Mini Simpsons Mafia (Game Thread) [Concluded]

[Quintus.JC]

We can't lose.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Tally

Ibn-Khaldun- 2
El Diablo-2
Quintus.JC- 1
Elite Ferret- 1

Still no vote by El Diablo... you guys have 2 hours. Dark clouds loom in your future.

[Askthepizzaguy]

The vigilante killing:

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Darkness looms over the Kwik-E-Mart… black clouds shut out all light from the sun, save for a few small fingers of light. A man wearing a trench coat walks towards the sliding glass doors, which slide open gracefully.

Apu-“Hello, my gun-wielding friend. What sort of products am I selling to you today?”

The man stops in front of the register and stares into Apu with cold, wrath-filled eyes.

“I am seeing that you are not being friendly today, sir. Might I offer you a Squishee? Three days past expiration, I am giving 10 percent discounted price.”

Man-
“No… I’m not looking for tasty treats, I am seeking to right a terrible wrong in this town.”

Apu-
“If you are threatening me today, sir, might I advise that you point your gun towards my heart, which is on the left side of my body. Are you quite certain that I cannot be selling you some jerky, or a heat lamp dog?”

Man-
“You can sell me a big, tasty glass of shut the hell up!”

Apu-
“Ok sir, there is no need for being hostile. You are more than welcome to take the cash register and also a complimentary Twinkie for not shooting me sir.”

Man-
“You had better pray to whatever gods you believe in, my swarthy-skinned friend.”

Apu-
“Yes, I think so, but that will be taking a long time I think. But I do not believe Ganesha will intervene in this, because I am being shot and robbed many times since I am coming to your country.”

Man-
“I think you’re the murderer… so long, my Hindu friend.”

The man in the trench coat shot Apu directly in the chest with a large shotgun, blowing him back into the Squishee machine, knocking it over. The lights in the store flickered, and the ground was instantly covered with thick, red, pooling liquid.

“That wasn’t very convenient for you, was it?” the shooter quipped. Then he shook his head at how awful that joke was. The figure stood there, staring at Apu’s prone body. Then, he grabbed a bag of cheese doodles and walked out of the store.

When the shooter left the store, Apu slowly sat up and wiped the cherry-flavored Squishee syrup from his body, and examined his bullet-proof vest. The vest seemed to be partially intact, but the shotgun blast from such close range had blown half of it away.

“Shiva H. Vishnu, I am thankful for being shot in the chest enough times to warrant a steel plate to be holding my ribcage together.”

Apu tapped his bloodied chest, and a loud clinking noise resonated.

“But what if I were being shot in the face?” Apu wondered…

__________________________________________

Two lynchings... and no murder.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

"This is Kent Brockman with continuing live coverage of the Night Four lynching. It seems that the townspeople of Springfield have a death wish, because the tradition of a double lynching is being observed once again. This time, the affable Krusty the Clown is on the chopping block, and the dangerously talented Professor Frink is about to be burned at the stake. The mob is carrying pitchforks, burning torches, and some are wearing official Stonecutter regalia."

Krusty-
“Hey, hey! You can’t kill me, I’m one of you! I’m a Stonecutter too!”

Lenny-
“Big deal. Everyone in town is pretty much a Stonecutter.”

Carl-
“Yeah. Now, why don’t you be a good little clown and die in an entertaining manner? For all we know, you’re the mass murderer.”

Krusty-
“But I’m too young to die!”

Professor Frink:
“You’ve been on television since the late fifties. Wouldn’t that make you over seventy?”

Krusty-
“SHUT UP!!!”

Wayland Smithers-
“And your merchandise is all shoddily made and bears your disgusting likeness. You’re a sell-out!”

Monty Burns-
“Oh, is the clown going to be murdered? Excellent. I haven’t seen this kind of entertainment since they fed Daniel to the lions.”

Ned Flanders-
“Oh, so you’ve read the Bible?”

Burns-
“The what?”

Apu-
“I don’t want to be a bother, but I have been shot at point-blank range. Could someone be getting me a doctor?”

Hans Moleman-
“Why am I still alive?”

Kent Brockman-
“Now Krusty the Clown is being tied down, with his head against the block.”

Lenny-
“Who wants to do the honors?”

Burns-
“Smithers, would you be so kind as to raise my hand for me?”

Smithers-
“Oh, sir… you’re far too… uh, strong… to lift that large metal axe. Let me do it for you.”

Hans Moleman-
“Hold on just one second. I’ve been everyone’s punching bag for nearly twenty seasons now… it’s about time someone tasted the sweet revenge of Moleman.”

Kent Brockman-
“It seems Hans Moleman, the survivor of numerous lynching and dozens of accidents at the hands of his fellow townsfolk, has decided to do the vile deed.”

Moleman-
“Uhhh… this axe is quite heavy… I don’t think I can hold it steady.”

Kent Brockman-
“Oh dear lord, it seems the elderly-looking man is attempting to sever Krusty’s head from his body, but is having trouble wielding the giant weapon. He takes a swing and cuts off Krusty’s arm.”

Krusty-
“OWWWW!!! That’s my pie-throwing arm!”

Moleman-
“Oops, sorry. I’ll try again.”

Brockman-
“Moleman swings again and slashes Krusty’s large red nose clean off!”

Krusty-
“OWWWW!!! That’s my pie-smelling nose!”

Moleman-
“Sorry, can’t see too well without my glasses. I wish we had some light out here.”

Brockman-
“And another swing, and this time he impales Krusty’s torso.”

Krusty-
“OWWWW!!! That’s my pie-digesting torso!”

Brockman-
“Ok, that’s quite enough with these awful jokes. I want to know how you guys kill Frink.”

Brockman takes his microphone and jams it into Krusty’s mouth, and stands back to watch the clown choke to death.

Brockman-
“Good. Now, the clown is dead. Let’s kill the nutty professor.”

Flanders-
“How about a nice, old fashioned heretic burning?”

Smithers-
“Let’s get him!”

Frink-
“According to my uh, calculations, Town is now severely, and totally, err….. Screwed. Mmmgguuuoy. And, if I may make one last request?”

Brockman-
“What?”

Frink-
“Please don’t burn me at the stake with the fire and the heat and the painful, melting flesh it hurts me. And also would you please tell my wife I love her, she uh… lights up my life, HOYVIN-GLAVIN!”

Moleman-
“Just die already, you Jerry Lewis wannabe!”

Brockman-
“Now, loyal viewers and news junkies, witness how I, Kent Brockman, set fire to this annoying nerd-thing!”

Frink-
“OH Giant flesh-eating bananas this is very painful how it burns! It burns!!! Help me!!”

Brockman-
“I think it’s just about time for our serial killer to dispose of another miserable citizen of this jerkwater burg. Where are you?”

A man wearing a long trench coat runs past Kent Brockman, and smashes Wayland Smithers in the face with a giant sledgehammer. Unsurprisingly, Smithers is planted to the ground. The killer disappears back into the giant mob before anyone can identify him.

Moleman-
“Oh dear… another innocent victim dies.”

Lenny-
“Maybe now I can get that promotion and a raise I’ve always wanted.”

Burns-
“A raise? I wouldn’t hold your breath.

Smithers, you simple-headed lay-about, get up this instant. I’m getting a bit of a headache and I have an odd craving for endangered white rhino steaks, the rarest bottle of wine in the world, and a dodo egg.”

Smithers-
“Owww….. Right away, sir…”

Burns-
“Excellent.”

Brockman-
“Stunning. It seems that yet another potential victim has been spared. The serial killer, however, remains at large.”

Hans Moleman-
“It’s not me, so don’t even bother.”

Carl-
“I’m getting kind of bored. Once you’ve seen one violent mob lynching, you’ve seen them all. Who wants to play Russian roulette?”

Hans Moleman-
“Not me. I always lose that game.”

Brockman-
“Well, I am stumped. Does anyone have any idea who the serial killer is?”

Apu-
“I still am needing a doctor to stitch me up again!"

Smithers-
“What happened to you?”

Apu-
“Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a shotgun wound to the chest. Thanks be to Ganesha, I did not have to miss work!”

_____________________________________________

Vigilante attempts to kill Elite Ferret, eliminating Apu’s extra life.
Mob lynches El Diablo and Ibn-Khaldun
Craterus is not assassinated.

I did not WOP El Diablo, because no one changed their votes to break the tie, and town is getting plenty of help. And he's dead anyway.
_____________________________________

Ned Flanders - Quintus.JC
Reverend Lovejoy - Sarathos
Chief Wiggum - Tratorix
Hans Moleman - Beefy187
Groundskeeper Willie- Motep
Apu Nahassapeemapetilon - Elite Ferret
Monty Burns - Fenring
Wayland Smithers - Craterus
Krusty the Clown - Ibn-khaldun
Moe the Bartender - Warmaster Horus
Professor Frink - El Diablo
Fat Tony - Lord Winter

Still alive-

Quintus.JC
Beefy187
Elite Ferret
Fenring
Craterus

Dead-

Sarathos
Tratorix
Motep
Ibn-Khaldun
Warmaster Horus
El Diablo
Lord Winter

__________________________________

Begin Day Five

P.S. I gave you guys a few hints.

[Quintus.JC]

What the hell, the game doesn't end?!

Since I'm certain this is the last round of voting, I'll reveal myself. I am the Vigilante, after witnessing the death of Reverent Lovejoy I decided to take the law in my own hands. My alligance is still town, you can see that in the write-ups when I tried to kill Apu. Now the matter seems less clear.

Craterus - He is supposed to be confirmed innocent, so I won't bother with him.
Fenring - Survived one assasination attemp, that leaves him innocent, right?
Beefy - An unlynchable mafia is just crazy!
Quintus. JC - I am the Vigilante with the ability to kill 1 person everyround if I think they're the serial killer (only after the murder of Lovejoy). I was certain either Elite Ferret, El Diablo or Krusty would be the killer so since the other two were lynched I decided to go for Elite Ferret.
Elite Ferret - Dubious, but it would be strange to gave the killer the ability of an extra life from assassinations if he were the killer himself.

So... what do we do now?

[Ferret]

Uhhhh well that write up proves my reveal to you, and yeah the mafia wouldn't have an extra life, because they wouldn't be attacked, unless there was a vigilante, which there is...

Craterus was claimed innocent by host...
Fenring was attacked by mafia...
Beefy: if the mafia is unlynchable then that makes it impossible for the town to win...
Quintus:the mafia wouldn't be the vigilante, but the fact that there was no murder adds a little suspicion, though I think that's more likely because Ibn was the murderer.

I admit I seem the most likely suspect, if I wasn't me I'd vote myself but I know I'm not mafia...

In the other thread ATPG did say he had something in place to stop either side winning too easily, perhaps a former townie has been made into mafia. If this is the case I'd say it's most likely Fenring as ATPG wouldn't say that Craterus is innocent if he wouldn't be for long, unless he's trying to make us lose. However if there is no kill tonight and the game doesn't end I'd say the new mafia is Quintus, and the vigilante thing is a coverup.

For now vote:Fenring

[Ferret]

Ahh so there was an attempt, but Crate survived. I think that clears Quintus, he wouldn't be able to kill twice in one night, then again he was the only one not present at the attempt, unless he was the killer...

[Quintus.JC]

Err. So nobody here got any evidence to accuse anyone, we'll just have to do things the opposite way, process of elimination.

Craterus - all fault will be blamed on ATPG if he was the killer.
Beefy - Been lynched twice, he just can't be the mafia.
Fenring - Survived one attemp, but still doesn't put him in the clear
Quintus - I am the vigilante, I'm supposed to haunt the haunter, not haunt myself.
Elite Ferret - The only person without clear proof, however after my attempt kill on him seemed to prove him sort of innocent, because he wouldn't need the ability of an extra live if he were the killer himself.

I feel like i'm repeating myself, but the scene is seriously quite baffling, the only plausible explanation would be Elite Ferret's one about one of the townie switched alligance. If that's the case than only Beefy and Craterus can be confirmed, since the former has been lynched already and latter only survived an attempt last round. Fenring could of switch sides by now. If Elite Ferret had switched then I should of already killed him. I think the suspicion goes to Fenring for now, maybe after surviving the assassination he known the killer and joined his side.

Vote: Fenring.

[Kralizec]

Or we could go for a more obvious explanation: Elite Ferret is the mafioso in this game, and ATPG decided to give him an extra life so that the vigilante wouldn't knock him out with the first attempt.

If I were the mafia I'd have to kill every possible townie, including mr. Smithers wich wouldn't make sense because I, Charles Montgomery Burns would be hopelessly lost without my loyal slave assistant. He (Craterus/Smithers) was attacked though, not to mention with a giant sledgehammer wich I would never be able to lift.

Beefy seems clear, the only other explanations that make sense would be that ATPG intended the mafioso to be killable by the vigilante only, or that he isn't immortal but can survive a set number of lynchings. I don't believe either of them.

So unless someone else is the vigilante and Quintus is trying to mislead us (wich would be extremely bold), there's only one option left for me:

Vote: Elite Ferret

[Askthepizzaguy]

Well, I'm not convinced that town will win anymore, but now you guys truly appear to be putting on your thinking caps.

Just remember, "the serial killer is not"

[Ferret]

Or we could go for a more obvious explanation: Elite Ferret is the mafioso in this game, and ATPG decided to give him an extra life so that the vigilante wouldn't knock him out with the first attempt.

If I were the mafia I'd have to kill every possible townie, including mr. Smithers wich wouldn't make sense because I, Charles Montgomery Burns would be hopelessly lost without my loyal slave assistant. He (Craterus/Smithers) was attacked though, not to mention with a giant sledgehammer wich I would never be able to lift.

Beefy seems clear, the only other explanations that make sense would be that ATPG intended the mafioso to be killable by the vigilante only, or that he isn't immortal but can survive a set number of lynchings. I don't believe either of them.

So unless someone else is the vigilante and Quintus is trying to mislead us (wich would be extremely bold), there's only one option left for me:

Vote: Elite Ferret

But I was present at the attempted murder of smithers, as is clear in the write up, and was attacked earlier, so unless you are suggesting I'm more than one person I don't see how I could have hit some one with a sledgehammer then commented on it without anyone noticing...

[Quintus.JC]

This is most baffling, often in cases such as this, the least likely person is actually the most supsicious person.

Unvote: Fenring Vote: Askthepizzaguy

[Kralizec]

But I was present at the attempted murder of smithers, as is clear in the write up, and was attacked earlier, so unless you are suggesting I'm more than one person I don't see how I could have hit some one with a sledgehammer then commented on it without anyone noticing...

The same thing applies for me, though.

[Askthepizzaguy]

@EF-

Oooh.

If you'll notice, all of the suspects were present. It's actually very possible for everyone here to have donned a trenchcoat, came out of nowhere, and smashed Smithers in the face, disappeared back into the large assembled crowd, and ditched the coat without anyone seeing him.

It is rather dark and cloudy outside. Tonight, it rains.

So your list of suspects has not been narrowed... except perhaps by some clever reasoning done by...

[Askthepizzaguy]

Add:

For everyone's valuable information, if you vote for Askthepizzaguy, it will not count. You might as well vote Ichigo. And no, it isn't him or anyone else that's not an active player, either. That would be clever but patently unfair. I'm going to have trouble explaining who the serial killer was as it is.

[Ferret]

Flanders wasn't seen or heard after the serial killer struck...

[Askthepizzaguy]

That's a shame-diddley-ame.

[Quintus.JC]

Question for Askthepizzaguy: In your game could Burns be strong enough for the assults? because in the series that would not be possible, and that would clear Fenring of any suspcion.

Unvote: Askthepizzaguy.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Well, I can't answer that question. (Not allowed)

However, if you look at all the murders, successful and failed, you might be able to rule him out. But then again, you might not, because I am Askthepizzaguy and I like to torture townies.

So, I give you my usual ambiguous reply. Figure it out on your own, townie!

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

All in good fun, Quintus. Good effort!

[Quintus.JC]

The best way to ensure for a town win is either double lynch or triple lynch. Although I am able to get rid of one with my vigilante thingy.

Tally:
Fenring 1 (Elite Ferret)
Elite Ferret 1 (Fenring)

[Askthepizzaguy]

Hmm.... that's not very sportsmanlike.

Then you could just lynch/kill everyone but Beefy. I think that if such a thing happens, I may have to step in and say no no. That doesn't seem fair.

I'd randomly execute one of the top vote-getters through Random.org.

So, in short, I've allowed three double lynchings already. No more double or triple lynches.

[Craterus]

vote: Elite Ferret

[Quintus.JC]

No more doubt lynches? very well then:

Vote: Elite Ferret

I make it clear my vendeta against Burns, he won't survive the final round. Only him and Apu have any chance of being the mafia.

[El Diablo]

Sorry about the disappearance I got sick on the wekeend and have had the past two days in bed. Have not even read what has happened - will check in later.

ED

[Ferret]

edit:just to make it clear that wasn't aimed at you El Diablo, I forgot to refresh...

[Quintus.JC]

edit:just to make it clear that wasn't aimed at you El Diablo, I forgot to refresh...

It's not particularly my wish to lynch you, but there are no double lynch allowed. So what will it be? To die by my hand or to be killed by a violent mob. You have to die.

[Ferret]

Yeah as I said before if I wasn't me and hadn't seen my PM I'd vote me, but I am me, and you have seen my PM, did it not have similar text to your townie PM, or did you not get one of those?

[Askthepizzaguy]

It's rather easy to write your own private message and put words in my mouth.

The initial role PM's are useless anyways, because you might be a turncoat, even if your original PM said town.

I'm not accusing EF, just pointing out that such evidence is inadmissible.

[Quintus.JC]

Yes it does make sense, but it seems everyone has prove of their innocences. And Beefy and Craterus' evidence seems to be an unshakable alibi. Its true that you and Fenring also has alibi too, but if that's the case then who the hell is the mafia?

Unvote: Elite Ferret

I'll wait and see what the others thinks.

Edit: Look, Beefy and Craterus can not be the mafia. So it has to be either EF or Fenring. We'll lynch one and I'll dispose of the other. Job done, right?

[Ferret]

That's what we thought last time...

But if you are the mafia then you'll have taken out two opponents, or three if you can kill twice at night and day, and then get a draw on the last day before killing the survivor that night...if YOU are the serial killer then you can win in it two days, if you're not then the town should win tonight.

[Quintus.JC]

I thought being the vigilante cleared me of all suspicion. Let's just make this clear, the vigilante and the serial killer is two different person. I claim to be the vigilante, and no one has accused me of lying yet.