Baktrian D-Day in Greece

[Rycalawre]

The Baktrian Reich rised to the greatest nation of mankind. The inferior people of Arche Seleukeia and Ptolemaioi failed how the evolution decided. They got subjugated by the Baktrian Reich and remain only shady memories. Their skeleton of their soldiers and generals are covered with sand and earth in the infinte vastness of the East.

Few Greeks resist Baktria to restore the Reich of Alexander the Great. But the Baktrians won't rest until their task is done. They are eager to fight. Sie fordern Land und Boden! (They demand territory and soil) The Grossreich of Baktrian Nation won't fail to restore the will of their great ancestors!


They have two choices: They could fight an endless war through the Hellespont down to the greek city states under huge casulties. Or they stab a dagger from behind right in the heart of the Greek Empire! The only obstacle to forfill their god given task are the waters of the Aegean Sea!



Early spring, 173 BC


The waters are calm, the swords cut, the mind invigorated by the Baktrian propaganda machinery. The troups gathered on Creta, the last preparations are done. The Baktrian Fuhrer held a last monumental speech in front of thousands of true sons of Baktria!



Later spring, 173 BC


Anchors awaigh! The winds are good, a good sign of the gods! The Baktrian fleet under the command of the Great Admiral Triballos, a pure son of Baktria, is sailing directly towards the idyllic coastline of Greece. But the idyll is deceiving! The Baktrian soldiers thirst for blood and they will be no hold to draw them back from massacres of unreachable dimension! The Baktrian Intelligence Service has announced there will be no resistance in the Greek cities.


Summer, 173 BC


Like a leaking poison barrel, the Baktrian troups outpoor over the Greek landscape, about to poisonig all. The orders are simple: Find, torture, and kill! Four Greek cities are under siege, they have not the slightest chance to escape or defend them. The kosher butchering stations of the Baktrian Gendarmerie are already built, to absorb the uncountable number of people caught in the cities. The executioners are whetting the knifes all day long, awaiting thousands of thoats to be cut.


Autumn, 173 BC


The most important job is done, the Greek spine is in crumbs. The wine casks are opened to drive the Baktrian soldiers in their looting spree. But there's more blood spilling than wine is served. The base is laid, the army is moving to the north. The rest is a formal matter: The Greeks are done!



Baktria uber alles! Seig heil!

[hrrypttrbst]

How did you get the desert in Arabia i've never been able to get there.

[Frodge]

Bloody hell that empire is huge! What version are you playing?

[Chaotix]

Wow, still on .8? (answer to hrrypttrbst's question)
You must have been working on this for a long time! Are you going to continue it as an AAR?

[Rycalawre]

How did you get the desert in Arabia i've never been able to get there.

We must confess we modded a bit the governor's palace we gave it a 20% happiness boost. We did this for several reasons:

1. When we had a full stack in a Arab city, 400 people rioted against them and killed about 25% of it (~1000 soldiers). Especially when one of our regular army was in it was quite a frustration when the Saba army did no damage but 400 citizens were a big threat. We know that the desert is hard to control in reality but

2. we decided that we want to set the focus on war campaining and so we don't have to spend more time in administration than in warfare.

But we have to say we did'nt cheat until we fulfilled the victory condition and we took Arabia before it. After that we decided to make the administration a bit easier.



We still play 0.81, we play for quite a year now.

[Havok.]

lol
he must be, playing as a hellenic faction speaking english/german, o.O
and for having the patience to build that empire lolz

[ezekiel2517]

Sieg and not Seig. You are a sick person, really.

i have to agree on this one. Very graphic slaughter

[tapanojum]

Awesome empire, but you got problems bro

[Hax]

Problems with -what- exactly?

[RawPower]

That is an impressive Baktrian empire, you must have spent some hours on it?

[The General]

Nice empire, and nice invasion, but...

"The Baktrian Reich"?
"The inferior people of Arche Seleukeia and Ptolemaioi failed how the evolution decided"?
"The Reich of Alexander the Great"?
"Sie fordern Land und Boden!"?
"The Grossreich of Baktrian Nation"?
"The Baktrian Fuhrer"?
"A pure son of Baktria"?
"The kosher butchering stations of the Baktrian Gendarmerie"?
"Baktria uber alles! Seig heil!"?

Seriously dude, what the hell?

[Dumbass]

LOL! This is the funniest AAR I have ever read. Make Die Baktrian Fuhrer proud!

[Havok.]

i think he's a *cough* nazi *cough*lol joking

[Chaotix]

I think he's just joking around and trying to make it funny. I don't think he actually believes that way about his Baktrion Reich...

[General Appo]

Wouldn´t Operation Sealion or Barbarossa be a more fitting name than D-Day?

[Ayce]

Yep, Seelöwe would be more suited.

[The General]

Maybe it's just me, but I've usually considered the nazi humour to be the kind of humour you just don't do in 'public'. Meh.

That, and considering it's tha internets, y'know never know, really.

[Cadwalader]

What would've made this ace is if someone actually chose to defy the awesome strength of the Baktrian reich, but who would possess such foolhearted bravery!

[Irishmafia2020]

Role playing Indo-Greek Nazi's, - that is original. I suppose I would tend to want to role play the resistance to such a huge empire, but then again you can justify all out extermination this way... Plus you get to use the language of propaganda, and at least you aren't using the Sweboz (that would actually be offensive)! Perhaps the Romans are really communists willing to die for the proletarian struggle as well...

[Jolt]

I don't see any problems with Nazi jokes. Their jokes because Nazism is past. And most people's ankward reactions to this joke proves just that.

[General Appo]

... Plus you get to use the language of propaganda, and at least you aren't using the Sweboz (that would actually be offensive)!

It would? Hmmm.... perhaps in the future I shall start an AAR from my old 1.0 Sweboz save, and we´ll see just how offensive I can make it.
Surely, my empire is dangerously short of Lebensraum.

[The General]

I've accustomed to nazi jokes, we've had them aplenty in our group of friends.

However, what is not so okay is when a (certain) friend, drunk, starts throwing nazi/white supremacy "jokes". In a bus. With a few black guys in it. Not cool. He says they're just jokes and that he just tries to irritate me, but sometimes he just sounds a bit too serious. Not cool.

Then you read/watch stuff like this (digg-link'd yesterday). Reminds you, that all that bullshittery called nazism etc. isn't completely in the past, unfortunately. Makes all those nazi jokes etc. seem like not so funny anymore. So, I've become less inclined towards such jokes.

Although, I must say, a certain Monty Python skit cracks me up each time.

But, on the whole, most likely, this was overreaction from me, caused by reading/watching neo-nazi/white supremacy-related articles and video clips just before finding this thread.

As I said in my previous post... Meh.

PS. I agree with the Unternehmen Seelöwe-thing.

[Dutchhoplite]

Who's family died in german concentrationcamps??

Mine did...

So who wants to tell a good nazi joke?? I want to laugh too!

[keravnos]

Patris= "Land of our fathers", from "Pat(e)r"=father and the ending -"is" which denominates place.
Later on by the time of EB, it had evolved into "homeland".

compare that to

Country= "land of the count".

I think it is time to re-legalize some of the most important words in IndoEuropean common dictionary that the Nazis appropriated and never quite gave it back. "Fatherland" is too important to be left to them.

What it all comes down to, and this is why I think this AAR is hilarious, is that the Ubermensch (superman in german) of the Baktrians would be IndoIranians like the Kamboja (light IndoIranian cav.) or the Bahlikas (Baktrian cav.) and one of its elite infantry would be the Sreni swordaxe carrying guild infantry. They would be the big bulk of the army with hellenic phallanx and Baktrion agema as a smaller part of the army. Elite cavalry and the bodyguard would deffinitely be Hellenic, but the majority of the troops wouldn't.

In fact Baktrians were the most accepting and "non-xenophobic" of all the Diadochoi. Which makes this AAR all the more amusing.

[Swordmaster]

I think it is time to re-legalize some of the most important words in IndoEuropean common dictionary that the Nazis appropriated and never quite gave it back. "Fatherland" is too important to be left to them.

And the symbols, too. So we don't get stupid tourists asking what the Nazis did to the floor of the Amiens cathedral.

[Jolt]

Bleh, all jokes are normally directed to something (gender/nationality/race/etc), now should I feel insulted by portuguese jokes brazilian regularly make about us? I couldn't care anything less.. I make jokes about black people in front of my black friends and they don't give a damn. I have some Sephardic Jewish blood (So says my father), so should I be really sensibilized and shocked when someone tells me a Nazi joke? Nope, and yet I find Nazi jokes the most funny I can remember of. They're jokes, and jokes are supposed to make fun of someone. Since the holocaust happened regrettably, people make fun of that. Just as I'm sure in a few decades, people might do jokes about terrorists and americans, 9/11 et al. (I'm not sure if they already do. If they do, those jokes haven't arrived in Portugal yet) Sad events later lead to jokes. And their created because normally their funny to people. Preventing from laughing at a joke "out of respect" for the sensibility of many victims and their famillies of the holocaust is just silly.

[Tyrfingr]

So who wants to tell a good nazi joke?? I want to laugh too!

Hitler and his chauffeur was driving along the German countryside when they suddenly felt a bump under the car. They looked outside and saw that they have rammed a sheep.

- Don't you worry, said Hitler, to the chauffeur. I'll go explain to the farmer that we have killed one of his sheeps. And Hitler walked up to the farm-house and was gone for a long time...

Soon, Hitler returned bruised up and were almost beaten to a pulp. He got into the car and screamed:
"Good lord, these people are crazy here, beating you senseless for killing a sheep! Let's go away as fast as possible".

When they started to drive, they immediately felt another bump under the car. They looked outside against and saw that they had run over a pig.

Well, I'm not going up to that crazy farmer again, said Hitler. Chauffeur, you'll go!

And so the scared chauffeur walked up the farm-house and was gone for a long time. But then he returned, with a basket filled with wine-bottles, expensive sausages and cheese. Astonished, Hitler asked the driver: What the hell did you tell the farmer? And the chauffeur answered:

I got up to the cabin and said "Heil Hitler. The pig is dead and it was me who ran over him".

[Hax]

Bleh, all jokes are normally directed to something (gender/nationality/race/etc), now should I feel insulted by portuguese jokes brazilian regularly make about us? I couldn't care anything less.. I make jokes about black people in front of my black friends and they don't give a damn. I have some Sephardic Jewish blood (So says my father), so should I be really sensibilized and shocked when someone tells me a Nazi joke? Nope, and yet I find Nazi jokes the most funny I can remember of. They're jokes, and jokes are supposed to make fun of someone. Since the holocaust happened regrettably, people make fun of that. Just as I'm sure in a few decades, people might do jokes about terrorists and americans, 9/11 et al. (I'm not sure if they already do. If they do, those jokes haven't arrived in Portugal yet) Sad events later lead to jokes. And their created because normally their funny to people. Preventing from laughing at a joke "out of respect" for the sensibility of many victims and their famillies of the holocaust is just silly.

Exactly. Also, people tend to forget that "The Holocaust" wasn't the -only- thing in history in which people got murdered on a big scale. Take the Holodomor in Ukraine for example.

Being somewhat of a "pagan" (though I despise that term), should I be offended when people make jokes about witches being burned at the stake in the Middle Ages?

Edit: Also:

and was gone for a long time...

Soon,

Ehm..what?

[Lysimachos]

Well, making jokes about Nazis is one matter, though a matter which can be discussed, when it is capable of trivializing.
Utilizing nazi terminology in a glorifying or affirmative way is something completely different. There are many people deliberately using nazi terminology and projecting nazi ideology on something they do, because they identify with it or because they think it's "cool". But it is not, it marks the most terrible episode of mankind's history until now and hopefully for the future, too.
I don't know if it meant to be a joke or not. Even if it is, the chosen way (a positive, affirmative approach) shows disrespect towards all who suffered under the nazi reign and a belittlement of its actions.

Just my opinion on what is acceptable and what is not.

By the way: The choice of a historically rather "non-xenophobic" state doesn't make it amusing but at best ridiculous, imho.

Edit:

Exactly. Also, people tend to forget that "The Holocaust" wasn't the -only- thing in history in which people got murdered on a big scale. Take the Holodomor in Ukraine for example.

Though there have been many occasions when people got murdered on abig scale there never has been any comparably systematic and inhuman administration of the annihilation of life than under the nazis, which gives it a wholly different quality than most other occasions.
Not that i would legitimate to make jokes about victims of crimes of humanity in other times or locations!

[Dumbass]

Well, making jokes about Nazis is one matter, though a matter which can be discussed, when it is capable of trivializing.
Utilizing nazi terminology in a glorifying or affirmative way is something completely different. There are many people deliberately using nazi terminology and projecting nazi ideology on something they do, because they identify with it or because they think it's "cool". But it is not, it marks the most terrible episode of mankind's history until now and hopefully for the future, too.
I don't know if it meant to be a joke or not. Even if it is, the chosen way (a positive, affirmative approach) shows disrespect towards all who suffered under the nazi reign and a belittlement of its actions.

Just my opinion on what is acceptable and what is not.

By the way: The choice of a historically rather "non-xenophobic" state doesn't make it amusing but at best ridicoulus, imho.

How could this NOT be a joke? It's Baktria, as the Nazis!
Baktria!
Nazis!
If you couldn't see that it was a joke just from that, then I'm sorry my friend but I must question your sense of humour. Also the fact that his hilarious writing style did not make it obvious?

The time has passed in which we should hold back our humour on this particular subject just to be politically correct. People have always made jokes about past atrocities. It is only when we can make jokes about it that we can come to terms with it and accept that it happened. I have many jewish friends who often joke about Hitler and sometimes the holocaust. Yes, it was a horrible thing that happened, but the jokes are intended to mock and make fun of the Nazi's and their actions.

I want to find out what happens next from the Baktrian Reich.