I know the OP mentioned wanting elephants and super-heavy cav (which my favorite doesn't have), but I find it difficult to believe nobody else likes Getai.

Getai are awesome! You get cheap, super-lethal infantry, horse-archers, elite super-lethal infantry, excellent medium cav. . . and lots of silly Greeks and Romans to try all your toys out on.

Did I mention gold mines? lots of those
Did I mention sea trade? lots of that (after you take Greece)

Getai get to fight everybody. Want to fight againts phalanxes? Go to Greece/Asia minor.
Tired of phalanxes? Go to Italy.
Tired of heavily-armored foes? Go to Germany or Gaul.
Tired of infantry battles? The steppes are a few short provinces to the northeast!

Getai have it all, baby!