To clear this up, I'm not agonised and miserable, and I can assure you if I was it wouldn't be for knowing God.

Maybe my attitude towards some things in this life make me appear that way, but I've got other things on my mind to cheer me up. Calvinists tend to be stereotyped as dull and miserable, but if you study their characters you realise they are anything but that. It's more down to a misunderstanding than a reality.