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Thread: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

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    ibn fuzzayd Member The Fuzz's Avatar
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    Default Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Sorry if there's been a topic on this - I searched a few terms but nothing came up.

    One aspect that I am missing from EB (and that EU:R stuffs up completely) is family intrigue. Every time you open a book on Ptolemaic Egypt, for example, you are greeted by stories of rows upon rows of people named Cleopatra doing naughty things with people named Ptolemy. This excites me.

    Through traits, or something would it be possible to occasionally have a massive orgy (pun definitely intended) of terrible events due to an angry wife and/or jealous mistress? I know that there are mistress ancillaries and traits and all that good stuff, but I'm looking for more specific things. Rarer things that might occur twice in a game, or perhaps not all. Maybe if some guy has a mistress ancillary, and works in a gymno-forgot the rest of the word, and he's on the road a lot, he can get a trait about how he's dating his half-sister and his wife is none-too-pleased and she's trying to get him overthrown and replaced by his deformed younger brother that she had been sleeping with to try to get back at said named character?

    Let me use names and break it down, because I'm getting confused.

    Let's say you have someone named Πτολεμαίος XV ἰδιώτης, and he's often on the road, fighting endless stacks of low-level Seleucid phalangites. So he picks up a mistress. Her name is inconsequential. When he used to reside in the lovely city of Crocodilopolis (totally a nice place - ignore the name, it's like the Greenland/Iceland thing), he worked in a Gymnasion (?). This, coupled with the mistress, would give him a trait 'sexually voracious'. He also has a trait called 'keeping it in the family', which basically every Ptolemaic named character should have. He should probably also have a 'slightly deformed' trait.

    If Πτολεμαίος XV ἰδιώτης gains all these traits and ancillaries, there would be a small chance he gets an ancillary named 'Κλεοπάτρα LXI', which would have the description 'This man has been spending a lot of time away from his wife, and his needs must be satisfied. This woman is his wife's daughter from a previous (also incestuous) marriage, and she fits the bill. As a result of this slight, your wife is attempting to overthrow you and put your deformed, obese, and dim-witted bastard half-brother in the throne. They have been inciting riots across kingdom in an attempt to shake your hold on power.'

    Or maybe that could be one of those event pop-ups. Maybe some unrest would occur in a few major cities.

    .........

    I got carried away, I'll grant you that. But I'm looking for a bone to get thrown role-playing way.

    Cheers, and as always, keep up the good work.

  2. #2
    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuzz View Post
    One aspect that I am missing from EB (and that EU:R stuffs up completely) is family intrigue. Every time you open a book on Ptolemaic Egypt, for example, you are greeted by stories of rows upon rows of people named Cleopatra doing naughty things with people named Ptolemy. This excites me.


    Yeah, I think that there should be more-intermarrying in the family tree. I suppose the engine prevents it, but it would be more historically accurate, plus out of family marriage etc.

  3. #3
    Member Megas Methuselah's Avatar
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    Exclamation Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Lol, this excites you? God, I hope you don't have a sister...

    Anyways, I agree with Subotan. If princesses of some sort are to be included in EB2, I think they should be given the option to marry their brothers (only the Ptolemaics, but I don't know). In M2TW, whenever I couldn't find a use for my princesses, I just gave them to their cousins. Royalty can find odd ways to kill time.
    Last edited by Megas Methuselah; 12-30-2008 at 21:42. Reason: Clown.

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    Member Member penguinking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    This is an excellent idea.
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    Ni dieu ni maître! Senior Member a completely inoffensive name's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    This thread title and The Fuzz's post gets an ACIN rating of two thumbs up.
    In all these papers we see a love of honest work, an aversion to shams, a caution in the enunciation of conclusions, a distrust of rash generalizations and speculations based on uncertain premises. He was never anxious to add one more guess on doubtful matters in the hope of hitting the truth, or what might pass as such for a time, but was always ready to take infinite pains in the most careful testing of every theory. With these qualities was united a modesty which forbade the pushing of his own claims and desired no reputation except the unsought tribute of competent judges.

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    Satalextos Basileus Seron Member satalexton's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    well, i'm not too keen on sleeping with my sister, but i sure want to sleep with YOUR sister >_>




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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    The Fuzz knows how to entertain a crowd. I know it.

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    Captain of Team Awesome Member Ignopotens's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuzz View Post
    Every time you open a book on Ptolemaic Egypt, for example, you are greeted by stories of rows upon rows of people named Cleopatra doing naughty things with people named Ptolemy. This excites me.

    Comedy Gold right there.
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    Sharp/Charismatic/Languorous Member Novellus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by The Fuzz View Post
    I got carried away, I'll grant you that. But I'm looking for a bone to get thrown role-playing way.
    Interesting idea.....it'd put in a few surprises in the biographies. But try to keep the role-playing in the game. Otherwise.....well......yeah. Don't get carried away.
    Last edited by Novellus; 12-31-2008 at 23:47.
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  10. #10

    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    With or without fully including these suggestions, it is well known that the Ptolemies were rather demented and deformed on their own thanks to massive inbreeding, so I hope the EB team takes that into consideration. Also to slow down their blob, since idiots are less likely to do well on auto_calc.

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    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    With or without fully including these suggestions, it is well known that the Ptolemies were rather demented and deformed
    Ehm.. what? I've never heard of that.

    Kleopatra Philopator did manage to hook unto two of the greatest Roman generals.
    This space intentionally left blank.

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    Speaker of Truth Senior Member Moros's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by Hax View Post
    Ehm.. what? I've never heard of that.

    Kleopatra Philopator did manage to hook unto two of the greatest Roman generals.
    Yeah but did you ever see her nose?

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    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    I only heard that it was pretty much hooked, but apart from that, never heard of any mental deficits.
    This space intentionally left blank.

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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Kleopatra VII was rather lucky, given that many of her relatives & ancestors were reportedly obese and had a strange deformity with swollen eyes or the likes. If you research well you will find it.

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    Member Member Hax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Alright, I understand. I have only marginal knowledge concerning this.

    This space intentionally left blank.

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    Member Megas Methuselah's Avatar
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    Question Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    On the topic of her hooking together with two great Romans, I think the Romans found Roman noses to be attractive. "Of the eagles," etc. That, or just because she was the ruler of a considerable kingdom.

    But yeah, I did hear about the obesity found in the dynasty's members, but can you tell me more about the eyes?

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    Villiage Idiot Member antisocialmunky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by Moros View Post
    Yeah but did you ever see her nose?
    http://images.google.com/images?um=1...cleopatra+coin
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  18. #18

    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Do fudging want.
    Last edited by Foot; 01-03-2009 at 01:02. Reason: swear-words






  19. #19
    master of the wierd people Member Ibrahim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by Leviathan DarklyCute View Post
    Do fudging want.




    that made no sensegoing over it again, and again, and again.
    Last edited by Foot; 01-03-2009 at 01:03. Reason: quoted swear words
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    Guest Boyar Son's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by antisocialmunky View Post


    HBO'z ROME lied to me.

  21. #21
    Guest desert's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    What didn't you get, Ibrahim?

    The expression itself, or his penchant for ugly women?

  22. #22

    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by antisocialmunky View Post
    Ehrm... if you use coins of a hellenistic monarch (well, queen in this case) then you may or may not have a faithful depiction of his (her) face; but chances are that some distinct Alexander-look-alike 'features' have crept in. That nose is one:
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    Villiage Idiot Member antisocialmunky's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    That very well may be true, but don't other historical sources and accepted depictions refer to her big nose?

    At any rate, if you're talking about epic noses, Ramses has a great one:

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  24. #24

    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Quote Originally Posted by Ibrahim View Post


    Quote Originally Posted by Leviathan DarklyCute View Post
    Do fudging want.
    that made no sensegoing over it again, and again, and again.
    I think it's supposed to be the emphatic contrapositive of "Do Not Want".

    And about Cleopatra's *ahem* "beauty", Plutarch had this to say:

    For her beauty, as we are told, was in itself not altogether incomparable, nor such as to strike those who saw her; but converse with her had an irresistible charm, and her presence, combined with the persuasiveness of her discourse and the character which was somehow diffused about her behaviour towards others, had something stimulating about it. There was sweetness also in the tones of her voice; and her tongue, like an instrument of many strings, she could readily turn to whatever language she pleased...

    Not that I'm a Cleopatra historian, but my impression is that she was every bit as charismatic as she was plain to look upon.

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    Voluntary Suspension Voluntary Suspension Philippus Flavius Homovallumus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    We had an internal discussion about this a while back, to no mod-realted purpose I might add, and we came to the conclusion that even if Cleo was not the most gorgeous womanon Earth she still had a lot going for her. Not withstanding what has been said, she probably had all her own teeth.
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    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    If she was good enough for Julius Caesar, Mark Antony, and her brother, she's good enough for me.

  27. #27
    EB:NOM Triumvir Member gamegeek2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Heh, I heard that the sun in Canaan and Egypt makes the womens' boobs bigger


















    NOT!
    Last edited by gamegeek2; 01-04-2009 at 02:58.
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    Tuba Son Member Subotan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Source?

  29. #29
    Near East TW Mod Leader Member Cute Wolf's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Well, just add trait... Inbreed on Ptolemies' Family tree... and you in EB...

    ROLEPLAYING TO MAKE THEM SANE..... wakakakakaka.......

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    Ni dieu ni maître! Senior Member a completely inoffensive name's Avatar
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    Default Re: Incest and other exciting Hellenistic pastimes

    Huh, you learn something new every day.
    In all these papers we see a love of honest work, an aversion to shams, a caution in the enunciation of conclusions, a distrust of rash generalizations and speculations based on uncertain premises. He was never anxious to add one more guess on doubtful matters in the hope of hitting the truth, or what might pass as such for a time, but was always ready to take infinite pains in the most careful testing of every theory. With these qualities was united a modesty which forbade the pushing of his own claims and desired no reputation except the unsought tribute of competent judges.

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