2, Clause 35-3, commanded or by threat or promise solicited the commission of the offense, or, if the murder occured during the comission of the crime of terrorism, any person who committed the crime of terrorism, shall be sentenced by the court to life imprionment without eligibility for parole (for our purpose, we'll change this section to read 'immediate execution'), which sentence shall be served in a maximum security prison (again, this will be changed), if a jury finds beyond a reasonable doubt that any of the following aggravating factors exist:

(a) The defendant has been convicted, at any time, of another murder. This is you, since you've killed multiple people. For purposes of this section, a conviction shall be deemed final when sentence is imposed and may be used as an aggravating factor regardless of whether it is on appeal;

(b) In the commission of the murder, the defendant purposely or knowingly created a grave risk of death to another person in addition to the victim;

(c) The murder was outrageously or wantonly vile, horrible or inhuman in that it involved torture, depravity of mind, or an aggravated assault to the victim (I think the one where you ran over TevashSzat twice before shooting him twice at point-blank range with a shotgun qualifies here);

(d) The defendant committed the murder as consideration for the receipt, or in expectation of the receipt of anything of pecuniary, again defined by dictionary.com as an adjective; 'of or pertaining to money'; value;

(e) The defendant procured-"

"TOO... MUCH... LAW!!!"

"Er, procured... the commission..."

But Beirut's continued droning had become inaudible over TinCow's screaming. Having studied and practiced law all of his adult life, he had finally snapped, declaring "enough" when having a point-black definition of his alleged crime directed at him. Shaking and sweating all over, his hands had moved up to his head, where, after seemingly little effort, TinCow ripped his own ears out in order to make it stop. His head quickly turning into a multiple-spouted red fountain, he reached over to Beirut, wrenched the gun out of his holster, and blasted it at the general direction of himself, not really bothering to aim it. He pulled the trigger again and again, just trying to make contact with something that would end the pain, and finally fell over, dead, after many shots fired.

Beirut quickly got over his shock and addressed the crowd.

"Well," he said, trying to find the right words, "Let this be a lesson to how powerfully boring law can be. Best if you don't get into it at... oh, my Lord..."

Beirut had then noticed what had happened to TinCow's errant shots. They had miraculously connected with four people's heads, and Mithrandir, Fenring, Lord Winter, and georgeman51 were all on the ground, dead, along with |Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88, who had inexplicably committed seppuku."

"Uh... I hope to God that one of them was mafia," Beirut said. But in his mind, he was thinking that he was going to have to clean this mess up, and he wouldn't even get home in time to view the late-night episode of Parking Wars.

Day 4a tally:

TinCow: 8 (FactionHeir, Sigurd Fafnesbane, CountArach, discovery1, Sasaki Kojiro, shlin28, Kommodus, Joe Monks)
FactionHeir: 5 (Gaius Scribonius Curio, Sarathos, makaikhaan, Quintus.J.Cicero, TinCow)

Abstained: 1 (KukriKhan)
Sasaki Kojiro: 1 (Seamus Fermanagh) (invalid) (now on double-secret probation)
Didn't vote: Everyone else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still alive: (21)
Ichigo
RoadKill
TinCow
shlin28
makaikhaan
Sasaki Kojiro
Sigurd Fafnesbane
Caius
Gaius Scribonius Curio
Sarathos
Beefy187
Tiberius of the Drake
KukriKhan
CountArach
Kommodus
Rythmic
Seamus Fermanagh
Quintus.J.Cicero
Kagemusha
discovery1
FactionHeir
Joe Monks

Suicide/Wrath of God:
|Sith|R|AntiWarmanCake88
Mithrandir
Fenring
Lord Winter
georgeman51

Killed:
Tratorix
Omanes Alexandrapolites
Andres
Craterus
LittleGrizzly
TevashSzat
Crazed Rabbit
woad&fangs

Executed:
Privateerkev
Elite Ferret
peverpink
TinCow

PMs please.