SWARM!!!

[Decker]

Ouch! A single word for you....Napalm!

Haha I don't think that would've stopped them!

Very nice reading!

Thank you very much

Let me tell you something, your shirt smelled very but very bad, at least to hornets standards, all of the species in the genre are very susceptible to smells and fragrances, anything can do the trick to provoke a massive attack, deodorant, soap, lotion, transpiration, pheromones; but there is something with a particular smell that cause panic to them, the smell of the smoke usually makes them flee... of course always exist one of them too slow to understand the relation between smoke and fire and keep attacking but most of them will flee no matter what.

That may be true but it didn't help it that we walked/ran right over their nest Found out the hard way lol

[Monk]

Hey Decker! Welcome to the Mead Hall!

Reading your story I caught a couple things that you may want to consider for your next writing attempt, ect. Firstly when you are writing it is best to avoid "You", as in you the reader. Sometimes it can work, for instance, when you break the fourth wall to give a comic spin or something. Generally though, you is something to avoid.

Which brings me to Perspective. The reason you avoid you is because changing perspectives can at times confuse the reader. So it's best more often then not to stick to one perspective. For instance the majority of your story is told from First-person ( I ), which is good! But one thing you don't want to do is switch perspectives mid story (From I to you), this is why you avoid using you as it will force you to switch to second person.

Third person is my favorite and is definitely an option to use, as well as first, but my advice would be to avoid second at all costs. It's just not very good for writing as a whole and, imo, will force you to switch perspectives quite often if you focus on second.

Please don't take this criticism the wrong way, I think your story is quite good. These are just a few things to think about. Again, welcome to the Mead Hall!

[Decker]

Glad to be here Monk!

Thanks for the heads up about that Monk. I personally love to write (mainly for school purposes) so any way to improve my writing is welcomed
I think I forgot to mention that I had wrote this for my English class. It is supposed to be a narrative story, so that is why I used the you in it. I think next time I post a story, I'll specify the perspective I'm writing in .

And thanks again for welcoming me here!