For me, the historical accuracy is not particularly important when roleplaying. Rather, the best element is concentrating on the persons who emerege through the campaign and trying to get a feel for their whims. Especially the king and the heirs, but also powerful generals and important governors.
To do this right one has to approach it with a no-holes-barred kind of mentality. Everything goes - heir assasinations, king assasinations, generals assasinating governors whose titles they covet, etc - what would they have done? Also it helps if you play with green generals and confine yourself to troop production only when your monarch is at 5 or lower influence, since loyalty really soars for new units at higher values.
EDIT: You want low "inherent" loyalty because you want more civil wars. Plain and simple.
Make exceptions to your own rules only when it's needed in order to continue having fun. Boring rules obviously should not be used, the point is to make the game more enjoyable.
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