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Thread: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

  1. #1
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    I have 93 dollars cash in my pocket, and I want to buy a barrel of oil.

    Please direct me to the closest oil barrel store so I can make my purchase.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

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    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.
    I have AU$53.15. If i go to an ATM i can easily make that $103.15, or $153.15. Now tell me where we can buy a barrel of oil, damn you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  4. #4
    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    www.zecco.com
    www.etrade.com
    www.scottrade.com

    I could go on... you get the point



  5. #5
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Proletariat View Post
    I have 93 dollars cash in my pocket, and I want to buy a barrel of oil.

    Please direct me to the closest oil barrel store so I can make my purchase.

    Thanks

    Hop into your li'l putt-putt and hie y'self to Pennsylvania (the closest oil barrel store). $93 might buy the contents - today, but the barrel itself may cost you upwards of $650, presuming you desire the classic 42-gallon wooden whiskey barrel of oil. Or perhaps you have your own container?

    Or maybe you meant olive oil, or whale oil... a whole 'nuther kettle o'fish. As it were. So to speak.

    Additionally, UPS would probably deliver said barrel-full of oil right to your front door for a slight surcharge, plus they'd probably try to talk you into buying a full 55 gallon steel drum-full, which might put you over budget.

    I do wonder: what's a nice girl like you doing with pockets, anyway? And ones with cash, no less? Maybe I could interest you in a small share of a tiny stock in a mortgage default swap fund. Just use your paypal account and send funds to yourcongresscritter@usgov.gov

    It's patriotic, yanno.

    :)<----obligatory smilie
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  6. #6
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.
    Let's not get crude.
    This space intentionally left blank

  7. #7
    boy of DESTINY Senior Member Big_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    Let's not get crude.
    a refined joke!
    now i'm here, and history is vindicated.

  8. #8
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Big_John View Post
    a refined joke!
    Which yielded a funnier byproduct.
    This space intentionally left blank

  9. #9
    Camel Lord Senior Member Capture The Flag Champion Martok's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Big_John View Post
    a refined joke!
    Wow, someone out-punned the Punmaster. I am in awe.
    "MTW is not a game, it's a way of life." -- drone

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    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Martok View Post
    Wow, someone out-punned the Punmaster. I am in awe.
    I thought it a little crude, myself.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

  11. #11
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Banquo's Ghost View Post
    I thought it a little crude, myself.
    A refined joke!


    BG has Lemur's Disease. How sad. I just outright stole Big John's pun for the deja vu laugh. Oh, the shame...

    This space intentionally left blank

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    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    BG has Lemur's Disease. How sad.


    Arrgh.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
    Albert Camus "Noces"

  13. #13
    TexMec Senior Member Louis VI the Fat's Avatar
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    Default Re : I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Banquo


    Arrgh.
    Come on, no need to be completely petrified at a little Lemur's disease. This thread is still a barrel of laughs.
    Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant
    Texan by birth, woodpecker by the grace of God
    I would be the voice of your conscience if you had one - Brenus
    Bt why woulf we uy lsn'y Staraft - Fragony
    Not everything
    blue and underlined is a link


  14. #14
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    I don't see why people get so bummed about Lemur's Disease. It's quite treatable. As diseases go, it's chronic as opposed to terminal. Think of it as a benign form of Herpes.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

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    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Re : I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Louis VI the Fat View Post
    This thread is still a barrel of laughs.
    Yes, it's hysderrickle.
    This space intentionally left blank

  16. #16
    boy of DESTINY Senior Member Big_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: Re : I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    the flow of this thread has seriously tanked. creative wells have run dry.
    now i'm here, and history is vindicated.

  17. #17
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Yes, some people need to get crackin' on better puns.

    CR
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  18. #18
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit View Post
    Yes, some people need to get crackin' on better puns.

    CR
    We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.
    This space intentionally left blank

  19. #19
    the G-Diffuser Senior Member pevergreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    goan

    Quote Originally Posted by TosaInu
    The org will be org until everyone calls it a day.

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    but I joke. Some of my best friends are Vietnamese villages.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur
    Anyone who wishes to refer to me as peverlemur is free to do so.

  20. #20
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.
    Too bad it's got such sour results.

    CR
    (EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)
    Last edited by Crazed Rabbit; 10-06-2008 at 07:01.
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  21. #21
    boy of DESTINY Senior Member Big_John's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit View Post
    (EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)
    sweet.
    now i'm here, and history is vindicated.

  22. #22
    Member Member Koga No Goshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    We're just pumping this thread for all it's worth...which was about $94 (USD) per barrel on Friday.
    They're still trading them in USD?
    Koga no Goshi

    I give my Nihon Maru to TosaInu in tribute.

  23. #23
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit View Post
    (EDIT - to be clear, that is another pun on crude oil, and not a reflection of my feelings about your puns)
    No problem - if the shoe fits...
    This space intentionally left blank

  24. #24
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    You dont have 93 dollars in your pocket.
    I most certainly do. If you're just jealous of my riches let me know, if you can scrape up 46.5, I'll go havsies with you on our own barrel of oil, with an option to buy my half on a generous payment plan.

    I didn't know about the barrel, Kukri. Thanks for pointing this out.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks to everyone for salvaging what I thought would be a hilarious thread, and then lost heart and gave up on it and hoped no one would read. Sometimes it takes some very deep digging to pump the funny from a thread but it's turned out that oil's well.

  25. #25
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    **** puns. The entire world's economy sucks. So let's get drunk and stay that way until it solves itself or we die. Either way, problem solved.


  26. #26
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Reverend Joe View Post
    Cue the musical pun... (click on the barrel)
    This space intentionally left blank

  27. #27
    Formerly: SwedishFish Member KarlXII's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    *walks on stage* Ahem.

    *thinks of oil pun*
    Err....
    Uhm...
    Damn....

    Why is my mind so polluted with this?

    No? Not even a dum dum tish? Alright. *creeps off stage*


    HOW ABOUT 'DEM VIKINGS
    -Martok

  28. #28
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Proletariat View Post
    I most certainly do. If you're just jealous of my riches let me know, if you can scrape up 46.5, I'll go havsies with you on our own barrel of oil, with an option to buy my half on a generous payment plan.

    I didn't know about the barrel, Kukri. Thanks for pointing this out.

    Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 
    Thanks to everyone for salvaging what I thought would be a hilarious thread, and then lost heart and gave up on it and hoped no one would read. Sometimes it takes some very deep digging to pump the funny from a thread but it's turned out that oil's well.
    I have merley 2 pence
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

  29. #29
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like to buy a barrel of oil...

    Quote Originally Posted by Strike For The South View Post
    I have merley 2 pence
    Hopefully, the price of oil drops...
    This space intentionally left blank

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