I'm so sad now. The hats and facial hair was really the only reason I was going to purchase the game, guess I'll be cancelling my pre-order.
I heard that rubbing the juices from an adult toad on your upper lip every night before bed works wonders.
If that doesn't work then you have to find yourseld a paticularly long haired doormouse, kill it, and staple it to your face. After a few days it should become a wondroues moustache!
For proper gentlemanly muttonchop sideburns the best thing to do is to buy some actual mutton, leave it out in the sun until it becomes hairy and (you guessed it) shave off the hair and glue it to yourself.
Hope this helped those who are facial hair impared. (I personally could not grow a moustache or beard to save my life. I am forever doomed to have the face of a sixteen year old, and always be checked for ID in pubs.)
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