DOOM!

[Vuk]

I am the Prophet of DOOM! Appointed by Hope, the god of DOOM! I am here to spread his message of DOOM!
I stood in grove, and LO!, he did come to me, and told me The Age of the Wolves has come! You my Prophet shall gleefully gloat over the suffering masses! I trembled when I saw him, and said "Surely, I must still in sleep be, for how can this true? I a Prophet? Surely not!" A Holy Rage did come upon Hope, and he did shake his fist and shout ARE CALLING ME A LIAR, PROPHET?! I did resist mine un-Holy temptation to make a satanic wise crack and say "Nah, Hope, I am not calling you a liar Prophet, I am calling you a liar god". Instead I did bow my head and say "Then it must be that you are God, and that I am a Prophet, and that I am in a Grove that I never remember being in. If you say so, then it must be."
Take this O Prophet sayeth he as he did handeth me an oaken staff. Use it to chastise the unbelievers, so that their DOOM will be all the more horiffic. "Oh god of DOOM!" sayeth I, "If you are called Hope, how can you be the god of DOOM?"
I am called Hope because I bring hope and happiness to the world, and whenever there is misery, I always make sure that good springs out of it. I am the god of DOOM because I have grown tired of stupid mortals killing each other, and I am quitting my job. When Hope is gone, there will be only DOOM left. The power of his devine words lopped me offside the head, and I did say "Oh great god of DOOM, I will be your Prophet and spread your misery throughout the world!"
Go! And make humanity miserable!


The Prophet has spoken! The Age of the Wolves is coming!
Prepare for DOOM!