Arguments for and against Creationism in American schools

[Askthepizzaguy]

Jolt, Shhhh.

Santa Claus exists, and he mated with the Tooth Fairy to give us Jesus. That's a scientific fact which can never be disproved. And when Jesus comes back to life and mates with the Easter Bunny, she will give birth to the four horsemen of the Apocalypse and all the sinners will go burn in hell as the Earth is being destroyed. Again, everyone knows this is scientific fact, and so-called "evolution" has ZERO evidence.

There's way more evidence for my theory. After all, look around you... didn't you see lots of evidence of Santa Claus this year? He was freakin' EVERYWHERE. My teeth kept disappearing when I was a kid. Jesus and Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are related, that's in the Bible somewhere in the back. So there's more proof here than evolution, which is just a bunch of nonsense. You can't prove anything by looking at rocks and examining the fossilized remains of creatures that God put there to test our faith. Furthermore, micro-evolution could never possibly be macro-evolution because history only started 6000 years ago, so there hasn't been enough time for it.

And Darwin makes baby Jesus cry. Be nice to Jesus.