English?

[Samurai Waki]

Only if you love the fresh pine smell of the forests, and the taste of real maple syrup will you ever be considered Canadian... eh, wait a second...?

[PBI]

Knowing how to spell "colour" means you aren't American, which is all you really need to know.

Anyway,

Your handlebar moustache:
a) Makes you look ridiculous.
b) is more important than your career.

[Tribesman]

@Tribes, I have yet to aquire a German husband...
Any suggestions?

Yes Move to Iran , tell them you think you like men they diagnose you as sick and give you an operation on the social health and say you are a woman , then you are now able to get a german husband .

[GoreBag]

You wouldn't want to be English anyway.

[English assassin]

To be English is to have won the lottery of life. The English gentleman is the pinnacle of evolution

We've always known the French think this, (what else could have explained De Gaulle's chippyness?) but I must say, its jolly refreshing to see they can bring themselves to say it.

Another qu for your Am I English quiz:

Spotted Dick is?

a) More or less inevitable after two weeks on holiday in Faleriki
b) nice with custard

And a completely infallable test: if someone treads on your toe, do YOU apologise?

[InsaneApache]

I elbow them. Then look innocent.

[CountArach]

And a completely infallable test: if someone treads on your toe, do YOU apologise?

Oh my God - I am British.

This is like a mid life crisis. At 18.

[Incongruous]

Oh my God - I am British.

This is like a mid life crisis. At 18.

Oh dear, just go have another Fosters.

[LittleGrizzly]

And a completely infallable test: if someone treads on your toe, do YOU apologise?

Of course! how unreasonable for my foot to have been in this persons way and given them an uneven walking surface

[Banquo's Ghost]

Oh my God - I am British.

No, this reaction is entirely English. A Scot, for example, would respond with a Glasgow kiss.

2) Fags
a) yikes!
b) I puff them all the time.

An understandable mistake for a foreigner, but the answers to this question do not indicate a gentleman but a person of trade.

The correct response for a gentleman is:

c) I used to have them, but now I have a butler

[Tribesman]

The correct response for a gentleman is:

c) I used to have them, but now I have a butler

That could be taken several ways Banquo
When did you last have your butler and was it satisfying ?

[InsaneApache]

You're beginning to remind me of Flashman BQ.

[Banquo's Ghost]

That could be taken several ways Banquo
When did you last have your butler and was it satisfying ?

The double entendre was entirely intentional, old fruit. And there's only one way to take one's butler, but postillions are more flexible.

[CountArach]

The double entendre was entirely intentional, old fruit. And there's only one way to take one's butler, but postillions are more flexible.

Everyone knows that poms only call people Old Bean. I question your Britishness!

[Gaius Scribonius Curio]

Everyone knows that poms only call people Old Bean. I question your Britishness!

And I for one, sir, believe that you are mistaken...

[Rhyfelwyr]

No, this reaction is entirely English. A Scot, for example, would respond with a Glasgow kiss.

I can assure you that is not true. You would only get a Glasgow kiss if there was a pack of neds (chavs), since they always have to outnumber you at least 5 to 1. Plus most people (including me) say sorry. In fact both people in the incident would say sorry as a natural reaction.

I am very Scottish. All Scottish family tree, a teuchter parent so I roll my r's, with a part Northern Irish side of the family that originally came from Govan. I'm some sort of Calvinist stereotype. Even in my personality. I am dull, stoic, and manage to avoid having fun, and tell myself off when I do. And I support Rangers as well as my local team, in the Scottish tradition.