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Thread: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

  1. #1
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Post Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Looks like our neighbors across the pond have stumbled on the solution:

    For exactly two minutes on March 6th at 11.00am our consortium of psychics and healers will act as a channel for the positive thoughts of the entire country.

    Why Mach 6th at 11 am, you ask? Simple:

    March 6th has been chosen as Faith of Britain Day because March is a time of seeing light emerging from the darkness of Winter, therefore emphasising hope in an unsure world. Numerologically this date is symbolic because the 3rd month, the 6th day and the 9th year are all multiples of 3 which is about balance - which is what we strive to achieve as humans. The time, 11.00am is a master number, or a powerful 2 (1 + 1) which is the duality of the inner and outer self, encouraging us to look within to find solutions.

    Everybody clear on that? Now let's invoke quantum physics, even though we have no idea what that is.

    It is a proven scientific fact that thinking about something often causes it to happen. Some call this quantum physics. Others simply call it "faith." We ask that you open your mind to joining in with a unique psychic force that will change our lives through the power of thought.

    -edit-

    When I imagine the people involved with something like this, I picture the following:

    Last edited by Lemur; 02-18-2009 at 14:34.
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

  2. #2
    Clan Takiyama Senior Member CBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Sorry but my horoscope for next month says I should not believe in any mumbo jumbo, so no thanks.


    CBR

  3. #3
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    6 March. A Friday (and payday, yay!). 1100 GMT = 0300 California time. OK, I'll get up an hour earlier, and do an "OhhhhhM".

    Hey... it's no more voodoo than "let's throw money we don't have everywhere, and hope it sticks.".
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  4. #4
    Resident Northern Irishman Member ShadesPanther's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    6 March. A Friday (and payday, yay!). 1100 GMT = 0300 California time. OK, I'll get up an hour earlier, and do an "OhhhhhM".

    Hey... it's no more voodoo than "let's throw money we don't have everywhere, and hope it sticks.".
    It's to resurrect the Empire, so potential subjects of the British Empire II don't need to do it.

    "A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mudwrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a stack of French porn."
    - Edmund Blackadder

  5. #5
    Fearful Jesuit Member Romanus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    March 6th is a deadline for me. I have to turn in all my essay's and papers for the 2nd quarter so no time for all that mumbo jumbo.
    Last edited by Romanus; 02-18-2009 at 16:12.
    One of the episcopal clergymen who attended him went to the edge of the scaffold, and called out in a loud voice, "My lord dies a Protestant." "Yes,"
    said the Earl, stepping forward, "and not only a protestant, but with a heart hatred of Popery, of Prelacy, and of all superstition." He then embraced
    his friends, put into their hands some tokens of remembrance for his wife and children, kneeled down, laid his head on the block, prayed during a
    few minutes, and gave the signal to the executioner.
    - The death of the Earl of Argylle

  6. #6
    A very, very Senior Member Adrian II's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    My news ticker says the ghost of unemployment has juts been laid off. Remember, you heard it here first.
    Last edited by Adrian II; 02-18-2009 at 16:31.
    The bloody trouble is we are only alive when we’re half dead trying to get a paragraph right. - Paul Scott

  7. #7
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    Everybody clear on that? Now let's invoke quantum physics, even though we have no idea what that is.

    It is a proven scientific fact that thinking about something often causes it to happen. Some call this quantum physics.
    Who? Who are these people that call this quantum physics?


    CR
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  8. #8
    Dragonslayer Emeritus Senior Member Sigurd's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lemur View Post
    Everybody clear on that? Now let's invoke quantum physics, even though we have no idea what that is.
    It is a proven scientific fact that thinking about something often causes it to happen. Some call this quantum physics. Others simply call it "faith." We ask that you open your mind to joining in with a unique psychic force that will change our lives through the power of thought.
    I saw a show once called 'The Secret'. It had a lot of what you describe here.
    I tried it and it worked with parking spaces, but the 10 million has yet to materialize in my bank account.
    Status Emeritus

  9. #9
    Ranting madman of the .org Senior Member Fly Shoot Champion, Helicopter Champion, Pedestrian Killer Champion, Sharpshooter Champion, NFS Underground Champion Rhyfelwyr's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Will Parliament be halted for two minutes so the MP's can participate?
    At the end of the day politics is just trash compared to the Gospel.

  10. #10
    Honorary Argentinian Senior Member Gyroball Champion, Karts Champion Caius's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Forgive all the debts and lets see how things goes.




    Names, secret names
    But never in my favour
    But when all is said and done
    It's you I love

  11. #11
    Member Member Alexander the Pretty Good's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    There's a catch: if you don't get everyone on board, it goes horribly, horribly wrong.

  12. #12
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Crazed Rabbit View Post
    Who? Who are these people that call this quantum physics?
    Quantum Leap of Faith Healers.

    Odd that this organization only has email and snail mail under "contact us".
    This space intentionally left blank

  13. #13
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alexander the Pretty Good View Post
    There's a catch: if you don't get everyone on board, it goes horribly, horribly wrong.
    I never thought of that: the psychic wobble effect.

    If the GB, at even 40%, with the Commonwealth at a respectable 20%, and the former colonies participate at 9-12% (just for old-tymes sake), while the rest just set on thir bums and do nothing...

    M'gaw. The implications are huge. We've obviously got to either:

    1) get the whole world to participate, or
    2) scrap it all

    lest we do harm.
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  14. #14
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    I have to report to Fort Sill on March 6th, I wonder if the Army would let me call-in for this.
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  15. #15
    Member Member Alexander the Pretty Good's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    I never thought of that: the psychic wobble effect.

    If the GB, at even 40%, with the Commonwealth at a respectable 20%, and the former colonies participate at 9-12% (just for old-tymes sake), while the rest just set on thir bums and do nothing...

    M'gaw. The implications are huge. We've obviously got to either:

    1) get the whole world to participate, or
    2) scrap it all

    lest we do harm.
    It'll wind up with everyone working together except for one guy (maybe with the munchies!) hoping for Chinese food. And the world will drown in General Tso's sauce. A delicious way to go.

  16. #16
    BrownWings: AirViceMarshall Senior Member Furunculus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Maybe Britains recession won't be so bad after all:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/c...yone-else.html
    Furunculus Maneuver: Adopt a highly logical position on a controversial subject where you cannot disagree with the merits of the proposal, only disagree with an opinion based on fundamental values. - Beskar

  17. #17
    Amphibious Trebuchet Salesman Member Whacker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    It is a proven scientific fact that thinking about something often causes it to happen. Some call this quantum physics. Others simply call it "faith." We ask that you open your mind to joining in with a unique psychic force that will change our lives through the power of thought.
    .... So why hasn't Lemur's head exploded yet? I've been willing this to happen for years now.


    "Justice is the firm and continuous desire to render to everyone
    that which is his due."
    - Justinian I

  18. #18
    Senior Member Senior Member Fisherking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Whacker View Post
    .... So why hasn't Lemur's head exploded yet? I've been willing this to happen for years now.

    Maybe the approach was wrong…

    A strong enough vacuum might neutralize the outward force…


    Education: that which reveals to the wise,
    and conceals from the stupid,
    the vast limits of their knowledge.
    Mark Twain

  19. #19
    Master of Few Words Senior Member KukriKhan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Two words:

    Duck.

    Tape.

    (I tried the tp roll method to contain exploding brains . It works, but it leaks.)
    Be well. Do good. Keep in touch.

  20. #20
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Whacker View Post
    .... So why hasn't Lemur's head exploded yet? I've been willing this to happen for years now.
    This explains those weird headaches ... and the visions of Anubis, the jackal-headed god ...
    "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others." — Groucho Marx

  21. #21
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by KukriKhan View Post
    6 March. A Friday (and payday, yay!). 1100 GMT = 0300 California time. OK, I'll get up an hour earlier, and do an "OhhhhhM".

    Hey... it's no more voodoo than "let's throw money we don't have everywhere, and hope it sticks.".
    Did I hear Voodoo! I'm ready.


    Kalila Smith is kinda hot.




    Maybe the Brits ned to get in touch with some of these folks:

    New Orleans Voodoo Industry Website.

    CONVENTIONS - SPECIAL EVENTS - VOODOO THEME PARTIES-HISTORICAL GROUPS

    V00DOO WEDDINGS - VOODOO SNAKE DANCE
    Authentic Voodoo Rituals With

    The New Orleans Voodoo Crossroads Dance & Drum Ensemble

    My kingdom for a .

  22. #22
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yoyoma1910 View Post
    Kalila Smith is kinda hot.

    She looks lunie to me.
    This space intentionally left blank

  23. #23
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    She looks lunie to me.
    They all are.


    Edit:

    Err...

    And by that I mean voodoo priestesses.




    Maybe it's all that Luna... making them loony.
    Last edited by Yoyoma1910; 02-19-2009 at 17:47.

    My kingdom for a .

  24. #24
    Moderator Moderator Gregoshi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yoyoma1910 View Post
    Edit:

    Err...

    And by that I mean voodoo priestesses.




    Maybe it's all that Luna... making them loony.
    Changing your tune, eh?
    This space intentionally left blank

  25. #25
    Ice stink there for a ham. Member Mystery Science Torture 3000 Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Super Hacky Sack Champion, Pencak Champion, Sperm Wars Champion, Monkey Diving Champion Yoyoma1910's Avatar
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    Default Re: Britain Finds Cure for Recession!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gregoshi View Post
    Changing your tune, eh?
    It's called being married.

    My kingdom for a .

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