Your 20 Watt Lightbulb-actions OR The EB Hall of Shame

[Hax]

So, there is the moment everyone's been waiting for (not really, though)

To counter the threat of the 'Post Heroic' thread by our beloved (again, not really, methinks) Maksimus, here is the Hall of Shame for everyone that plays EB.

Tell us all about your gravest, most infuriating, embarrassing defeats here!

If such a thread already exists, thou mayst poketh out myne eyen.

[Hooahguy]

well, i was attacking Athenai as the Maks in a short-lived capmaign with a full stack & a FM against 5 units of rebels, and thinking i would win, i chose to auto-calc. big mistake. it was a crushing defeat and only a couple hundred of my men survived, not including my FM. i was so mad, i stopped playing the Maks and switched back to my old romani. then 1.0 came, and i went to the baktrians.....

[Danest]

I once took a green 16 yr old family member with unsure troops and an untested hayasdan army with only one unit of horse archers against a seleukid full stack led by the 5 star faction leader. So, honestly, I don't think many of you can beat that one, as far as bad ideas in the hall of shame goes. ;)

[TWFanatic]

Never had any against the AI. I find it simply too stupid to lose to unless I purposely try to put myself in an impossible situation.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Today I sallied out, won a heroic victory against supperior troops with a 2:1 advantage but lost half my army in the process, which caused riots in the city.

That was annoying.

[phonicsmonkey]

In my very first EB battle I decided to test out how difficult the mod would be, and so I just did what I would usually do in RTW and would result in a victory virtually everytime

so I charged my small force of green Aedui spearmen up a hill at a full stack of experienced and bloodthirsty Arveni led by a six (?) star general

o the carnage, 'twas was brutal to behold

[Moosemanmoo]

Deployed my awesome elite mak phalanxes in a straight line, so far so good. Ordered them to march forward to attack, they all move to the same point, completely screwing up formation. The AI didn't give me a chance and mercilessly sent it's entire gallatian horde (3 times more of them)


I got raped

[The Persian Cataphract]

I got raped

...You know, that's a very courageous confession

<_<

>_>

Were you in prison or something?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Sorry, I couldn't resist

[konny]

Beat this: I lost a defensive bridge-battle with a full stack of expensive mercs inclduing one phalanx, let by an experinced FM. I still don't know what exactly had happened, but suddenly I had a chain route and all were running for safety across the bridge . No chance to rally them again, all were slaughtered instantly. The last thing I did was to charge the general into the next enemy phalanx, because that was something he could have hardly explained to the king.

[Boyar Son]

I lost one of my _best_ generals in a battle while seiging patavium.

never use commanding generals to attack ever again.

[konny]

Mounted generals, Romans in particular, have no business in a siege battle in EB. That was something I learned - by the loss of Cotta - in my very first EB campaign assaulting Taras.

[Bonny]

It happend in EB 1.0.

My Karthadast Army led by the famous spartan merc Xanthippos and his first officer Hamilkar Barkas attacked a Roman Army with 2 reinforcements near Capua. He had a 1:3 disadvantage but he underestimating the AI.

On the beginning of the battle he send all troops to a big rock in the center of the battlefield. The first roman Army reached the karthadastim line just as they had arrived and formed up. The battle was long and on the beginning the Libu Phoenicians were almost able to crush the first Legion, but then the other two Legions arrived at the side of battle and attacked from the left and rigth flank. Eventually a roman general and some units of triarii broke the left Karthadastim flank and killed Hamilkar. At this moment Xanthippus realized that he could not win this battle and tried to escape, saving at least his life and that of his remaining soldiers. In a desperate move he broke though the right flank and escaped with what was left of his once mighty forces.

The defeat was crushing although a roman Legion had been destroyed and some units including Xanthippus could escape. But for Rome ist was not over yet. In the next turn a roman assasin killed Xanthippus and a roman expeditonary force killed all who had survived.
It was a bad day for the Safot Sofim bi Quarthadast....

[Boyar Son]

Mounted generals, Romans in particular, have no business in a siege battle in EB. That was something I learned - by the loss of Cotta - in my very first EB campaign assaulting Taras.

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

[Admetos]

It happend in EB 1.0.

My Karthadast Army led by the famous spartan merc Xanthippos and his first officer Hamilkar Barkas attacked a Roman Army with 2 reinforcements near Capua. He had a 1:3 disadvantage but he underestimating the AI.

On the beginning of the battle he send all troops to a big rock in the center of the battlefield. The first roman Army reached the karthadastim line just as they had arrived and formed up. The battle was long and on the beginning the Libu Phoenicians were almost able to crush the first Legion, but then the other two Legions arrived at the side of battle and attacked from the left and rigth flank. Eventually a roman general and some units of triarii broke the left Karthadastim flank and killed Hamilkar. At this moment Xanthippus realized that he could not win this battle and tried to escape, saving at least his life and that of his remaining soldiers. In a desperate move he broke though the right flank and escaped with what was left of his once mighty forces.

The defeat was crushing although a roman Legion had been destroyed and some units including Xanthippus could escape. But for Rome ist was not over yet. In the next turn a roman assasin killed Xanthippus and a roman expeditonary force killed all who had survived.
It was a bad day for the Safot Sofim bi Quarthadast....

Ouch!

[Xehh II]

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

KH generals are pretty good in melee

[Mouzafphaerre]

.
Lost my dreaded Lusotannan general who had conquered half of Italy and 2/3rd of Sicily to an earthquake.
.

[antisocialmunky]

KH generals are pretty good in melee

I've only ever lost one of the KH ones and that was a triple speed melee against the Getaic hordes that too like 2 minutes to resolve itself. I've had another flee from battle THROUGH a Getaic horde too .

Also, the Hai and Parthian generals stand well in battle due to their silly armor.

[Constantine the Great]

As the Seleucids, it went like this. I took my king's royal, experienced, elite army out to Krete, took the city, exterminated the population, then moved my king back onto the ships, because I made a type 4 government. I hit end turn, and the entire settlement and army inside of it defect to the KH. Only my naval dominance prevented KH from retrieving it's new elite army and using it to crush me, though it set me back years in my conquest of the Levant.

[MiniMe]

Tonight I've lost 7star general, one unit of eles, six Agema Clerouchikon, four Basilikon Agema, two Hetairoi, two Lonchoporoi Hippeis and four Toxotai Siriakoi.
They were sailing to Sicily on a cheap boat.

[tapanojum]

As Lusottan, I spent several turns training the ultimate force that would just smash across the continent conquering everything in its way. After conquering a few settlements, I fight a Qarthadast army 2:3 ratio and am doing great. I zoom in on the front lines to show my friend what RTW-EB is like, only to find my general a minute later sorrounded completely by 2 enemy FM's (I forgot my General was Idle behind my lines), before I could do anything, he died and my entire army routed soon after, taking extremely high casualties and ending this ultimate force I pulled together. My greatest general and force completely wiped out......very pathetic =[

[Geoffrey S]

It's not an EB one, but vanilla RTW. I had a great Roman general with a small group of Romans and a number of mercs attacked by two Makedonian armies in Illyria, outnumbered and outclassed at 3:1. Fighting a defensive battle around a small hill and losing over half the army I finally routed the enemy in a spectacular epic victory. This was marred somewhat by having my star general chasing a routing enemy which was also targeted by some of my slingers, who knocked the poor general of his horse.

[Morte66]

My two worst moments both involve hitting Ctrl-D by accident when I had the stack in a city selected and ready to sally against a besieging army.

[It disbands the selected units, with no "Are you sure?" popup.]

[tapanojum]

My two worst moments both involve hitting Ctrl-D by accident when I had the stack in a city selected and ready to sally against a besieging army.

[It disbands the selected units, with no "Are you sure?" popup.]

The enemy must of been VERY thrilled....did you not reload?

[konny]

is there _any_ general that can stand in a melee?

The two with foot guards (Sweboz and KH) are of course the most valuable units in the early game. Of the mounted generals the Armenian and Pontos ones can be of some use in a siege battle when they manage to get behind the enemy or when facing non-spear units. The Hellenic BGs might do well too, but I usually keep them away from narrow streets.

Equites, Brihentin, and chariots(!) should not enter towns as long as there is anything above skirmishers inside. The chariots not even then.

[Philippus Flavius Homovallumus]

Successor Generals (the Companion ones) are pretty much lethal against anything no pointing a spear at them. Even then I've seen the AI front-charge a phalanx and live to tell the tale.

[pezhetairoi]

I wonder why you say that about the cavalry, they work very nicely in the cities, as long as infantry is pinning the enemy. After all,that's what cavalry is for. If you use them to take the brunt of the fight, it stands to reason you lose, right?

My worst mistake was strategic. I attacked Antiocheia as Hayasdan even when I had only a single fullstack and knowing AS was allied with the Ptolemaioi. As a result the Yellows entered the fray and pinned down my fullstack in the west while the Seleukids recovered from their initial spate of crushing defeats and attacked me in the east.

[Morte66]

I wonder why you say that about the cavalry, they work very nicely in the cities, as long as infantry is pinning the enemy.

I sometimes get them working nicely if the infantry pins and the cavalry goes around the houses to attack the enemy rear. And sometimes near the gate there's room to hit a flank. But it can be hard to get them to charge with the horrible pathing in towns, and EB cavalry are all about the charge bonus.

My worst mistake was strategic. I attacked Antiocheia [...]

Looking back, I made the same mistake in my last Pontos game. Taking Antiocheia gave me a border with Ptolies. I'd already taken Tarsos and Side and made peace, but once I had a border with them again the AI started a fight pretty quickly and it would never end until I conquered them. This meant I had to fight the AS and the Ptolies at the same time.

I should have worked east through the mountains and down into Mesopotamia, and got my MICs for Kinsmen and Klereuchoi Phalangitai built, before adding the Ptolies to my enemies. Or I could have held choke points against the Greys and expanded across the Aegean and Black Sea.

[woad&fangs]

Two vanilla and one EB

Vanilla 1: As Thrace
My veteran merc army had just taken Patavium with heavy casualties. I was left with roughly the equivalent of a 1/4 stack. A few turns later the Brutii attacked a small nearby field army of mine and the Patavium army was used as the reinforcements. Now then, here is the real kick in the nuts. My Patavium army was led by my faction leader. A 6 star baddie known as Gyros"Scarface". Through a combination of traits and ancillaries (most importantly the horribly scarred trait) he had 16 hitpoints. In his previous battles he had killed more than 4,000 romans with just his bodyguard. He died in under a minute. I still have no idea what happened. Anyways, the rest of my army decided against messing with the Romans at that point and routed.

Vanilla 2: Brittania
My fullstack with the faction leader against two roman full stacks. I used every fear inducing trick in the Brittanian arsenal at once and thus routed one fullstack in less than 20 seconds after our lines met. I then engaged the other roman fullstack in mindless melee where my better equipped army won with medium casualties. I wanted to make sure that they wouldn't bother me again for a long time so I clicked on "continue the battle" 2 seconds later my Faction leader was smoked in the back of the head by my own slingers. grrrrr.

EB: Lusottannaan
Yes, I see that Numantia has a lot of troops. Yes, I know that I have to have a good army to attack them. Yes I can see they have a fullstack. *sieges Numantia with my fullstack(my entire army) and factionleader*. O, so that's what that warning message meant.*looks at the full rebel stack that spawned nearby* Ah, I can take them if I can beat the Numantian army and then fight street battles with the other rebel stack. *dang, that didn't work*

[Puupertti Ruma]

One of my 20 watt lightbulb moments was with Numantia too. After the stack had spawned, I suffered a humiliating defeat, as I had only about a half-stack. That's not so bad. Then I attack it again with about 2/3's of a stack and fail. Don't remember exactly what happened but I got my rear handed to me. Well, being wiser I attack with a good amount of troops and finally destroy that pesky stack. I then carry on to assault Numantia. My plans of just and terrible revenge were somewhat toppled when another stack spawns next to Numantia and eradicate my army, again.

[konny]

But it can be hard to get them to charge with the horrible pathing in towns, and EB cavalry are all about the charge bonus.

Yes, that's it. In street fights there isn't enough room to manouver around, in particular getting cavalry in a good position for a charge. Even more problematic can be to get cavalry out of the fight when it had run into trouble, or to get infantry support close: a unit of Pantodapoi can block your entire infantry for some time, while Hoplites cut down your horsemen that tried to flank the enemy. And don't forget we are talking about FMs.