Coping with Bi-Polar

[Redleg]

Here I was just looking through the backroom, doing a bit of trolling just to pass some time away before going to bed, after a long day working on the railroad. Stuck in the middle of nowhere Colorado, and my wife just called me and said she was on the way to the emergency room because she just took a bunch of pills because she was upset about her weight. My $$%%$# god how does one cope with a bi-polar wife after all these years. 6 times in the damn hospital over the last 4 years, 2 sucide attempts, (now possibily 3) and running up credit card bills to the point that I can't afford the crap. (oh yea the evils of the american credit system. No regard to the fact that she can't pay for the damn thing - and gets them anyway.......without me knowing about them until the damn things,...)

The bad thing is that if I divorce her, it will cause her to attempt suicide again, and the bad thing for me is that I still love the crazy woman....

Oh well guess no sleep for me tonight and a long tried day tomorrow trying to finish my job so I can leave and get home.

God how I hate this curse called bi-polar.

[Lemur]

That's tough stuff, Redleg. My thoughts are with you, and my prayers. I dated a bi-polar girl back in the 1800s when I was young, and it was ... memorable. I can only imagine how much excitement accrues to marrying a woman with that condition.

I'm truly sorry to hear she's messing with your finances in the ways that only a spouse can ...

-edit-

I'm sure this is nothing you haven't seen before, but just in case:

How to survive in a marriage when your spouse is Bipolar
Marriage & Manic Depression: Making It Work
Bipolar: Beating the Marriage Odds

[Redleg]

That's tough stuff, Redleg. My thoughts are with you, and my prayers. I dated a bi-polar girl back in the 1800s when I was young, and it was ... memorable. I can only imagine how much excitement accrues to marrying a woman with that condition.

I'm truly sorry to hear she's messing with your finances in the ways that only a spouse can ...

The finance thing I can handle, since working is not all that big a deal for me, been doing it pretty steady since I can remember - growing up on a farm with a father who had his own construction business, means he had cheap labor as soon as we were strong enough to lift a 50 pound bag of grain.

So well its troublesome to work your ass off to pay off a debt, only to have another pop up, its something I can handle without getting to upset.

Its the damn sucide attempts and self-medication crap that she does that really stresses me to my limit. You bounce from I wish she would just stop attempting sucide and actually accomplish it, to feeling guilty for having that tought, to wondering why did you miss the signs that she might be head down that path once again. So I end up with a whole huge parcel of guilt not of my own making that damnit keeps me from getting any real sleep.

Then what throws the icing on the cake is watching some rich dumb ass hollywood type blaming all their woes on depression or the current dejoure of hollywood, bi-polar. Over half of those dumb asses would not know what true bi-polar people go through on a daily basis if someone hit them over the head with it.

And what makes matters worse for my wife is she is a rapid cycle bi-polar ( its got a technical name to, but I never remember it) she goes through manic-depression cycles about 3 times a year. And I finally thought we finally found the right combination of medications to help her maintain some control over the manic and lessen the effects of the depression - but the weight gain from the meds set her mind into taking pills so she wouldn't eat.

[seireikhaan]

I'm sorry, Redleg. Bipolar is a really tough thing to deal with. My brother is bipolar too. Honestly, your wife's story reminds me of my brother before he got straightened out, only he swapped the credit cards for alcohol. However, I cannot say absolutely for certain what has gotten him on the straight path. This is mainly because I stopped living with him when I reached about 13, because my parents were divorced, and I lived with my dad while he was with my mother. Plus, we got along really poorly for a while, because he tended to vent his anger and frustration at smaller objects than himself, me being one of the primary targets.

However, I know for him, a few things helped. First, he stopped drinking truckloads of mountain dew(he used to just carry 2 liters around with him). Apparently large amounts of caffeine will render the meds inefficient. He also stopped hanging around with some of his friends who were poor influences on him, and he drastically cut his alcohol intake(though he by no means cut it completely). However, he'd also had years of counseling, so its quite possible that many of these things were simply results of the the counseling, and not actual behavioral causes themselves. A little after that, he managed to get a steady job doing what he love doing; fixing cars. I think that's what really has helped him out the most, being able to occupy his time with something productive that he loves doing. Does your wife have a job, Redleg?

[Redleg]

I'm sorry, Redleg. Bipolar However, I know for him, a few things helped. First, he stopped drinking truckloads of mountain dew(he used to just carry 2 liters around with him). Apparently large amounts of caffeine will render the meds inefficient. He also stopped hanging around with some of his friends who were poor influences on him, and he drastically cut his alcohol intake(though he by no means cut it completely). However, he'd also had years of counseling, so its quite possible that many of these things were simply results of the the counseling, and not actual behavioral causes themselves. A little after that, he managed to get a steady job doing what he love doing; fixing cars. I think that's what really has helped him out the most, being able to occupy his time with something productive that he loves doing. Does your wife have a job, Redleg?

Oh glad to hear your brother is doing well with the condition.

Unfortunely for my wife the best med combinations but her sodium and potasium levels at a life threatening point and the meds had to be changed after 3 years of great success. Then over the last 2 years we have been in the rapid cycle changes as we work with the doctors on getting the meds right again.

[Louis VI the Fat]

Sorry to hear about your wife, Red. Hope the two of you will be okay. My thoughts are with you.

Venting on the internet helps! Don't hesitate to get it all out over here!

the bad thing for me is that I still love the crazy woman....

Bless you. You've got a great heart.

[seireikhaan]

Oh glad to hear your brother is doing well with the condition.

Unfortunely for my wife the best med combinations but her sodium and potasium levels at a life threatening point and the meds had to be changed after 3 years of great success. Then over the last 2 years we have been in the rapid cycle changes as we work with the doctors on getting the meds right again.

Hmm. That's really unfortunate about the meds. I'm surprised at the potassium thing, I'd heard of sodium levels sometimes getting out of whack, but never potassium before. But as I said before, does she have a job? Is there some kind of activity that she enjoys that could occupy her time, so at the least she's not sitting around watching the lives of celebrities? Especially if that activity could help her manage her weight a little better, it could help kill two birds with one stone. Even extended walks, or going to the park or something simple, to help take her mind off things, minimize the influence of the tv, and keep her away from malls and stores with the credit cards.

[PanzerJaeger]

Sorry man, thats rough.

I don't know anything in depth about bi-polar, but I would suggest putting your wife on an allowance. I know finances are secondary right now, but debt can be a huge burden in itself.

[DemonArchangel]

*snip*
However, I know for him, a few things helped. First, he stopped drinking truckloads of mountain dew(he used to just carry 2 liters around with him). Apparently large amounts of caffeine will render the meds inefficient. *snip*

I learned this hard way. I drastically cut my caffeine intake in recent months. Never felt better.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Good luck Redleg, and good luck to your wife as well.

I still love the crazy woman....

That's very touching, and very good of you. You have my sincere respect.

[Kralizec]

I never knew a lot about Bi-Polar disorder, but from what I've read here it sounds rough. Good luck for you and your wife, Redleg.

[Geoffrey S]

There are too many people who have carry that burden alone, and suffer all the more for it. It's all to easy to misunderstand.

I for one am glad that your wife has you helping her through the rough patches, Redleg, and truly admire the fact that you keep loving her.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Redleg is a good guy. Everybody on this board has faith in him to do the right thing.

[Ser Clegane]

My best wishes and the hope for brighter times to you and your family, Redleg.

Feel free to use this place to "vent" as people here care for you

[Don Corleone]

You're in my thoughts and prayers, Redleg. My biological father had bipolar disorder. Things didn't work out for him, because he got misdiagnosed and his psychiatist put him on a medication for schizophrenia (this was in the 80s). I've also had a couple of friends who've dealt with it (and chemical depression) over the years. Sometimes I wonder if my own moodiness isn't the precursor, but I know it's leagues different.

As for the running up the credit cards, I'm not certain, but I think you can have them shut off and put a lock on them that it would take both of you turning them on to open any new accounts.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Man Redleg that's tough. I hope you two figure this out, or rather continue to manage her condition.

My brother was diagnosed with bipolar a while back. I really don't know if it was a false diagnosis, or if he grew out of it, if that's possible. But he had a rough 5-6 years and continues to have a lot of issues. I'm pretty sure he isn't on any meds anymore though, and he does seem to be doing better, but I don't really know what's his deal. I was young when he got diagnosed and hospitalized a couple of times so I don't know exactly what happened. From that experience I know that bipolar is really tough and I wish you the best of luck in dealing with your wife's condition.