I downloaded Konny's mod which gives command stars in relation to the experience, so 25+ battles is +4 command stars. I really do enjoy that change to the traits. The one thing I don't quite understand is why most of my generals get the hesitant attacker trait even though I don't often wait til the end of a siege to attack a city.

I will say I just decide when a boy comes of age if they are going to be a general or a govern. I base the decision on their stats, but moreso I let the situation dictate. If I am just undertaking a new war or at a time of "relative" peace. If they are to be a general I have them make the circuit through my cities picking up the proper retinue members.