Casual sex is good, or is it?

[Koga No Goshi]

Rediculous. imho you guys are much more sexists then Kandagar and needlessly harsh, there is the implicit assumption he is taking advantage of them, while in reality most of the time it are the women taking the initiative. He is just one healthy male.

I'm amazed at the double standards in reactions about this sort of thing sometimes. Anyone remember when Magic Johnson came forward and confessed to sleeping with hundreds of women? And the general public attitude about his actions? Certainly VERY few people felt any sympathy for him whatsoever in contracting HIV.

[ICantSpellDawg]

nvm

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Interesting.

Some of the more "left" posters are the most vehement in decrying K's behavior in regards to women already married, whereas the more "right" posters are either a) suggesting he change tracks for his own good or b) urging him to "hit it" even more.

Not sure what to make of that.

[Lemur]

Not sure what to make of that.

Probably the same reason the average Republican politician is on his second or third wife. I'd say more, but I don't want to derail/sabotage Kadagar's thread.

[Koga No Goshi]

Interesting.

Some of the more "left" posters are the most vehement in decrying K's behavior in regards to women already married, whereas the more "right" posters are either a) suggesting he change tracks for his own good or b) urging him to "hit it" even more.

Not sure what to make of that.

I'm very liberal, I do not believe any law should prevent Kadagar from his behavior. But I still believe in respecting dignity not only for yourself but for your fellow man or woman. "I'm not the married one, it's not my problem" is still extremely disrespectful to the married woman's husband; would Kadagar or anyone else like it if some other guy took that attitude about his wife? Those kinds of attitudes make the world poorer and more selfish.

[Kadagar_AV]

Too much censorship on these boards.

[Csargo]

Koga, I would not like the person who had sex with my wife... But I wouldn't really dislike him either. It would be a "meh, who cares" unless it was some friend or someone I knew. There is a difference there, of course. However, if she had sex with her surfing instructor while on vacation, I would see it for what it was, in this case, all her fault, none his.

How do you come to that conclusion?

[Koga No Goshi]

Seamus, I also noticed that... It is rather interesting to argue with Koga and get backed up by Fragony!


Koga, I would not like the person who had sex with my wife... But I wouldn't really dislike him either. It would be a "meh, who cares" unless it was some friend or someone I knew. There is a difference there, of course. However, if she had sex with her surfing instructor while on vacation, I would see it for what it was, in this case, all her fault, none his.

I agree the difference is interesting. But hopefully it throws a log into the whole 'no liberals believe in any personal responsibility' thing. I believe people should take responsibility for the things they have a direct choice about, like their personal decisions and such. I do not believe they should be told to bugger off and take responsibility for something they can't control, like getting a disease or having an earthquake flatten their house or going bankrupt from medical bills. And most times you just spin that around in inverse and you have a stereotypical far rightie's viewpoints. :)

I don't think Kadagar is a bad guy at all and if Kad you or anyone else got that impression that was my mistake. I do think this behavior though is destructive, not just to others, but also to you, even if you don't realize it. You mentioned already getting one STD, one would wonder what would happen if you found out you had, or in the future got, a more serious or lifelong one, and if this behavior was worth it. How do you explain to your future fiancee how you got hepatitis or herpes? I do believe there's some kind of compulsion at work if you've slept with hundreds of women, but that's just my personal observation and no form of professional opinion.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Seamus, I also noticed that... It is rather interesting to argue with Koga and get backed up by Fragony!


Koga, I would not like the person who had sex with my wife... But I wouldn't really dislike him either. It would be a "meh, who cares" unless it was some friend or someone I knew. There is a difference there, of course. However, if she had sex with her surfing instructor while on vacation, I would see it for what it was, in this case, all her fault, none his.

I agree with both of you. My anger would be reserved for my spouse. I probably wouldn't be overtly angry at the guy unless I knew him or he added insult to injury. I wouldn't have much respect for him as more than a detriment to an enjoyable life on earth for other people, but that's another story.

I think that people should make the conscious decision not to engage in promiscuous sex for their own consciences - As you have reavelead may not have been a bad idea in the first place. I don't beleive that laws should exist telling you how destructive and pointless casual sex can be(particularly if one or both parties are married) - you should figure that out one way or another. Any behaviour that hurts your respect for women or aids in the destruction of anyones marriage should be avoided from my point of view, but I can only guard myself against such practices and stay on my toes regarding those I commit my life and property to.

All in all I agree with Koga's approach to the topic of promiscuity.

The world would be a much more reasonable place if, instead of infidelity or destructive promiscuity people lived by the mantra "when in doubt, rub one out".

[Kadagar_AV]

Too much censorship on these boards.

[Csargo]

Ichigo, if she had sex with a surf instructor, it would be pretty clear that she was out for a thrill. My point is, she most likely had sex with "a surfing instructor", not with "Adam Smith". It's not even sure she remembers his name.

Okay.

[ICantSpellDawg]

Tuffstuff, the world would be a better placeyes... However, humans are humans, and humans have instincts and needs. I dont think we are made to have one partner for life.

Big deal. Instincts are instincts.

We have instinct to kill opposition, steal when we want things, beat our children, rape those that we lust after.

Empathy is an enlightened emotion and allows us to overcome or control instincts that may not lead to a harmonious existence with others, particularly those we love.

What we were made to do regarding partners is very different between people. You may say monogamy is for weaklings and those out of touch with instinct - many people who have never cheated on their married spouse would most likely disagree with your opinion.

BTW - I view STDS as a great deterrent from infidelity. If you don't use rubbers, your partner knows that she is particularly endangering both of your healths if she strays, and so do you.
Think of it as a trust bomb that will blow up once trust is breached. I celebrate STDS for their correcting effect on instinct.

[Koga No Goshi]

Koga, only reason I got an STD was cause it was a GF (we were only together for 3 weeks though, then I dumped her). So the moral of this story would be, if you want safe sex, avoid getting a girlfriend. With more temporary partners I always rubber up, with gilfriends I dont... Meaning the odds are probably higher of me getting a STD from a girlfriend than a one night stand... So your logic fails.

This sounds exactly like what you hear when an addict is justifying an addiction. "I only got the hangover because I stopped and didn't drink as much as usual. When I drink my usual amount everynight, I don't get sick."

P.S., the fact that out of hundreds of women you've slept with, one you're with for 3 weeks would qualify as a "relationship", should be a sign that something is wrong, Kad.

[Fragony]

I'm amazed at the double standards in reactions about this sort of thing sometimes. Anyone remember when Magic Johnson came forward and confessed to sleeping with hundreds of women? And the general public attitude about his actions? Certainly VERY few people felt any sympathy for him whatsoever in contracting HIV.

I really have no idea what the double standard is here. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviour. I am a bit suspicious of the moral outrage here. So she has a family. What's it to you. A healthy male doesn't turn down a goodlooking woman.

Andres, evil orgahs are poking fun at you in the American election thread!!1!!

The belgium tragedy. Nobody knows who you are except the dutch and the french, and they make fun of you.

[Koga No Goshi]

I really have no idea what the double standard is here. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviour. I am a bit suspicious of the moral outrage here. So she has a family. What's it to you. A healthy male doesn't turn down a goodlooking woman.

If there is absolutely no consequence for antisocial behavior then there is no potential to have to take any responsibility for it.

[ICantSpellDawg]

If there is absolutely no consequence for antisocial behavior then there is no potential to have to take any responsibility for it.

Hahaha you're starting to sound like one of us now.

I agree. Fortunately there both biological, social, emotional, material, and inter-personal consequences that clash with such actions. Some of which Kad seems to be dealing with at the moment, others that he might deal with during flare-ups.

[Koga No Goshi]

Hahaha you're starting to sound like one of us now.

I agree. Fortunately there both biological, social, emotional, material, and inter-personal consequences that clash with such actions. Some of which Kad seems to be dealing with at the moment, others that he might deal with during flare-ups.

As I said earlier, I believe in personal responsibility where it is actually appropriately applied. The notion that holding someone to personal responsibility is just a feature of the right comes from the fact that the right disagrees with the left not holding people accountable for things outside of their control, like natural disasters or diseases or abject poverty.

[ICantSpellDawg]

As I said earlier, I believe in personal responsibility where it is actually appropriately applied. The notion that holding someone to personal responsibility is just a feature of the right comes from the fact that the right disagrees with the left not holding people accountable for things outside of their control, like natural disasters or diseases or abject poverty.

Pregnancy isn't a natural disaster...

I'm glad to hear it. I know that some liberals have personal responsibility just like I know that some "conservatives" can't be trusted around the hen house or a neighbor's wallet.

I don't always vilify the left. I primarily vilify them on abortion - everything else is eminently negotiable and probably in need of another look occasionally.

[Koga No Goshi]

Pregnancy isn't a natural disaster...

I'm glad to hear it. I know that some liberals have personal responsibility just like I know that some "conservatives" can't be trusted around the hen house or a neighbor's wallet.

I don't always vilify the left. I primarily vilify them on abortion - everything else is eminently negotiable and probably in need of another look occasionally.

Responsibility's become one of those buzzwords like activist judging... typically all it means when people throw around personal responsibility is a dispute between "I don't think someone deserves sympathy" and "I think someone deserves sympathy."

I pay taxes and bills and credit card statements, I've never declared bankruptcy or used any form of social service, I don't have any liens or court orders on my paycheck for unpaid child support or back taxes. I'm sure my credit score is nowhere near perfect but a lot of that has to do with not having bought anything bigger than a car yet. I've broken things and paid for them. I've followed the rules in school and work and faced consequences when I screwed something up.

To me that's what personal responsibility is. When it gets into strange realms where it's inordinately applied in one direction and not another (an example would be, blaming individual soldiers for following illegal or unjust orders or policies, but not believing the people who signed those orders or policies should face any sort of punishment--- another example would be telling people who lost their pension and stock options and health insurance when a company screwed around and cooked the books and then flopped abruptly to take responsibility, while just sort of shrugging that the CEO's and execs had $400,000 parties and golden parachutes and bailed out in the black) is where I start to get suspicious of whether or not what we're really talking about is taking responsibility so much as believing someone should be blamed for things that happen to them outside of their control.

I would call this thread one of the "strange realms", especially when it comes to blaming people who have affairs with Kadagar, and saying Kadagar shares none of the blame. I do not believe, as I said earlier, any law should persecute him for his choice of behavior. But I don't understand how someone could behave that way and not see it as a problem, not see it as destructive (to both self and others) and not see it as irresponsible.

[Fragony]

As I said earlier, I believe in personal responsibility where it is actually appropriately applied. The notion that holding someone to personal responsibility is just a feature of the right comes from the fact that the right disagrees with the left not holding people accountable for things outside of their control, like natural disasters or diseases or abject poverty.

No idea what the left/right has to do with any of this. If it is a matter of decency, good for you, but mr Fragony isn't going to turn down a hot woman. That's rude. If she has a husband, he doesn't own her/should have bought her more flowers.

[pevergreen]

No idea what the left/right has to do with any of this. If it is a matter of decency, good for you, but mr Fragony isn't going to turn down a hot woman. That's rude. If she has a husband, he doesn't own her/should have bought her more flowers.

Im sorry, I just cant accept that. There is a level of trust in a relationship that its mutually exclusive (think i've got the right words)

I think there is reasoning. Presuming the female is cheating, why?

She could:

• Find the Man attractive
• Feel as though she doesnt want her current partner anymore
• Do it as a weird revenge thing
• Want something new

I think that in the first case, if the person cheating can't restrain from bonking anyone they find attractive, they aren't worthy of trust. In the second instance, a sit down and talk with the partner and talking through it works well. For the last two, the same thing.

You can't just go in and go, "Oh if I can get xxxxx to sleep with me, that means their partner doesn't deserve them. I'm not doing anything wrong."

Cliche, but think of it from the affected party's point of view. Would you want your wife cheating on you?

[Koga No Goshi]

No idea what the left/right has to do with any of this. If it is a matter of decency, good for you, but mr Fragony isn't going to turn down a hot woman. That's rude. If she has a husband, he doesn't own her/should have bought her more flowers.

It was off topic. The left/right just came up because of people ribbing me that they were surprised I was sounding like "their side" (the right) now.