Carthaginian construction reports

[Silence Hunter]

I always enjoy reading the very descriptive and full of interesting information building descriptions. That is one of the best things in EB. I once more would like to thank all EB team for their dedication.

However one particular thing amazed me to the level that my friend came into my room asking "what's so funny?". Here it is:

*warning: image heavy*

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

The person who made these is genius! Thank you very much!

My question is: are there any more factions which have similar construction reports? By similar I mean so funny.




P.S. my favourite is Grand Magistrate's chambers

[Dayve]

Good thing i never read construction reports... although that would be funny after a couple of glasses of wine, it's kind of a buzz kill.

[antisocialmunky]

I never read thatm nearly that much but I didn't see anything all that great in the Greek and Roman ones.

[HunGeneral]

I also noticed thoose - I find them very enjoyeable
This alone always makes me think on starting a quarthadast camapign once in a while...

I think the western Hellenes (Makedone, Epeiros - never played KH) have some funny ones - I quess the markets and above all some of the ports but basic roads has the best of all. Better check thoose aswell.

The romans are quite nice aswell alhought there really far behind the Carthies in case of Humor.

I haven't noticed the reports of the eastern Hellenes to be too humorous but there units are great enough to make up for it

About the others I have no Idea

[Aemilius Paulus]

I never read thatm nearly that much but I didn't see anything all that great in the Greek and Roman ones.

Same here. I never saw any particularly amusing Roman ones. All of them were very accurate, and succinct. I do however seem to remember seeing a partially humorous description of the Greek Stone Walls. Nothing else though, not that I remember. Heh, those are some laughable Easter eggs! I wonder what motivated the EB team to do such scandalous thing?!?

The only truly farcical joke I have seen on EB was that time I found an AS general with that "likes-to-watch-naked-females-in-the-gym" trait. In the end it actually said "Do I have to spell it out for you? :)" I wonder what it was referring to though. Sex?

[Centurio Nixalsverdrus]

"No unsacrificed child will be left behind here now" is da burner.

I always read the descriptions, at least the ones of the more seldom and expensive buildings. I think I even read most of the long descriptions (except the super long ones).

[A Very Super Market]

Nah, more like... getting to know himself...

Perhaps this is a joke on how soft the Carthaginians were compared to the other people *cough *cough

[desert]

Sweboz has some really funny ones too. Especially for the granary - I'll try to reconstruct it:

"We had finished construction of this granary when someone came up and said that we didn't need to store our food for the winter. Boy, were we surprised when we heard that! So was he, when we ripped out his innards and showed them to him. Life is funny like that sometimes."

The beginning is just completely made up, but I'm pretty sure of the rest.

[Silence Hunter]

The only truly farcical joke I have seen on EB was that time I found an AS general with that "likes-to-watch-naked-females-in-the-gym" trait. In the end it actually said "Do I have to spell it out for you? :)" I wonder what it was referring to though. Sex?

I think that trait is Gynaiconomos. Though not entirely sure about the spelling. I think most of the Hellenic factions get that one. I remember getting it in my Epeiros campaign. What's the most fun about those carthaginian reports is that pretty much 90% of buildings have really funny ones.

"And for some reason now we can magically buid lots of other things here too. Weird how that works."

EB is amazing...

[Tyrfingr]

Two other favorites of mine, made me laugh so hard I shot milk through my nose...(not really, but you get the picture)

[Aemilius Paulus]

We honesty should have a poll on this. No child left behind, razors & sheckels, and the "magically build lot of new buildings" are my favourite.

So, who's the lad who made all of these? Or was there a couple? It sounded like the same bloke to me, but you never know. That person really deserves an award, or at least some recognition.

[Aemilius Paulus]

The only truly farcical joke I have seen on EB was that time I found an AS general with that "likes-to-watch-naked-females-in-the-gym" trait. In the end it actually said "Do I have to spell it out for you? :)" I wonder what it was referring to though. Sex?

But seriously, what was that referring to? The question bugs me every time I think of EB.

[gamegeek2]

It refers to the long word, Aemilius. I think the EB team, who included Hetairai as ancillaries, would be able to say sex easily enough.

[Mediolanicus]

You guys never noticed that? Strange.

I have another question though. Why are so many of those funny descriptions removed?
Other factions used to have those as well. I remember playing as the Romani in 1.0 and laughing my ass off, particulary with the port descriptions.

[Ibn-Khaldun]

Are they all EB descriptions or are they from Vanilla??

[HunGeneral]

A much as I have experienced these are all from EB - vanilla had very few such "message descriptions" which could be called funny.

EB however is full of them (1.2 atleast)

Thats one more bonus for the Mod and and extra reason to thank the EB team

[machinor]

Yep, playing as Carthage is always fun. I remember laughing out loud when I read the description of the Merchant's Quarter. "Eight blades for only five shekels!!!! Awww, you're just jealous!!"
Since my EB Carthage campaigns I consider the Carthaginians to be one of the most humorous people in history.

[theoldbelgian]

I remember with the romani or the greeks can't remember right that by a certain level of markets he said that there are
constant noises of cars and merchant yelling but it didn't matter because it was only the poor people that lived there

another thing: funny speeches: I heard once with the romani (had some of those samnite spearman) and i was attacking some italian rebels and the guy said one thing:

remember guys, no ropeskipping with the entrails this time

i was litterly thinking have i heard that right that can't be (but i gues thats vanilla stuff but still very amusing :P)

[Aemilius Paulus]

Soooo, the nomadic and barbarian cultures also have these descriptions? Can anyone confirm that the Romani lost theirs BTW? I have not played EB in two months , nor do I have time to open it up right now.

[Cute Wolf]

The pontos have funnier ones about Lamp freaking satrap

[Ludens]

So, who's the lad who made all of these? Or was there a couple? It sounded like the same bloke to me, but you never know. That person really deserves an award, or at least some recognition.

I have another question though. Why are so many of those funny descriptions removed?

AFAIK Teleklos Archelaou wrote them to encourage certain Faction Coordinators to write their own. And I like them, even if not all of them are very good. That should also answer Mediolanicus' question: they were removed because the FC's got round to writing something.

Are they all EB descriptions or are they from Vanilla??

These are from EB. Vanilla descriptions were mostly bland, excepting one or two Easter eggs.

[antisocialmunky]

...then is there anyway one of you EB guys could put up an old building description file for those of us who like the funny stuff so we don't have to re-download the old versions and manually pull that file out?

[Mediolanicus]

...then is there anyway one of you EB guys could put up an old building description file for those of us who like the funny stuff so we don't have to re-download the old versions and manually pull that file out?

Seconded.



Sorry for the FC guys but Teleklos' construction reports were better than the dry notes we've got now...

FC guys did a good job on the real descriptions though

[Silence Hunter]

Seconded.



Sorry for the FC guys but Teleklos' construction reports were better than the dry notes we've got now...

FC guys did a good job on the real descriptions though

I agree 100%. These little construction reports adds some spice to the game. We are still going to read the real descriptions, but having a laugh is always healthy.

[Moros]

So you guys like a silly joke better instead? Nice, that'll save me some research and writing time.

[Tiberius Claudius Marcellus]

I agree 100%. These little construction reports adds some spice to the game. We are still going to read the real descriptions, but having a laugh is always healthy.

I fourth the motion!

These humorous paragraphs are only on the screen that tells you that a building has been built. If they left the historically accurate/informative description for when you right click on the building card, that would be a perfect combo.

[Silence Hunter]

So you guys like a silly joke better instead? Nice, that'll save me some research and writing time.

Building descriptions and construction reports are two different things. I am sorry if me (or anyone else for that matter) sounded as if they like silly jokes instead of historical info. Building descriptions are one of the best EB aspects. I think most of the people read them.

Construction reports are an entirely different thing. It's one of the scrolls that comes after you press ent turn button. It's usually short descriptions of what has been buit in your empire this turn. However some of them are very basic, while other are very funny. As you probably saw, people like these funny little reports.

Once again sorry for a misunderstanding.

(btw if there was only one building built during the turn, the report will show it's full description)

[Moros]

Oh noes, don't. I wasn't taking it a bad way. What I said was mere in jest.

[Connacht]

I'd like to see only funny descriptions in the messages showning builded infrastructures (and why not? even just trained units), while the real historical description should be in the proper info-window of the building.

[antisocialmunky]

Yeah, no sane person reads the reports after a given amount of time.