On Conquest!

[King Henry V]

Let me first say that I have seen my fair share of attractive women. However, there have been few, very few, whose beauty has as been arresting as that of one particular girl whom I have recently noticed. And, oh Great Lord Above, what a girl! I cannot even begin to describe her heavenly attributes, but I shall nevertheless try. A shapely figure, a cute, delicate face, soft, brown eyes, ears that one can hardly stop oneself from nibbling, a profile to rival Florence Craye (cookie if you know who she is) and luscious light-chestnut coloured hair, worn in a bun to reveal her neck. And oh, what a sweet, sweet, neck, long and slender; a neck one could gaze at for hours!
Fortunately, I have been afforded the chance to do so. She goes to the same university as me and we attend the same classes. I have noticed her because on three seperate occasions over the past week, fate has placed her in one of the rows directly below me in the auditorium. I must admit that I feel like some simpering, dumb-struck chum out of a P. G. Wodehouse novel.
My problem, however, is this: I wish to approach her, but there are several obstacles in my path. Firstly, my class is made up of 500 people, so it is very difficult to get to know people. Students file into the auditoria for class, and file out again as soon as the bell rings, and I only know the people who are old school mates of mine. Consequently, I know absolutely nothing about her: her name, her origin, whether she's already with someone, even what language she speaks (it's a very international lot here) are all a mystery.
I also go to one of the most anti-social universities imaginable. The Students' Union is a joke, concentrated mainly on their preposterous political posturing rather than organising anything remotely fun. Hence, there are no university parties or get togethers. Classes are mostly in the afternoon and evening, so there's not even the chance to sit at the same table as her at lunch time.
Finally, there is that most redoutable obstacles for the adventurers of the heart: the rather plain best friend. In former times there was usually a myriad of chaperones to ward off the potential cavaliero, and most have swept away in the name of sexual liberation, but there still remains that limpet-like companion, practically denying all chance of a quiet tête à tête.

Any thoughts from the Tavern's seasoned bunch of romancers?

[seireikhaan]

Items needed:

1) Club

2) Cave


Steps:

1) Sweep plain friends away with force.

2) Apply club to stated female's cranium.

3) Bring stated female to cave.


End o' story.

[Strike For The South]

Alcohol, always have alcohol with you.

On a more serious note, Make sure you sit around her allot and then just start talking about the class. It doesn't even have to be to her. Just start talking to the people around you and eventually it will perk her interest. She will more often than not join in ESP if the class is interesting or difficult. From there you have servral avenues. More often than not it is best to just keep at talk as this lets her know you are "safe" which women like. Then you can start talking about study groups or coffee or whatever it is you Euros do for fun.

Dont be nervous around her either. The whole finding that cute thing is a lie (just like anything else women say ) People dont like nervous and they especially dont like nervous in a perspective mate

Be proud to dont make her you world and dont give her to much attention early on that is just creepy.

Then agian she may not take on in which case I shall tell you there are many more fish in the proverbial sea and to catch them you need Booze!

I just gave romantic advice on a forum I feel odd.....

[Yoyoma1910]

A bit of advice.

[Incongruous]

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

Take one for the team my man

[Alexanderofmacedon]

Force a meeting. That's the only way. Make it on accident; needing help with something in the class or dropping something like that.

"Hey could you help me with that pencil? Thanks....by the way my name is ____. Oh great nice to meet you"

Then keep it up. If you rest on the one meeting and too much time passes the hard work will have been in vain. Good luck dear friend, she sounds like a nice one!

[Decker]

I just gave romantic advice on a forum I feel odd.....

You're from Texas... how's that odd jkjk


And as for King Henry V-
You describe her so... so where's the picture

But to be honest... just go up to her say "hi," her that you're in her classes and ask her if you two could study together on any upcoming tests or have her number or email "just in case" you "miss" any assignments or do not "understand" them... worked/s for me

[Kekvit Irae]

Condoms.
You know it's going to happen at some point in time, so might as well make it so that you wont regret it nine months later.

[Marshal Murat]

Florence Craye (cookie if you know who she is)

First time I've ever heard P.G. Wodehouse mentioned on this forum. Very impressed.

[King Henry V]

Thanks for all the advice chaps, I shall try to put it all to the test as soon as possible.

And as for King Henry V-
You describe her so... so where's the picture

Though my slightly obsessive description of her might have given the impression that I am a dirty trench coat clad onanist who regularly stalks women, I have not quite sunk to the level of talking surreptitious pictures of her. Mainly because I don't have a camera.


Will keep you posted about further developments.

[Decker]

Thanks for all the advice chaps, I shall try to put it all to the test as soon as possible.



Though my slightly obsessive description of her might have given the impression that I am a dirty trench coat clad onanist who regularly stalks women, I have not quite sunk to the level of talking surreptitious pictures of her. Mainly because I don't have a camera.


Will keep you posted about further developments.

Was only kidding

But yeah, good luck with her