The Full Monty: Simpsons Mafia [Concluded]

[White_eyes:D]

If I may, white eyes, you've pretty much made your ability useless, as now none of the mafia/zombies will go after you and waste a night in doing so. Instead, they will go after people who aren't confirmed (or merely claimed) as invincible.

will they can't win if they don't kill all the townies right? no matter what they do it is going to really mess them up, when they need to deal with me

[Chaotix]

Well, actually, a mafia/serial killer wins once there is a 1:1 ratio between the mafia and the town, and there are no opposing mafia/SK's left. This is regardless of your ability, because otherwise the mafia would not be able to win. So if it gets down to just you and Fat Tony, for example, Fat Tony wins. And that's exactly what they're going to try.

[White_eyes:D]

Well, actually, a mafia/serial killer wins once there is a 1:1 ratio between the mafia and the town, and there are no opposing mafia/SK's left. This is regardless of your ability, because otherwise the mafia would not be able to win. So if it gets down to just you and Fat Tony, for example, Fat Tony wins. And that's exactly what they're going to try.

True, but as I said if we don't lynch the right people we screwed anyway....zombies are still a bit of a problem....(and Chaotix your taking a REAL interest in my ability....I think you are Mr.Burns right?)

[Chaotix]

Not an interest in your ability, per se, but more that you openly wasted the ability, and now it's useless to town for any mafia that actually reads the thread. This means, in my logic, that:

1) You made a mistake in revealing it, or didn't know/forgot that the mafia technically doesn't have to kill you to win.

or

2) You revealed your 'ability' intentionally, because you are actually mafia, and are lying and trying to make yourself look innocent.

Either way, you've certainly drawn attention to yourself.

[White_eyes:D]

If you are Mr.burns there I think we have a mafia.....since you shot Sideshow Bob(Fat tony)......
Besides, seems like the mafia are cowards anyway...I proved it with Beefys changing his vote(With the hint it would kill him, so he changed his vote)
no Mafia is going to risk it.....but at the same time they are going to try and either avoid me or wait until they have no choice and come at me one by one.... or they could be planing to wait until they know the details of my ability as the only real bad part about it was Sideshow Bob could just go though me like a hot knife though butter....

[Askthepizzaguy]

sorry for the delay.

If you havent used your ability, it will be too late when I do the writeup.

[Askthepizzaguy]

Night Five


Moe the Bartender is closing his bar up for the night, when suddenly he hears someone trying to break into the door. He begins to dial the police for protection, but remembers that Wiggum is dead and all the other officers have fled the city in terror. He makes sure all the deadbolts are locked, and heads towards the back door. Wielding a large crowbar for self-defense, he exits the bar. He quickly runs to his parked vehicle, gets in, and attempts to start the car. The key turns, but the engine sputters. The noise has attracted the attention of a group of zombies from the front of the bar. Several of them are wielding torches and pitchforks, and they begin oozing towards Moe's car. Moe continues trying to start the old hunk of junk, but the battery seems to have died.

"Come on you lousy piece of rotten stinking... remember how much Moe loves you. Now start already!"

Finally the engine roars to life, and Moe laughs with glee. He floors the accelerator, and aims his vehicle right for the alley between Moe's bar and the music store. The zombies in the alley are smashed into one by one, each leaving a sickening thud and a splatter of blood on Moe's car. He runs over a particularly hefty zombie at high speed, and the vehicle takes a sharp jolt, and the tire blows out. The car swerves into the alley wall, and the front end is badly damaged.

Finally Moe the bartender is dragged out of his vehicle by Police Chief Wiggum.

"Thank the almighty it's you! I was about to be eaten by zombies" said Moe in a daze.

Wiggum of course then proceeded to eat his face.

______________________

Groundskeeper Willie waited by the abandoned Elementary School, drinking whiskey and Scotch, and slapping himself in the face to stay good and mad while he was surly drunk. He was sitting on the large tractor lawnmower, and shouting at the mafia.

"I know who you are... come out an' face Willy. You foul-smellin, Zeppelin'-lovin troglodyte! You are just afraid to face me, because you know I'd give you the beatin' of a lifetime."

Just then, the blurry-eyed and drunk Willy heard a noise in the bushes.

"Come on out now... Willy won't hurt ya... he'll just kill ya!"

The Itchy and Scratchy robots approached Willy on both sides, each wielding a giant axe.

"Oh, no you don't. Willy ain't goin down without a fight."

Willie revved his superpowered Lawn tractor and gunned the engine. The souped-up machine took off like a rocket and rammed into the larger foe, Scratchy. The vile robot was caught in the rotating blades of the mower, and he was chopped into little bitty bits, nuts and bolts shooting everywhere. The blades ground to a halt, and the engine stopped running. The lawnmower was destroyed.

Willie turned to face his next attacker, Itchy. He grabbed a gardening hoe and swung it at the red-eyed terminator, clashing against Itchy's axe. An intense duel ensued, and Itchy kept swinging with robotic precision and Willie kept fighting like a drunk, frothing, angry, greased up Scotsman.

The battle axe crashed through Willie's hoe, and so he did a backflip and grabbed a shovel with a long steel handle. The fight resumed, and the robotic Itchy kept advancing. Willie fought with the strength of two men, and barely held his own. Finally, the Itchy robot tripped him with the long weapon, and Willie landed hard on his back. The crippling pain of landing on a rake caused him to drop the shovel, and Itchy prepared the final blow.

Willie, never one to give up, summoned his great Scottish resolve and lifted both of his feet in the air, which caused his back to slide even further into the pointy ends of the sharp rake. The pain would have been unbearable, were it not for the whiskey. He kicked as hard as he could, and sent the little rat robot flying, axe and all. Barely escaping with his life, Willie lifted himself off of the rake, and ran as fast as he could into the school, bleeding the whole way.

The Itchy robot continued the hunt, but could not find Willie inside the school that night. Willie survives the assault, and Scratchy is destroyed.

______________________

Diamond Joe Quimby sat in the Mayor's office, shuffling a deck of cards and eating Italian food. His bodyguards were waiting outside the door, to prevent any unnecessary complications.

The Mayor picked up the telephone. He was about to call Monty Burns and invite him over to the Mayor's mansion, but there was no dial tone. Something scurried above his head. When he looked up, the last thing he saw was a disemboweled Maggie Simpson dropping down upon his face, fangs bared and chunks of flesh oozing out of her jaws.

In the morning, his bodyguards entered, and they found ample amounts of his blood, and chewed pieces of his face and neck, but no sign of the body.

______________________

Snake Jailbird watched the events unfold at the Mayor's office, and he watched as Maggie Simpson left with a full stomach. He fired up Lil' Bandit and took off towards little Maggie. With a sickening thud, the baby went flying. Snake exited the hot rod, took aim with his magnum, and blew off the head of the demon child.

For good measure, he kept firing, and the splattered body parts and guts went everywhere. He did not stop firing until there was a giant splatter of blood streaking all across the road, and there was nothing even resembling a human being.

Maggie Simpson was destroyed.