Screw ancient parties, i'd spend all day in the Colosseum watching Christians and Jews get thrown to the lions and fight to the death while eating ancient Roman hamburgers and getting drunk to the point of passing out on the finest wines of south Italy.
Nah, why not join the army at that rate? You get wine and women, AND you get to do the actual killing. S'pose the latter's not that exciting, but at least you get paid to expand the borders of Rome (and keep out barbarians)!