I heard two real funny speeches today while preparing for a battle.

"I know you dont wan't to be here. I don't want to be here either but my mother said to at least make a good show of myself.". Very young general, 16 or 17, and his first battle. I had over 1000 troops and was sieging an Epirot town with only around 300 defenders.

"I am known as somthing of a philosopher. The reason we are here is to kill all of those bastards." This general has a large number of successful battles and took 3 Carthagian cities and won 4 battles with them and took 1 Gaulic city and won 3 battles with them. All together he conquered 12 settlements.

I don't remeber the exact text but when I was attacked at Segesteca by an Epirot stack and my general made a quote about him needing to stay behind his men and far out of the fray of battle. Not from cowardice but from "prudent strategy". I ended up losing the city and my general there died. Even though I was outnumbered 2 to 1 I still killed over half of his men.

I have heard some other funny speeches during play but I laughed my ass off when my general was talking about his mother and saying he didn't want to be there.