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Thread: Need some imput...

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    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Need some imput...

    Alright.. Umm...

    I've been writing about a story of epic mosquitoes. And heres what happened.

    Basic plot is that there is this tribe of mosquitoes which is suffering from diseases. And one guys (Bob for now) wife and children gets the disease and they are about to die. When Bob goes outside the hospital, he meets the witches and are told that blood of God is the only way to cure the sickness. So him and few other brave men goes out to the house of God (Humans) and attempts to take their blood but they get killed.

    The readers doesn't get told the characters in the story are actually a mosquito.

    So I got to the part with the witches and realized something fatal. Went on to Wikipedia and found out that only female mosquitoes sucks human blood as they are the best source of energy before they give birth and they will not die if they don't get blood.

    Male mosquitoes normally gets their energy from plants juice and honey etc. They have nothing to do with human blood. In fact, they are poor creatures as they get brutally killed by humans anyway and they even get avoided by females around the time when they give birth.

    If you know the noise machines which keeps the mosquitoes away, they use the noise of male mosquitoes because they are the most hated sound of the female mosquito.

    I went off topic a bit. But the thing is.. If the male mosquitoes doesn't suck blood and female mosquito doesn't need blood to survive, this whole concept of the narrative fails and collapses.

    So I humbly asks for my fellow Orgahs help. Is there any ideas how this mosquito story could work?

    Cheers


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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    Spirit King Senior Member seireikhaan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by 187Beefyz View Post
    etc....

    So I humbly asks for my fellow Orgahs help. Is there any ideas how this mosquito story could work?

    Cheers
    Quite simple, really. Its just a story, no? If its just a story, then FIB. Who cares whether its just female mosquitos who suck blood? I cannot think of the number of stories I've heard(bearing in mind, movies are just stories played out) where fact is ignored in the pursuit of a good story.
    It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then, the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

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    The Abominable Senior Member Hexxagon Champion Monk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by seireikhaan View Post
    Quite simple, really. Its just a story, no? If its just a story, then FIB. Who cares whether its just female mosquitos who suck blood? I cannot think of the number of stories I've heard(bearing in mind, movies are just stories played out) where fact is ignored in the pursuit of a good story.
    This.

    Because you're the author it is your realm to nitpick about these things, but I can promise you the average reader likely has no idea that is the case. If you have a compelling story then no one will care.

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    Prince of Maldonia Member Toby and Kiki Champion, Goo Slasher Champion, Frogger Champion woad&fangs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    The children are sick and the blood is needed to cure them. The symbolism is still there and easily accessible. Cool story idea by the way! Any chance we'll get to see it in the mead hall any time soon?
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road,
    but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
    chicken's dominion maintained. ~Machiavelli

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    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by woad&fangs View Post
    The children are sick and the blood is needed to cure them. The symbolism is still there and easily accessible. Cool story idea by the way! Any chance we'll get to see it in the mead hall any time soon?
    Writing in Japanese as I am trying to learn some Kanji (Chinese characters) after 7 years of English in Australia.

    However, while its going to be full of grammatical and spelling errors, ill still give it a go
    Just need to hand write it first then ill translate it when i'm done.

    Thank you for your advice Khaan and Monk
    That is too true. Ill ignore the facts and stick to what I originally planned. Cheers
    Last edited by Beefy187; 02-09-2009 at 01:30.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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    Member Member Tratorix's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    That is too true. Ill ignore the facts and stick to what I originally planned. Cheers
    That what Dan Brown does and now he's a millionaire.

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    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tratorix View Post
    That what Dan Brown does and now he's a millionaire.
    That is soo true I reckon Angel and demon is a master piece though


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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    Vermonter and Seperatist Member Uesugi Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    You could always try substituting ticks or some other nasty critter for mosquitoes, I don't know if that will affect your grammar as I have no knowledge of Japanese grammar, but it's worth thinking about.
    "A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own."
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    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by Uesugi Kenshin View Post
    You could always try substituting ticks or some other nasty critter for mosquitoes, I don't know if that will affect your grammar as I have no knowledge of Japanese grammar, but it's worth thinking about.
    Grammatically it doesn't affect it. However I have more knowledge and love for the mosquitoes while I only have bitter memories for ticks..

    I have half the story in English done. Ill do the other half sometime today or tomorrow

    Thanks for the advice Kenshin dono


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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    Nobody Important Member Somebody Else's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Make it Jane's husband and children who are ill, and she has to go off and do whatever...
    Don't have any aspirations - they're doomed to fail.

    Rumours...

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    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by Somebody Else View Post
    Make it Jane's husband and children who are ill, and she has to go off and do whatever...
    I thought of that, except male mossys never drinks blood (maybe they do but only for fun) normally they live on other vegetablish things.

    Only female mossys drinks blood as with blood they are able to produce about ten times more eggs compared to when they dont have blood. so its not life or death.


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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    the G-Diffuser Senior Member pevergreen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Make it Jane is infertile and decides to get the blood of a god (or whatever it was) as a cure so she can deliver children to her husband? She could also be of a "high standing" like a princess or something in human terms. Don't think that would relate, but it makes more scientific sense?
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  13. #13
    Senior Member Senior Member Beefy187's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need some imput...

    Quote Originally Posted by pevergreen View Post
    Make it Jane is infertile and decides to get the blood of a god (or whatever it was) as a cure so she can deliver children to her husband? She could also be of a "high standing" like a princess or something in human terms. Don't think that would relate, but it makes more scientific sense?
    That could work actually.. I might write a different version of the story.

    Cheers Pever


    Quote Originally Posted by Beskar View Post
    Beefy, you are a silly moo moo at times, aren't you?

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