Man Cooking

[rasoforos]

I'm going to put that one in the same class as the deep fried Mars bar, chilli flavoured ice cream, and Marmite cake. The "I can't believe someone tried that!" class.

How does it work? How does it turn out?! I'm having difficulty imagining it as anything other than chocolate flavoured ciabatta, and that's like the anti-chocolate cake to end them all.

I ve never tried the chocolate sort but oil based cake works fine. Oil based sweets are quite popular during fasting time. If I was more any religious I would help you more but alas I am not so I am not fasting.

If I find it in a patisserie shop I promise promise promise I will try it and will also take a pic and let you know if it is any worth it

[Vuk]

Thank you Frogbeastegg, it actually does taste really good. Another thing you may want to try (which I also eat a LOT) is scrambled eggs and tuna. It is pretty similar, just whip the eggs up, toss in a can of 'tuna in water' with the water drained, mix it up, toss it in the pan and mix. Like the scrambled eggs and hotdog though, it is best with a little salt and a whole heck of a lot of pepper. :P
Anyway, I promised you a man recipe a little more substantial, so here today's is:

Vukburgers: - By Vuk

The most important part of any burger is not the meat, but the bun. :P If you select the wrong bun, you are doomed. You do not want one of the white doughy McDonalds bun, but instead you want something bready. It does not have to be heavy at all, but it has to have something to it, and be really soft. I do not know what is behind it, but what I have noticed is that the types of buns that I do NOT like will get hard when left unwrapped for 10 minutes. The really good ones though will not. I wish I paid more attention to names, but I did not, so I cannot reccomend a name, so that is the best I can do. :P
Anyway, to make a Vukburger, this is what you need:
Beef
Salt
Pepper
Buns
Lettuce
Tomato
Onion
Pickles
Ketchup
Mustard
Miracle Whip Salad Dressing
Butter
Cheddar Cheese

There are two parts to a Vukburger, and they have to be done at about the same time. :P They are the burger part and the toppings part.
The burger part is simple, just put the ground beef into a bowl, add just a touch of water, a tiny bit of salt, and a lot of pepper. Then roll need it so that you do not squeeze and compress the meat. Once you have done that, form it into burgers about 1/4 inch or so thick and 3 1/2 -4 inches wide. (again being careful not to compress the meat)
The burgers can then be cooked on a grill or in a skillet. If it is in a skillet, warm it up, put some butter in, and then put the burgers in. If it is on a grill, coat the grill with olive oil and put the burgers on. When they start to dry out, you can dab a little melted butter on to keep em moist. You should also lightly salt both sides (it is better than putting more salt into the meat when you mix it) and put a thin slice of cheddar on the second side 2 minutes before it is ready.

Now for the toppings (probably not the right word to be using), you need to put a sauce pan on a low heat and melt a stick or so of butter in it. Once the butter has melted, put the quarterturns of onions into it and stir it on a low heat. When the burgers are almost ready, put the onions into a bowl, but keep the butter. Mix mustard, ketchup, and Miracle Whip into the butter and stir it.
When everything is done, put the burger on the bun, pour some of the mixture onto it, put two slices of tomato, some pickles, lettuce, and some onions on it.

It IS a little high in calories, but it is all worth it. :P The onions lose their sting when you cook em like that, but their flavor is captured in the mix that you then put on the burger. I have had all kinds of burgers in my life, but never had one that I liked more. :P It is recipe I made myself, but I am sure that other people must have done it or things like it before.
Also, use really lean beef (the only time that you will ever hear me saying that), it holds together better and you get plenty of juicy fat from the butter.

[SwordsMaster]

Ok, fine, you made me do it. I was going to let you children have your fun, but alas, you're forgetting a VERY important part of the art of man cooking: Alcohol.

So here's a SwordsMaster Very Rare Steak:

Ingredients:
1 slab of beef 1 inch thick
1 cooking pan beef can fit into
1/2 bottle port/sherry (depending on required sweetness)
about a full spoon of Brie cheese
Double shot worth of whiskey

Procedure:

Heat up the pan (medium fire), dump the whiskey in it, and the beef, after the whiskey, but before it evaporates. Leave meat to cook until begins to bleed, then add port/sherry, and almost immediately turn. Add some more port/sherry (the idea is that there should we always some on the pan and on the meat). Yes you can do the old "One for you and one for me" trick. As soon as the meat starts to bleed after turning, add some gratined blue cheese, and take off the fire. Let cheese melt a little, and serve with baked potato and Shiraz. Or whiskey.

Real winter man-food. And of course it goes without saying that you can only cook meat you killed yourself...

[Vuk]

Ok, fine, you made me do it. I was going to let you children have your fun, but alas, you're forgetting a VERY important part of the art of man cooking: Alcohol.

So here's a SwordsMaster Very Rare Steak:

Ingredients:
1 slab of beef 1 inch thick
1 cooking pan beef can fit into
1/2 bottle port/sherry (depending on required sweetness)
about a full spoon of Brie cheese
Double shot worth of whiskey

Procedure:

Heat up the pan (medium fire), dump the whiskey in it, and the beef, after the whiskey, but before it evaporates. Leave meat to cook until begins to bleed, then add port/sherry, and almost immediately turn. Add some more port/sherry (the idea is that there should we always some on the pan and on the meat). Yes you can do the old "One for you and one for me" trick. As soon as the meat starts to bleed after turning, add some gratined blue cheese, and take off the fire. Let cheese melt a little, and serve with baked potato and Shiraz. Or whiskey.

Real winter man-food. And of course it goes without saying that you can only cook meat you killed yourself...

lol, if you had waited a bit, I was gonna give my Jack Daniels mutton roast recipe on Monday. (yes, I butcher the sheep myself) I do not drink alcohol myself (used to, but no more), but I love to use it in cooking.

[Fragony]

Vukburgers:

I can't believe you misspelled 'yuk'. Here is how it's done. First of all, forget about the bum you want pita, it's Turkish I don't know if it's available where you live without good hamburgers. These pita's need some time under the grill. Now, the rest is pretty basic really. You need ground beef, onions (and for the love of god RAW onions), cuccumber, lettuce, and tomatoe. Now here's the magic, sauerkraut with balsimico-vinigar. With that some honey-mustard, I don't know if you do that kosher thingie but a slice of ham makes absolutely awesome sheer perfection.

[Vuk]

I can't believe you misspelled 'yuk'. Here is how it's done. First of all, forget about the bum you want pita, it's Turkish I don't know if it's available where you live without good hamburgers. These pita's need some time under the grill. Now, the rest is pretty basic really. You need ground beef, onions (and for the love of god RAW onions), cuccumber, lettuce, and tomatoe. Now here's the magic, sauerkraut with balsimico-vinigar. With that some honey-mustard, I don't know if you do that kosher thingie but a slice of ham makes absolutely awesome sheer perfection.

lol, this is a 'man' thread, no Dutch allowed! (sorry Tosa ) lol, nah, but seriously, that just sounds gross. :P Don't bash a Vukburger until you try one, lol. I am in Europe now, so I may just drag my fat arse down to Dutchland one day, buy the ingridients and show you how it is done. You will have to have yours there too so I can try it.
Yes though, I am good, I eat Kosher. :P I am happy that way too, pigs are disgusting, and the meat is incredibly unhealthy and ridiculously hard for the human body to digest.
I like raw onions just as well as the next man (in fact, I peel raw onions and eat them 'as is' whenever I get the opportunitty :P), but on a burger like that, take my word on it (I have had LOTS of burgers), you want to do it that way.
Anyway, it is just a matter of man preference, so I will not argue about it. :P

[Fragony]

The greatest combinations are often the ones that are the most unlikely, for example strawberries and black pepper, or banana's with peanut butter, or boudin (which is a sausage made out of PIG'S BLOOD) with molases. The combination of sauerkraut balsimico and honey-mustard is perfection clear and simple.

[Vuk]

The greatest combinations are often the ones that are the most unlikely, for example strawberries and black pepper, or banana's with peanut butter, or boudin (which is a sausage made out of PIG'S BLOOD) with molases. The combination of sauerkraut balsimico and honey-mustard is perfection clear and simple.

Sorry Frag, but those just make me wanna barf. :P

[Strike For The South]

Burgers sbould have the following:

A white bun
Good meat
Grilled onions
Ketchup
Mayo
Mustard
Pickles
Tomatoes
Iceberg lettuce (I want it in my colon)
Avocado.

Pita bread for a burger is a communist plot to overthrow America.

[the tokai]

The greatest combinations are often the ones that are the most unlikely, for example strawberries and black pepper, or banana's with peanut butter, or boudin (which is a sausage made out of PIG'S BLOOD) with molases. The combination of sauerkraut balsimico and honey-mustard is perfection clear and simple.

I once had icecream that was strawberry and spanish pepper-flavored and it was the best and weirdest icecream ever, hot and cold at the same time.

As far as mancooking goes, I can bake eggs and drink beer. Doesn't get much manlier than that.

Also, I now need to know how to make marmite cake.

[frogbeastegg]

Also, I now need to know how to make marmite cake.

This is the best version of the recipe I could find on the net. The one I originally saw didn't have cheese and had the marmite baked into the cake rather than as a topping. It was contained in a brand name food cookbook my shop was selling last year.

I love Marmite. I cook with Marmite occasionally. Marmite cake is just wrong.