Stories Thread

[Celtic_Punk]

"What the hell is that?"
"They call it a turban or something, I believe..."
"You are one strange Celt." retorted Achaikos
Cunobelinus glared at Achaikos"To Hell with you stupid Greek, look at your chapped lips. Mine are plump and beautiful!"Cunobelinus removed the piece covering his mouth to show his incredible lips, he had a ear to ear grin on his face. "All the ladies are going to be allll over me in Jerusalem."
"Enjoy the noses. Hope they won't get in the way! ha ha ha! Achaikos punched his friend in the shoulder
"Don't you think thats a myth?! Damnit I wanted to find a wife in that city. Maybe they don't all have massive noses. Its not really that bad to be honest... My son would be an exceptional hunter, with a great sense of-"
"If he can see in front of him... It might block his vision!"
"You are truly a bastard Achaikos. Where are we?"
"Good question shouldn't you know? You are supposed to be leading this army."
"... no I am seriously lost, You honestly think I know Judea? This country is one big flipping desert! The only thing that lets you SORT of know where you are is the occasional mountain or plateau. We must find us a guide before long. I am not getting surrounded by Ptolemy before we reach Jerusalem."
"Well we were going in the right direction before the sandstorm. We stopped and didn't change direction."Achaikos took his helmet off looked around and scratched his head"Hmmmm. We should be good." His look of neutrality turned to discontent"I am beginning to regret agreeing to come with you on this trip. You said it'd be a quickie. Tarsos was a quickie. This is just gruelling, and We haven't seen a friendly face since we left Syria. I miss the whores in Tarsos."
"Heh, isn't it time you found a wife? Then again the same could be said about me... We need to find ourselves some nice girls... And not the two we found in Kypros... They were insane. I still have a scar from the blonde one!" Cunobelinus shows a huge white slashing scar going from his wrist to his elbow"In any case, I want a legitimate son. Not some son of a whore."
"right you've got a whole set of them."
"ha ha ha, of course! Don't know where they are or what they look like though..."
"All that is going to change though?" enquired Achaikos
"Of course, with a wife I'm obliged by my peoples law to be faithful. Or she can leave me! Anyway, What do you think we should do when we get to Jerusalem? Sap the walls or use Towers?"
"Two sap points. Towers if we need 'em and afford the time." Achaikos nods as does his friend.
Cunobelinus now thinking of the massive task ahead takes a sip of water and pulls the cloth back over his face.