Org confessions.

[SwordsMaster]

-Honduras is a very beautiful place if you can get past the fact that 80% of the people live in poverty and the other 20% live as kings.

You must come to Africa then. Try Nigeria for a taste.

[The Stranger]

- I actually like Flemish and Dutch Schlagers, genre Laura Lynn and Frans Bauer;

[The Stranger]

- I'm not actually that crazy in Real Life.
- I am pretty in Real Life, though never boost with it...
- I don't have much time for the .org no more, and I'm not showing any diseases.
- I'm a person of wild contradictions.
- I expect people to be the best they can.
- Depressed people also fascinate me because I honestly can't understand it, however I have many people in my inner circle who are depressed. I'm torn between telling them that they are losers who feel to much sorry for themselves while there is no good reason and genuinely try to help them.
- I hate people who talk about "Poor/Weak/Sad/ETC Africa, but haven't been there and actually don't know what they talk about.
- I don't hate dumb (which is only perception and a arrogant one too) people but I hate people who do not want to learn, who are either too arrogant or just don't care enough to learn new things.
- I hate people who are to frightened too excell, too frightened to stop listening to other peoples oppinion and form their own, who kneel to peerpressure and do not take responsibility for their own deeds.
- I love all people.

[Subedei]

Seems to be something of a phenomenon around here almost.

I remain a proud 1. FCN and Greuther Fürth fan (so maybe I shouldn't be talking...).

I know it is weired, but I love their way of playing and sticking together. No coach discussions, not too much rumours. Um ehrlich zu sein: Werder ist einfach eine Diva...hop oder topp...des macht´s spannend!

Do you happen to live in Nürnberg? Großraum? Cheers from Regensburg!

[Sigurd]

- I hate planning.
- I am an optimist (everything will turn out all right in the end).
- I procrastinate.
- I secretly want to move back to Australia.
- I have not changed to winter tires on my car yet (it is snowing hard outside).
- I am more attracted to brunettes than to blonds (Don't tell my wife ).
- I think Zahra (a customer in Iran) has a sexy voice and I enjoy talking to her on the phone.
- I have two life insurances (my wife and kids will be millionaires if I die).
- I am 1/8 th Swedish.
- I know national secrets (military and oil).
- I could seriously screw up the oil business in Norway by putting their SAP systems to a grinding halt.
- I made the SAP system skip a single invoice with the amount of 7.5 billion NoK ($1 055 254 645,66 USD) as a solution to a minor problem (someone isn't getting their money).
- I want to impose the "21 years before getting a boyfriend" rule on my two girls, but my 4 year old already puts on lip gloss to seduce boys. (I am not looking forward to their teens).
- I ate a Quarter pounder at McD's yesterday and enjoyed it.
- I don't drink coffee.
- I have never smoked.
- I like the smell of petrol.

[LittleGrizzly]

Really.... for me my "disliking of groups" changed after I got out of being depressed constantly... I hated the successful and more happier types... now it's kinda switched... with more included.

For me there a slight envy... but the main problem is with myself, i get irratated that what comes so naturally to others is a nightmare for me..

That being said i am hugely arrogant in my own special shy way, when it comes to social matters i put myself near the bottom of the ladder but when it comes to intelligence i just find most people my own age to be fairly stupid, this has changed a bit since i went to university... i still feel intellectually superior to most of the people in my classes but that will probably dramatically change if i begin an applied mathmatics degree...

Sure there have been times I have been sad but I got over them rather quickly and even at my saddest I always had a person there for me whether it be a friend a family member or a willing female there was always SOMEONE there.

It may just be me, but i find part of it is not really wanting to talk about it (yes ironically im here talking about it but the internet is a little different) and the other part of me would feel like i was just looking for compliments to make me feel better or something, i don't think there is anyone in real life i would want to talk to about it with...

This reminds me a slight confession i guess, i had a friend who used to be fat, she would constantly ask me if she was fat and i would constantly reassure her with lies, which annoyed the hell out of me, we both knew she was fat she was just looking for false comfort... thats not the worse bit... because she was fat and got picked on she now has an eating disorder and is deadly skinny, she will several times a day mention how fat she is and i understand that eating disorders affect you physcologically but everytime she says it i take it as just fishing for compliments despite the fact he disorder explains this behaviour..

After going out more into the world and coming across these stories. I can say I cant wrap my head around these stories of being without a voice. Of being all alone and wanting to end it I simply dont get it.

I can't speak for others but from personal experience one of the main components is you cannot see the future getting any better, or more likely you see things as getting worse and worse. With no future to look forward to and with the present seeming bleak even getting out of bed can be an effort, i found especially with my lack of confidence that the withdrawal from society starts slowly... but as you become more withdrawn you lose more confidence and as you lose confidence you become more withdrawn...

It got to the point where i wouldn't bother trying to get a job because i knew i couldn't do the interview well enough, application form (i have a sloppy childs handwriting) and a terrible cv (this cv thing is a vicious spiral as well) i didn't bother trying to get a girlfriend because i knew i couldn't get one and i knew i couldn't go onto further education because the social situation terrified me, i tried twice well i was back in that phase, the second time i ended up trying to smoke weed before i went in to make it less terrifying, this didn't really help either because either i couldn't get any... would end up late because i went for a joint and i couldn't stand the idea of everyone looking as i came in

When faced with that suicide just seemed like the sensible choice, the only prospect i felt i had was a crappy life that was going to be a hard slog the whole way through, especially with my atheist views that death is the end, it just made sense to skip all the misery inbetween, i almost thought off death as a big sleep... and i would always look forward to sleep during my depression (though i don't dream) so the idea of skipping the day to day effort of life and sleeping eternally just seemed like a much better idea... given what i thought back then it does seem fairly logical...

I would like to confess to dragging topics off topic.. maybe this should have its own thread...?

Ohh and incase your wondering... things got better... managed to get myself onto a course to get onto a degree so the future seems decent, not much imporvment on the social side though and a decent girlfriend seems unlikely anytime soon, i would say these days i swing between a mild depression... being pissed off at myself and being fairly content/happy a

- I saved someone's life once, but I wish I hadn't

Really caught my attention with this... care to share more (if you want to) ?

Ohh i love the smell of petrol too!!

[Rhyfelwyr]

LG that is exactly how I feel now. I can cope with my Uni course as it is, but when it goes to honours next year and and its more about group discussion, small classes, and lots of presentations etc, I don't know what I'm going to do.

The thing with the job interviews happened to me as well, in the end my parents made me work in a charity shop, even I couldn't fail the interview like that (basically if you don't have a criminal record your in).

I wouldn't think of suicide though (as an option, not because I didn't want to). Even before I had religious views, I wouldn't have done it when it would have upset my family, especially since I have two younger brothers. Not because of the cheesy family thing (I can't for the life of me take family values seriously), but I suppose having a son dying would be very depressing, and upsetting for them even if I didn't understand it completely.

I dont' feel depressed now as I had before, but I still have mostly the same problems.

Oh and another confession:

- some of my friends think I have aspergers (but I don't think I fit the bill, also I would have to have developed it in the last few years, which can't happen)

[LittleGrizzly]

The thing with the job interviews happened to me as well, in the end my parents made me work in a charity shop, even I couldn't fail the interview like that (basically if you don't have a criminal record your in).

Yeah i was considering something similar, probably a really good way to build yourself up let alone your cv

LG that is exactly how I feel now. I can cope with my Uni course as it is, but when it goes to honours next year and and its more about group discussion, small classes, and lots of presentations etc, I don't know what I'm going to do.

I have quite small classes now, but one thing that has helped me alot is the fact that people are alot older on this course, when im with young people i can't help but think to myself as some kind of lesser person than them, that somehow thier looks and confidence makes them superior to me (half of them probably aren't even better looking it is a bit of a mental block) whereas with older people i feel thier less judgemental (or my assumed negative views they have on me matter less, i would assume older people judge based on looks less presentations isn't really such a problem for me as i have worked as a canvesser in the past (knocking doors selling double glazing and window washing) and when i have a focus like selling windows or making a presentation i can pull off fake confidence brilliantly, its when it comes to small talk where the focus is a bit more hazy like make friends or just have a fun chat....

Often in social situations i have a little voice in my head panicking trying to think of things to say, this makes it harder to actually think of a reply to whatever they said, and my nervousness actually imposes itself on the conversation then making it an awkward situation... which then just reinforces the little voice....

[Thermal]

YEAH! GO petrol, though it's incredably bad for your health to sniff it in lol

[Decker]

Wow that was a great post LittleGrizzly.

It may just be me, but i find part of it is not really wanting to talk about it (yes ironically im here talking about it but the internet is a little different) and the other part of me would feel like i was just looking for compliments to make me feel better or something, i don't think there is anyone in real life i would want to talk to about it with...

I'm gonna elaborate a little more on this, if LG doesn't mind . Like he said, it's much easier on the internet where you can just type out what you are saying rather than being with a person face-to-face. It's MUCH more intimidating and in a sense, scary. The first time I talked about my issues to anyone, I thought they were gonna laugh in my face, insult me and leave because it was pretty pathetic, the way I was and used to be. And as LG, when you spill the beans and talk about your depression or issues, you feel like you're playing the "victim" and just looking for a bit of a confidence boost.

I can't speak for others but from personal experience one of the main components is you cannot see the future getting any better, or more likely you see things as getting worse and worse. With no future to look forward to and with the present seeming bleak even getting out of bed can be an effort, i found especially with my lack of confidence that the withdrawal from society starts slowly... but as you become more withdrawn you lose more confidence and as you lose confidence you become more withdrawn...

Exactly... getting outta of that and going through all the layers that have been built is a *****
Break one down, another comes up, and so on and so forth. The trick is, at least from my personal experiences, is catching yourself before you slip back into it (which I found to be still... tooooo easy)

I would like to confess to dragging topics off topic.. maybe this should have its own thread...?

That's what I said in my earlier post you quoted... I think it should be a Frontroom topic that's accessible to everyone...

Okay and a confession to stay on topic:

- My favorite color is brown

[Beefy187]

Battle Royale II sucked, BR I is the better, It's captivating and I enjoyed it on a much higher level than any other mass murder book I've read.(BR 2) I think you should read it.

And thats exactly why I dont want to read the first book... I know its good. But im too scared of another depression happening which lasts for say... 6 weeks That book is overpowered.

[Mouzafphaerre]

.

• I enjoy some nasty ρr0η
• I like Fragony

.

[KarlXII]

I took a dookie in the urinal.

[Fragony]

I like Fragony

My turkish delicately depressed muca!

[Alexanderofmacedon]

.

• I enjoy some nasty ρr0η

.

Should be on everyone's list. I make a motion to add this to mine, at least!

[SwordsMaster]

Although personally I don't understand how people can be so depressed they want to kill themselves and at the same time so lazy they won't make the necessary changes in their lives to improve the situation, I recently stumbled into an article that I like, and perhaps will redirect you teenage emo thoughts into something more useful.

Clicky

And if that has helped motivate you to make some changes, read this next one (the posts by "Adsman"), which I personally have found tremendously inspiring, and still re-read every few months, when I feel burnt out.

You always have two decisions available to you. Yes and no.

Warning: The links might contain some un-frontroomish language, so if you mods decide it's too much, and anyone is interested in reading it, drop me a PM, or move to Backroom.

[LittleGrizzly]

I recently stumbled into an article that I like, and perhaps will redirect you teenage emo thoughts into something more useful.

He makes alot of assumptions about depressed people, very few of them actually apply to me, though i suppose im not teenage or emo either...

I have a fairly varied groups of friends, from the serially annoying to the completely stupid and a varied taste in music, i don't usually go on forums with like minded people, if i was to discuss politics with a bunch of socailists apart from the occasional topic it probably wouldn't get much further than 'i agree'

He probably hits on some points that affect a wide range of depressed people but to think its a cure all is somewhat off...

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

I know it is weired, but I love their way of playing and sticking together.

I like Frings, and that's about it ever since they got rid of Klose.

Do you happen to live in Nürnberg?

Sort of. I certainly do consider it my hometown.

[Alexanderofmacedon]

I like Frings, and that's about it ever since they got rid of Klose.



Sort of. I certainly do consider it my hometown.

Only Frings? I mean Ballack is a star now, but he's always been the composed player on the ball to distribute to the wings. Bastian is a bit hot tempered, but overall a quick and explosive player (especially coming off the bench at times). I love little old Lahm at the back (though I'm worried now about the German defense a bit more).

The 'Hammer' is pretty good off the bench too, but in my opinion Gomez has no right to play until he grows up a bit and begins to make plays he needs to. He likes to choke a lot.

P.S: Today is Frings' birthday (Nov. 22)

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Only Frings? I mean Ballack is a star now, but he's always been the composed player on the ball to distribute to the wings. Bastian is a bit hot tempered, but overall a quick and explosive player (especially coming off the bench at times). I love little old Lahm at the back (though I'm worried now about the German defense a bit more).

I was talking about players on Werder Bremen.

I don't like Ballack much anyways, but I have to say I love Schweini and Lahm.

[Monk]

-I am terrified of the possibility of Sasquatch.
-I cannot stand coffee, or any sort of hot drink for that matter.
-I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll
-There are four lights
-I really hate this place, they just won't let me leave.
-I can never truly finish anyth

[Fragony]

-I can never truly finish anyth

Mind if I borrow that one kind sir

[Kralizec]

Forgive me padre, it was three days since my last confession.

-I used to be a really quite and shy fellow in my teens. Nowadays I alternate between quite phases and times when I just can't keep my mouth shut.
-I peed in the shower this morning...

[Monk]

Mind if I borrow that one kind sir

Go right ahead.

[Hooahguy]

another one:
i stutter

[||Lz3||]

I haven't kissed a woman in my life... nor having a gf, and I don't feel like doing so.

And well, I don't think someone would like to be with me <.<

and I'm 17

Curiously I'm happy with my life 9/10 of the time

[pevergreen]

Trust me, it is over rated.

As long as you feel like you don't need one, having one is a bad idea.

Good on you.

[Samurai Waki]

-I have told my wife I was running to the store when in fact I went to the bar and had a few pints with the lads.
-I enjoy watching Futbol more than American Sports (and I'm an American.)
-I traded in my Mustang for a Mini Van, she got to keep her VW Bug
-I sometimes burst out laughing during sex (maybe because I think its really awesome, or because in essence its really funny.)
-I like the sound of bagpipes...
-I haven't played a Computer game in 6 months
-I can't stand the winter... I hate anything and everything to do with snow and cold, ironically I live in the state that annually gets the lowest temperatures in the lower 48 and one of the greatest amounts of snowfall.
-I drink wine like a barbarian, I don't sip, I guzzle... usually from the bottle. The Wine Rack has been empty for a year.
- I am terrible at math. I nearly fail every year I've taken it. On a similar note I'm working on my BA in Economics.
-I usually tell people who are religious that I'm Catholic, the last time I was in a Catholic church was during my Confirmation when I was sixteen, that was eight years ago.
- My daughters are just beginning how to learn some basic speech, Liv's first word was "Dad'a", Ally's was "Bastard."
-I haven't worked out in over a month.
-I think my wife is too beautiful for me, and I'm a sexy beast.

And Finally

-I've probably taken every drug known to man, I've spent time in jail and rehab, but enrolled in college shortly thereafter, I haven't used in nearly four years. My wife didn't know about any of that until after she was already pregnant, and I know she struggles even to this day with a "what if he's still using scenario." I understand her concern, but I can't change the past, I quit drinking entirely two months ago to keep her happy, the only things that matter to me are my daughters and my wife, and I don't need anything else.

[Rhyfelwyr]

I haven't kissed a woman in my life... nor having a gf, and I don't feel like doing so.

And well, I don't think someone would like to be with me <.<

and I'm 17

Curiously I'm happy with my life 9/10 of the time

Same, and I'm 19. But so what, why wouldn't you be happy when you've got TW???

[scotchedpommes]

- I can't stop drinking [the stronger liquidstuffs] on a dangerously frequent basis. The apple is king. And
maybe some sparkly goodness.

- I like [I would normally say liked, but this'd merely be a lie in a pathetic attempt to save face]
Estonian imitation Britpop. I have since 2003.

- My sight is deteriorating rapidly. [This is in no way related to the above. I now increase the font size
here several times more than I did six years ago when I joined.] The only solution to this is transplant
surgery.

- It could be said that I too admire certain .org members from afar- although I could not possibly
engage them in any kind of conversation, as political 'consciousness' shapes my perceptions of others
to an extent I would be limted to displaying nothing other than contempt. Unless they want to talk
about football.

- In similar ways, I hold many absurd prejudices.

- When I was younger, and so obviously didn't know any better, I was quite fond of a football team
that shall remain unnamed.