Well I think a distiction needs to be made between battle and war here.
You will struggle to win a war fought totally definsively (I am sure some have though) however a battle fought definsively can and will often favour the defender.
For example (in a M2TW type of way).
You will NEVER win a campaign in M2TW defensively. This is sole due to the game mechanics that require to to "take" x amounts of provinces and destroy such and such faction.
Whilst you may get lucky with another faction destroying the one you needed to eliminate you still can not get to the 50 factions without marching troops over the border and taking the province. Once you move into another factions provice you are technically fighting an "offensive war" - not nessicarily blitzing but definatly offensive.
If the garrison was to sally and on the battle map you moved all your troops back onto the top of a hill for advantage and let the salling troops attack you will have fought a defensive battle, but the fact that you attacked the town hints at an offensive war.
Make sence?
This is purely due to the game mechanics. You are unable to fight a guerilla war (like Afganistan) nor leave a scorched earth (like Russia v Napoelon or Nazi's) as the game can not handle those tactics with the engine it has. Thus two of the most sucessful definsive tactics are unavailable. You can still get a huge defensive advantage in bridge battles but these can be hard to arrange.
The all out attack that has sometimes been called a blitz here is due to a full knowledge of the game engine and knowing what it can and can't do. This includes things like knowing that you can fund the entire operation by sacking settlements and how long until you can next call a jihad/crusade. Neither of these facts would be known to a genral in real life. By playing to limit you are giving the enemy (the AI) a very good chance to beat you. No good general would ever let that happen to their armies (well probably not for long) so the blitzes that occur in this game are not realistic and are a function of the game engine.
This is not to say that blitzers are the only one to exploit knowledge of the game engine. Most players will build up armed forces around the holy land for no apparent reason until all of a sudden the mongols arrive (just as the did at the same time last game). Thus what caught you unaware first time does not the second.
In RL you seldom get a second chance.
So, in my humble opinion (in M2TW) you will often have an advantage fighting a defensive battle but not a defensive war.
Thoughts?
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