Boarding action does take a long time, although it might help campaign balance. If capturing were easy, one could simply steal a large navy early on.
I agree that the ability to stop is ridiculous, and that reaches should make more of a difference. I would certainly be interested in mods that address those issues.

As for tactics, I've had success forming a line astern, turning off fire at will, sailing past the first French line, and manually having everyone open up on their admiral. He shouldn't be hiding 3 or 4 ships back, that coward.