How to get Published?

[Decker]

So Somebody Else, was there any specific reason for dismissing 80 odd submissions? Besides like, bad ideas, horrible grammar, etc...?? Any tips you could give out?

[Strike For The South]

Buy your own printing press.

[Decker]

Too lazy too... maybe if you bought it for me.....

[Strike For The South]

They can't be that expensive.

[Decker]

Exactly, it wouldn't cost me a dime if you bought it for me

[Strike For The South]

tooshay

[Yoyoma1910]

tooshay

touché



You will never get published if you misspell words.

[Somebody Else]

So Somebody Else, was there any specific reason for dismissing 80 odd submissions? Besides like, bad ideas, horrible grammar, etc...?? Any tips you could give out?

There were a lot of really outlandish ideas - for example, the first submission I looked at was a story about how Hitler and Eva escaped the bunker, to go off and live in Brazil for a while, until Mossad found them and shipped them off in a crate to Israel.

Speaking of which, I am a bit of a Nazi when it comes to syntax and grammar - poorly written work offends me (and I don't mean spelling, that can be easily rectified).

Some were so dull they was a trial to read - nothing like dismissing a book after the 3rd line...

I remember one was entertaining, well written, &c. - but it was somewhat lacking in plot, so that failed.

Market forces are also an issue - publishing is a business, and if a book won't catch the mood, it won't sell. That, and telling the same story as someone else is a problem - if a big name author has just published a book on a subject, no-one is likely to do well trying the same thing.

Thing is - a book has to be entertaining, it has to be something that someone is happy to sit down and read - so if I couldn't happily do that (and I did have a sofa and endless tea), then the submission failed, and I read pretty much anything. (Although I'd have dismissed James Joyce for being a loon)

If you have written something, the best thing to do is to try it on your friends first - if they like it, then send it to several agencies. (Try friends first because it's cheaper... but they could be biased, of course). It's also worth checking what the agencies specialise in - it's no good trying to get specialists in children's literature to promote a hard-boiled detective novel... As I said before, most publishers will simply ignore any submissions - they have agencies to sort out the dross.

Remember, everyone thinks they have a book in them. In most cases, it's just gas.

[Kekvit Irae]

Have sexual relations with the publisher. That's how Twilight got published.

[Lemur]

Here, this video should explain everything: From the Typewriter to the Bookstore.

[pevergreen]

Have sexual relations with the publisher. That's how Twilight got published.

I knew there was some weird reason.

[naut]

Have sexual relations with the publisher. That's how Twilight got published.

I KNEW IT! AH HA!

[Kekvit Irae]

How else would a pile of bullplop could make it on a bookstore's shelf and spawn legions of raving lunatics and fangirls? Warning: Said link will make your ears bleed and give you nightmares until the day you die.

[naut]

On a serious note. Getting published is damn, damn hard. I'm currently trying to, but it's not something you could actually rely on for an income, it's not feasible. How to get published? Well it depends:

• You get lucky
• You know someone in the industry
• You have a commercial gimmick (aka Harry Potter)
• You write for the current market trends and wants (which usually involves a Satanic ritual and selling your soul to Lucifer)
• You are ridiculously good

[Alexanderofmacedon]

Depends. For mine, I'm trying to find a small firm that specializes in military history. The small ones will usually do quality work, but not give you a ton of profit. I get very little, and it amounts to only a bit more than what I spent on research.

That's just what happens....author's are not rich people (unless you hit it big).

[seireikhaan]

How else would a pile of bullplop could make it on a bookstore's shelf and spawn legions of raving lunatics and fangirls? Warning: Said link will make your ears bleed and give you nightmares until the day you die.

That... was a joke, right...? Right...?

[pevergreen]

I don't think so 'khaan.