Depression

[pevergreen]

Sorry for bringing this up again.

I'm having a really hard day today.
and i don't want to talk about it because its hard for me to.
even though i have everyone around me. being there for me. i feel like im by
myself. like nobody understands what i'm going through. and sometimes i just wish it
would all just go away. but it wont.
so i think to myself what's the easiest way out. and you know what happened the last
time i tried to find the easy way. i hope you will never try because the world would
lose such a wonderful person.
I'm not asking you to forget about me but right now i just need to be alone.
i need to sort out my own problems. before i do something i regret.
you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. and i don't want to lose
you. but if i don't do this i'm afraid i'm going to end up regretting everything
which i don't want to.
perhaps after everything has finished when everything is not so complicated anymore
we could try again.
but for now. i need to look after myself. before anything else because if i don't
i'm afraid of what i will do.
i love you so much and i always will. you are the person i can always turn to.
and i hope we can still be friends. i will always be there for you. wether you need
someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. and in hope you would do the same for
me. i would tell you this all in person but i am afraid that i would not be able to,
therefore not sharing my true feeling with you.
i never want to lose you. and i would do anything to change the way i am feeling
right now but i can't and this is why i have to end it.
i love you so much


kp. Xxx

In my experience with depression, she's at the lowest point. I had the moment, when I realised something needed to go, and after it went, it got better. Not immediately, but over time. I think she has got there. Sacrifices are needed, and I've been sacrificed. So be it.


(off topic for a moment, i love controlling emotions. I find that anger is super effective against sadness. Time to go get angry.)